Right Now I really need some words of wisdom about this breakup in my relationsh

[lightx]

OK! So I've been dating this girl for over a year now until we broke up three weeks ago... After the breakup she wanted too be " Friends with Romantic Interest " I asked her what the was that ?" And she didn't give me a Response.. I asked a few friends of mines they said its FWB. So now in my mind I'm confused. So Let me go back a week to what was said during the breakup -_-! She said to me that I was too nice, and she felt I needed to be with someone more family Oriented, and be there for me when I need them and that I was too romantic and on top of it all she stated I was too good for her!. Note: I thought and wonder to myself if she was even listening to any of the words she was spitting out because for one she has strong family values and she always been there for me.. Anywho, A few days later after she suggested the whole Friends with Interest I could'nt go through with that nor did I agree to it So she wanted to be just friends I Said " OK " . So we are at work one day and for a whole week we haven't talked to each other in awhile. Now we normally talk on Facebook, but I don't normally get on there alot or I'm to busy. So one day i got on and she deleted me off Facebook! o_O.. So when I confronted her about the whole FB issue she got all defensive about it saying we since we don't talk to each other in person or on Facebook we might as well not be friends and that when we see each other at work we should ignore each other altogether... So now I'm shocked, confused and lost and mad all at once...I said to her " there's been plenty of times we haven't spoken to each other and you didn't have a problem with it before til now!" . So she just shrugged her shoulders like it didn't matter. So i just said to heck with it whatever!......Weeks went by after that Incident we been avoiding each other and completely not seeing or talking to each other period. So far this has been going on for a month. Lately I been noticing her coming around Checking to see if I am there or Standing in a spot acting like she doing something when she clearly spying/stalking me or something. Its like she giving me hints to come and talk to her, but she is not making the effort to come and make peace with me when instead she just being nosy and avoiding me.. I dunno what to do anymore!

What do you guys make of out of this ?


I would talk to her but she gives me cold looks and stares and when the last time I tried to approach her she turns her back on me and walks away like I'm suppose to chase after her....

The reason right now I am not talking to her is that she said that we shouldn't be friends or talk to each other, but she told me that if I wanted to talk to her or make plans to hang out that the ball is in my court to make that move... Makes any sense, right.. No !


I Use to think that me being a Christian and her being Catholic was the issue, but I'm not sure. She is also 21 and I am 26 btw.


If there is anyone on this forum that can give me some words of wisdom a matter of fact " GODLY WISDOM " please I would so much appreciate your help.

God bless you ^_^

[chosenone]

As far as I know FWB means friends who have sex. Sex without the committment. Is that right?

My feeling is that she is playing games with you and that if she has told you it is over, then you need to ignore her and move on. She is sending mixed messages all the time. Do you think it may be a case of she doesn't want to be committed to you, but she doesnt want you to have anyone else? That may be why she is keeping an eye on you. Is it possible for you to ask for a transfer so you arent working together all the time?
My nephew is having similar issues with a girl he went out with from his work. He ended it in their case, and now she wont leave him alone. It is not a good idea to have relationships with people we work with for that very reason, you cant get away, and he is actually now looking for another job.

[Supplanter]

She is behaving very immaturely and playing games. She basically isn't interested in a comitted relationship where you are both equals and mutually giving. She does want you to chase after her because it is some sort of ego/power boost and gives her control in the situation.

My advice as a woman is to run far far away from a person like this. I'm thinking she did you a favor by doing this. It reveals her true character. I'd continue to ignore her and find someone who is interested in a mature relationship based on Godly principles of giving and selflessness as well as humility.  

[Bitter Sweet]

She is offended that you didn't take her up on the FWB thing.

Good for you, bad for her because it's driving her crazy. She's one of those women that tries to manipulate men with sex, best to stay out of her way as you are doing even though she pushed you further with her de-friending on facebook. She's relying on her own wisdom and digging herself a pretty deep grave.

Ironic, she wanted to be so close to you in the most intimate of ways and yet her actions have created the total opposite results.

[lightx]

As far as I know FWB means friends who have sex. Sex without the commitment. Is that right?

My feeling is that she is playing games with you and that if she has told you it is over, then you need to ignore her and move on. She is sending mixed messages all the time. Do you think it may be a case of she doesn't want to be committed to you, but she doesn't want you to have anyone else? That may be why she is keeping an eye on you. Is it possible for you to ask for a transfer so you aren't working together all the time?
My nephew is having similar issues with a girl he went out with from his work. He ended it in their case, and now she wont leave him alone. It is not a good idea to have relationships with people we work with for that very reason, you cant get away, and he is actually now looking for another job.

Yes.. Fwb is no commitment no feelings no remorse or regret. Kinda a harsh thing to do to someone, ya know -.-!

I asked a few people about my situation and like you said it seemed like she got scared of being committed in a relationship or She wanted too explore the male filed abit more before she was ready. What also hit me that someone told me that kinda made sense was she probably wanted to string me along with the whole FWB in case things fell through with some other guy she might have been seeing.

Well you see We work at a Nursing home and she works in the House keeping department and I in the Dietary department. So in many ways we are kinda far apart from one another its just I see her most often when I shouldn't if you get what I am saying.

She is behaving very immaturely and playing games. She basically isn't interested in a committed relationship where you are both equals and mutually giving. She does want you to chase after her because it is some sort of ego/power boost and gives her control in the situation.

My advice as a woman is to run far far away from a person like this. I'm thinking she did you a favor by doing this. It reveals her true character. I'd continue to ignore her and find someone who is interested in a mature relationship based on Godly principles of giving and selflessness as well as humility. 

When she broke up with me and de-friended me off Facebook i had already had her mom added to my list. Also when She blocked me on Facebook I couldn't send her messages or anything. So ended up telling her mom how Immature she was acting and being childish about this whole thing. So when I saw her two days later at work i confronted her to talk to her about everything. Thats when she got cold on me and said I opened a can of worms when I sent that message to her mom and said what I said. I was ticked off because it wasn't not to long ago her mom said that me and her were immature and that her MOM! said for her too dump me and leave me. O.o I just shook my head and walked away. Few days later thinking about it I gathered up my dignity and pride and sent an apology letter to her mom and the girl saying I was sorry for saying what i said and thanking them for everything they done for me and just left it on a good without no regrets.

The moral of all this was when I said to her mom that she was being immature and childish they didn't want to hear the truth IMO. The truth hurts and sometimes people don't want to accept it or acknowledge the fact they are wrong. Even through I sent the apology email to My ex and her mom she never once came up to me and said I got your letter or her mom saying anything about forgiving me or anything. As a christian man though I don't seem like I was at fault I just simply humbled myself and acted like the bigger man.

She is offended that you didn't take her up on the FWB thing.

Good for you, bad for her because it's driving her crazy. She's one of those women that tries to manipulate men with sex, best to stay out of her way as you are doing even though she pushed you further with her de-friending on facebook. She's relying on her own wisdom and digging herself a pretty deep grave.

Ironic, she wanted to be so close to you in the most intimate of ways and yet her actions have created the total opposite results.

Thank you btw....

Well as you know I am a virgin and she is too as-well.  But there has been plenty of times in the past she would slip up and say things she done with previous guys she dated such as she told me one time that she was at her house and it was night time and the guy throw her up on the truck and he was all over her then she kicked him in genital area and he was off her. Same guy! she said they were coming from somewhere and they were on her porch and he pulled out a condom right there in front of her well her parents were in the living room, but they didn't see them. So she said something like for him to put that away before her parent were to see that.

Then there was another time she said that her friend and some guy got naked in front of each other because they were curious of each other. ( Note: the way how I took it honestly this friend she was referring to sounded like her, but she didn't want to come out fully and say it completely.) Sorry if I am going on about this but I want you guys to know the full story with no holds bar to get a good visual of this person. Lastly, the last guy she went with that only lasted a month apparently she was on Webcam and this guy showed his  private part to her and was getting too sexu8al and dirty for her.




I know your wondering and thinking like if I knew all this why was I with her. Well, you know when you are with someone or around somebody you don't really pay attention to stuff that it doesn't sink in right away til later down the road. Thats me! I brushed it off as if it wasn't a big deal. My parents are loyal christian people. They say to me that the holy spirit talks to me and lets me know when someone isn't right or reminds you of something you brushed off. And honestly I think that's what it is that gods spirit it showing me and reminding about what she said.

You think so ?

[Bitter Sweet]

I know your wondering and thinking like if I knew all this why was I with her. Well, you know when you are with someone or around somebody you don't really pay attention to stuff that it doesn't sink in right away til later down the road. Thats me! I brushed it off as if it wasn't a big deal. My parents are loyal christian people. They say to me that the holy spirit talks to me and lets me know when someone isn't right or reminds you of something you brushed off. And honestly I think that's what it is that gods spirit it showing me and reminding about what she said.

You think so ?

A lot of times we want to think the best of people and ignore that other stuff. Then they start showing that side of the other stuff to us and it can no longer be ignored.

Do you want to know a secret about how some women remain virgins until marriage? They have anal and oral sex. Not all virgins are like this, you will know them by their fruits if you are interested in marrying only a virgin. One being upset because she was rejected might be a sign of rotten fruit. She's not being completely honest with herself or you. However, you are honest enough to see it first. Being completely honest is one of the hardest things a person can do unless you have the spirit of God in you, then you cannot lie, not even to yourself. You are showing that you don't lie to yourself either.

I think that was very honorable for you to apologize. Their reaction to it again says a lot about how the apple doesn't rot far from the tree.

[Supplanter]

I definitely think the Holy Spirit is showing you and warning you to stay away. You seem like a nice christian young man. There are plenty of christian women (they far outnumber men). Find a mature Christian woman who bears good fruit in her life. Sex is for marriage for a reason. And you've held to that and should continue to do so. Find a woman who respects and admires that and is willing to make a true commitment.

[Cally]

I think she's trying to get you to chase after her.

[bemark]

dude it over, move on with your life.

Forget she even mattered and if you cant then get someone who knows how to break off the spiritual attachment and then the issue will just fade away