tired of waiting on the brocolli, getting hungry for icecream

[motormouth]

Ill be simple about this- I'm a late 20's Christian who's still single. Now i know that i should wait for the one God has for me and i don't doubt that one bit. But to be honest,  after all this time my patience is wearing thin. To the point that I'm finding unsaved women really appealing.

Once this wouldn't have been a n issue as i fully agree with and understand the concept of being equally yoked, I've even pushed it towards younger Christians. But now after years of nothing and seeing some of my friends marry off and get kids, i think I'm wavering in resolve and  I'm getting a STRONG  urge for  certain unsaved women, and not only unsaved women but  partyish ones. I literally have  had one for two  attractive women i know  with many signs of not for me- tattoos, tongue pierced, not virgins, dyed hair, dresses immodestly, but still i had an extremely strong attraction.

In fact many of these factors seem to pull more.  I've been praying to shake it off because i know its bad and dangerous but it doesn't seem to work. I even find myself subconsciously trying to talk to them. and to make matters worse, whenever someone tells me about waiting on God, i get annoyed after hearing it for so many years. I'm getting a little afraid that if one of them or another woman of that sort became receptive, I'd get stupid enough to form a relationship.
Any advice would be appreciated (please dint use the wait on God line)

PS. That's what the title means - Tied of waiting for whats good for me (broccoli) and getting hungry for whats bad (icecream)

[Lively Stone]

It is a consistent pattern that when one's human patience wears thin and one is ready to throw in the towel and do it for oneself, that is proof that the 'broccoli' is right around the corner. Satan wants you to miss God's best, and he is turning up the heat, impatient watching your patience.

You'll soon find that God is churning up some pretty special ice cream, designer flavoured just for you. Don't let someone else get it.



PS: I met my husband at a dairy---in the heat of August! He was the supervisor of the ice cream freezer, and had to wear a massive snow suit, and was outside having a break! It was a funny scene.

[chosenone]

motormouth, My 2 older children waited a long time also to meet their spouses. Both were 30 when they met the one, and are now happily married.
I am wondering about your church and what you do to meet Christian girls, because I am sure you know that Christian girls outnumber the guys. Maybe you need to be more proactive in your search, such as going to more Christian events, maybe trying the internet(I met my husband that way).Put your focus and energy into that rather than fantasising over women who you know full well aren't what God wants for you. My son was 30 when he went on the internet, and he had so many replies that he didn't know what to do with them, because as I said there are a lot of Christian ladies seeking a godly guy at that age.
I am sure you know that if you get together with the ladies you describe, you will probably end up having sex and messing thing up, and that will only lead to regrets and heartache.
God once said to me "don't settle for second best", and that's probably what He is saying to you now as well.
The girl that he has for you will be as good for you as brocolli, and as tasty as ice cream all mixed up in one.

[motormouth]

well both of those were breaths of fresh air and really appreciated, thanks. What i'd like is away to turn off such a strong attraction.

[Rainne]

motormouth,

I know what you are going through, I'm there myself. It is hard, especially when it seems like everyone you know is getting married or gushing about their newest relationship or having children. I get being annoyed by the "wait on God" line. It's frustrating to be in the late 20's and still be waiting for that special guy, err. in your case girl.

Think about it this way: you can give in and have the ice cream (unsaved mate) now but it will only be pleasurable for awhile and you will get sick later because you are lactose intolerant (a christian).

Honestly, the only thing I have found to turn off the attraction is to work on my spiritual life and grow closer to God. The closer I get to Him, the less attracted I am to the things which I know are wrong for me. I stop wanting the ice cream that I know is bad for me and instead start craving the broccoli.  It also helps to have someone keep you accountable, a buddy who will help you withstand the temptation.

[chosenone]

well both of those were breaths of fresh air and really appreciated, thanks. What i'd like is away to turn off such a strong attraction.

Well you werent happy with those replies. Sorry we were just trying to help.

Dont dwell on it, dont allow yourself to think about them, take evey thought captive and dont go to places where you will meet her/them. Its the same as if a married person is struggling with an attraction to another person. It happens in life and we all need to learn to deal with it. Not easy I know.Now is a good time to start. The more you feed it the more it will burn, like a fire.
All sins start in the mind dont they.
Joyce Meyers book The battlefield of the mind may help.

Put the focus and energies into meeting a Christian girl. What are you actually doing to do that?I know so many people who met their spouses on line. Why not try? Do you go to places where there will be Christian young people? Sometimes we have to be proactive in these things.

Sadly there is no 'magic switch' that takes away temptation, otherwise we would all be using it!

[motormouth]

no you misinterpreted me. I really am appreciative for them. Its alot different from that what i usually hear. But aint no way im doing online dating. Too many weirdos on the internet who could easliy claim o be Christian, i have no idea if they are or even if theyre actually female. I prefer face to face. And actually i acknowledge i need to meet more Christians, m only outlet and im much older than most (appealing) young women in my church so i need to get out and meet more. And i cant avoid those women as one works with me the other is continually in the area.

[chosenone]

no you misinterpreted me. I really am appreciative for them. Its alot different from that what i usually hear. But aint no way im doing online dating. Too many weirdos on the internet who could easliy claim o be Christian, i have no idea if they are or even if theyre actually female. I prefer face to face. And actually i acknowledge i need to meet more Christians, m only outlet and im much older than most (appealing) young women in my church so i need to get out and meet more. And i cant avoid those women as one works with me the other is continually in the area.

Ok. Thanks.
There are no more weirdos on line than there are in the real world. I met so many really nice people through being on Christian sites, both men and women, and of course met my lovely husband that way.
I know at least 7 or 8 Christian couples who met their spouse on line. Of course there are those who claim to be Christains and they arent, but thats the same in life generally.
I am glad that you are going to branch out though, sometimes people think that we have to wait for God to put someone in our laps, but we need to make some effort ourselves. I realise that if I hadnt gone on line, I would still be single, so I am very grateful that Gods uses this method of bringing people together in such amazing ways.

[motormouth]

 i actually belive in waiting on the grounds that, not hunting around as in God will set up the situation for you to meet the person, i know people it happened to., but if im not seeing anyone, im not seeing anyone, thats my problem

[Lively Stone]

My own 31-year-old daughter still lives at home and would dearly love to have a husband and children, and has had to work through all this, and has found that focusing on serving the Lord first and foremost with her life means that God will provide as she goes about His business---all in keeping with:

Matthew 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.


She is grounded in His word and faithful, and serves God in the church and serves others in His name, knowing that God is the faithful one, and He is literally LORD. Perhaps you can take a page from her book!

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires.

[amac]

motormouth

I know exactly what you are going through. Unfortunately, I was not as strong as you. I grew up in a house where it was assumed that God existed, but there was no discussion; no learning. I grew up not knowing what I know now. Along those lines of growing up, I fell into a few situations that I had no guidance, support, or help in. I lost my virginity in a very unfortunate way, and out of ignorance, I have my share of regrets. But I long for a Christian partner the way you do; someone to grow in faith with; someone who will inspire you to be a better person, to change the world; to love more fully and deeply. I can't offer you advice on how to find that person, or how to turn your "cravings" off. All I can offer is experience. I wasn't strong enough to resist the ice cream and all I am left with is regret. Regret and wondering if I can ever be forgiven for my actions; if I will in fact ever find that guy God so carefully crafted for me, or if I screwed that up. I wonder it a lot, that maybe my screw ups have caused God to see that I am not worth that man, nor do I deserve him..

I know that it's difficult, and I know that sometimes the advice you receive can be annoying ("Just be patient... she's out there") and no one really knows if that's true or not (plenty of people spend their lives alone) but I'll tell you this... the pain of the urges will beat the regret of actually taking those urges every day of the week. The regret and low feeling of self worth that will follow "settling" will eat you up inside and ruin every relationship you have thereafter.

[chosenone]

amac, if you have repented, you were forgiven at that time, and no, God will not hold your past mistakes against you. The death of Jesus has wiped away past sins and you are fresh and clean and have a new beginning.