Easier for me to date than to make friends.

[Carwhisperer]

I am recently divorced and have learned that I'm likely not really ready for a romantinc relationship. The problem is that I can't seem to make any guy friends. I have tried for a couple of years. I have joined men's church groups and reached out to guys at work. Pretty much no one ever texts me first or invites me to go anywhere. My on again off again girlfriend, on the other hand, texts like a teenage driver. Before her I got lots of texts from other womenses. So when I don't have a date I sit home alone. So naturally I am inclined to date even though I run the risk of hurting someone. I believe God made us social and to seek human interaction and friendship. What do you think?

[Thankfulldad]

I am recently divorced and have learned that I'm likely not really ready for a romantinc relationship. The problem is that I can't seem to make any guy friends. I have tried for a couple of years. I have joined men's church groups and reached out to guys at work. Pretty much no one ever texts me first or invites me to go anywhere. My on again off again girlfriend, on the other hand, texts like a teenage driver. Before her I got lots of texts from other womenses. So when I don't have a date I sit home alone. So naturally I am inclined to date even though I run the risk of hurting someone. I believe God made us social and to seek human interaction and friendship. What do you think?

I believe God made us to have a relationship with Him; seek God first...and all the other things in life including relationships with others wil find peace.

[chosenone]

Carry on going to guys events at church and elsewhere. How about guys hobbies? Are there any that you are interested in? So what if you have to make the first move and ask a guy to do something, just do it. Women are vastly different from men in the communication front, they will text more, speak more, phone more and generally talk more, thats just the way it is. Does it matter if sometimes you stay in?We cant  be socialising all the time. thats just not life. Get involved in other church things. Do you go to a midweek fellowship group? Is there something that you can do to help others like volunteering?
Dont go out with women just because you dont want to be alone, thats asking for trouble, and its being needy. It will also lead you into temptation again, and my advise, when you are ready to date again, is to never ever go out with a women who isnt a born again godly lady.

Have you actually broken up with this lady for good now? If so why is she still texting you?

Is your divorce final now?

[graciemay]

Stop dating and take time to get your head together.

Continue to persue interests you have and you will make friends.

Reach out to old friends you may have lost touch with and initiate a get together.

Explore! Be interested! Try some new things! That opens up your world = more opportunities to meet people.

Accept all invitations. That's what I did when I moved to a new area and was looking to make new friends.

I do not advise hanging out with angry men going through divorces. I witnessed how it dragged down my ex. Having friends who can identifiy with your situation is fine. But all that anger is poisen. It's like a cancer that spreads. So, make sure you surround yourself with positive people.

[IamStefanie]

(Sent this to you on IM but can't tell if it went through),
Carwhisper,  I can understand your plight, brother. I agree with a lot of your post here. Especially when you said we have a need for human interaction. However, we must give our life to God, and not continue to make our story our own. Let God make our story. You feel me? Let Him lead your life. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and these things will be given unto thee. Maybe I'm off by a word or two, but you know. And giving your life to God can take time. You have to trust Him tho. See, he understands because he loves us. He is rather patient with us. He knows we are still thinking on our own most of the time. That's what I belive he sees in me anyway. And since we all share many common issues, I see it in others. Ok, back to the point. I have read your posts over the last year or so, and though you have been opposed and given lots of advice by loving people of God, you have to seek God for yourself my friend. You have a special relationship with Him that should be explored. And you already have enough going on in your life, based on your posts. I'm going to stop here, you can do all things through Christ who will give you strength.