The Disciple speaks to his Lord

[Jane_doe]

Disciple:

I will speak to my Lord, I who am but dust and ashes. (Gen. 18:27). If I think anything better of myself, behold Thou standest against me and my sins bear witness to the truth, and I cannot contradict it. But if I humble myself and acknowledge my own nothingness, and cast away all manner of esteem of myself and (as I really am) account myself to be mere dust, Thy grace will be favorable to me and Thy light will draw nigh to my heart; and all self esteem, how small soever, will be sunk in the depth of my own nothingness and there lose itself forever.

It is there Thou showest me to myself, what I am, what I have been, and what I have come to; for I am nothing and I knew it not. (Ps. 72:22).

If I am left by myself, behold I am all weakness; but if Thou shouldst graciously look upon me, I presently become strong and am filled with a new joy. And it is wonderful that I am quickly raised up amd s graciously embraced by Thee; I, who by my own weight, am always sinking to the bottom.

It is Thy love that effects this, freely preventing me, and assisting me in so many ncessities, reserving me also from grievous dangers, and as I may truly say, delivering me from innumerable evils. For by an evil loving of myself, I lost myself, and by seeking Thee alone and purely loving Thee, I found both myself and Thee, and by this love have more profoundly annihilated myself. Because Thou, O most sweet Lord, art bountiful to me above all desert and above all I dare hope or ask for.

Blessed be Thou, O my God, for though I am unworthy of all good, yet Thy generosity and infinite goodness never ceaseth to do good, even to those who are ungrateful and that are turned away from Thee:

O convert us unto Thee, that we may be thankful, humble, and devout; for Thou art our salvation, our power, and our strength. (Ps. 61:8).

- Thomas Kempis