I need reassurance... Wife kissed another man

[rob1984]

Good day, name is rob.. here is my dilemma.. i'll start from the beginning. My wife and I met when she was 17 and I was 21 years old.. we had our ups and downs.. mostly due to the age difference.. she was very spoiled and always wanted her way.. however i knew this was all cause of nurture and she will change as she grows older. And she has. Last November 2011  I got real drunk ( do not really drink ) I went out and got caught dancing with another woman and may have kissed her.. however i do not remember this its a big possibility. We have been going through rough patches in our relationship .

I neglected her alot.. not much attention so in turn she got drunk with her friends and we were separating our selves from each other.. fast forward to November 2012.. she was out with a co-worker ( which she found attractive  ) and they were just talking and she was asking him advice about our relationship and how to make it better and she was upset.. he kept feeding her booze and got her drunk.. just before she was about to leave to meet me at home after work. HE kissed her and unfortunately she kissed back... she then stopped and said it was wrong they should not have done this and called me to tell me what she did and to pick her up.  I think she also did this cause she was insecure .. gained 25 lbs in 7 years lost her hair to alopecia and wears a wig, and I did not give her attention and someone unfortunately did and she took that attention cause she missed it.

anyways We fought for a month straight. She did not at first believe me that she was used taken advantage of and that he really did not care about her.. all he wanted was to use her.. She did not believe that cause there was some attraction still.. however she admitted that to me.. after sometime away from work ( christmas leave ) We spoke and she said I get what you mean now. He did use me lied to me, pretended to be my friend and took advantage of me when I was Vulnerable and I hate him for that. She said she understands if I leave her as she wants me to be happy.. but does not want me to. I have forgiven her.. Now she has changed alot lately.. got a new haircut.. makes dinner all the time// never wakes me up after midnight shifts to do little tasks and she does it her self now. Shovels snow when it snows, is very proactive and as I wake up makes me coffee and tells me to relax.

Also working on getting a new job.. mostly a career cause she wants to make something of her self. Is this normal behaviour.. is she really sorry and regretting what she did.. I find this very confusing.. she is very regretful of what she did I feel that... she told me ASAP when all this happened when she did not have to, I think that takes alot to do. Can someone explain this to me in your point of view. Am I making a mistake for staying or was this a shock for her knowing I could have left and she would be screwed.. no where to go ect.. Thanks for reading I know its alot.

P.S  she stopped drinking.. sais it only brings negativity to her and has better things to do.. as well as started exercising.. what do I make of this 360. is it positive or not.

[alwarren26]

Hey there...at least she called you when it happened. That was my mistake, I didn't and I'm paying the price. I'm so happy that everything is going better. I'm praying that it gets stronger for you two.

[Carey]

Although her actions were a breach of trust, her immediate confession, shows that trust not entirely misplaced, and that in itself should be reassuring.  Add to that her repentance, reparation, and the positive changes it has brought, and you should be further assured.


Quoting reply #1 as it is hidden due to a bug in the system:

Hey there...at least she called you when it happened. That was my mistake, I didn't and I'm paying the price. I'm so happy that everything is going better. I'm praying that it gets stronger for you two.

[/i]