I need advice / opinions

[Lillybug]

Me and my bf have been together for 9 months, we were both saved 3 weeks ago. I am now 5 months pregnant and he has told me that God doesn't want him to be with me. Although he wants to be there for the child, he says he has no choice in being with me. If we both love each other, we're happy and were BOTH saved why would god want to separate a family??? Not meaning to question god but just really need advice.
Me and my bf have been together for 9 months, we were both saved 3 weeks ago. I am now 5 months pregnant and he has told me that God doesn't want him to be with me. Although he wants to be there for the child, he says he has no choice in being with me. If we both love each other, we're happy and were BOTH saved why would god want to separate a family??? Not meaning to question god but just really need advice.

Also I think it is wrong for the child to have to go back and forth for weekly visitation . I want a stable mother & father household for my child


He says that god has laid this on his heart and that he will obey his word. I have tried to explain that a family doesn't have to be a married couple. It is our child, a mother and a father. He says that it doesn't matter bc god only dislikes divorce and that we are not married therefore he isn't counted against for it, also saying that when the baby was conceived that we were living in sin and that god had no plan and no hand in the making of my child..... I'm interpreting as he is saying our child is a mistake? All babies are a blessing from god.

I would love advice and opinions from anybody !

[fcadcock]

1.  You can't make him stay if he's already decided to leave.
2.  If he's decided to leave and is using the bible for a way out, he's not saved.  Christians don't use the bible to get out of responsibility.
3.  You were living in sin and saying that you can still be a family and not get married is just as sinful as before except now you should know better.  Sex outside of marriage is sin even if you have children together.

I hope this helps.  If it sounds like I'm getting on to you, I'm sorry.  I'm not.  I'm just tired and trying to be concise.

[chosenone]

Hi Lilly bug, welcome to the family of God and also to this forum. 

He is right in that living together is wrong. Sex outside marriage is wrong, so that now you are both Christians he is trying to do the right thing. God may well have told him to move out for the time being.

However if you get married, that would solve it. You can then live together again as a married couple. If you love each other, are both saved, and are going to have a baby together, its hard to see why he wouldn't marry you. Maybe he feels guilt for the sex before marriage bit, and that the baby was conceived that way?

Why not go and see your pastor together.

   

[k-pappy]

Please forgive me if this is too blunt, but it sounds like he is trying to shirk his responsibility and use God as an excuse.  His behavior is not Godly.

I would suggest two things:

1) Talk to you pastor about the situation (best would be together, like choseone suggested, but if he refuses, go on your own)
2) Let your bf know he is still responsible for Child Support (regardless of whether he wants to "be there" for the child or not, the law states he has a financial responsibility)

I know the way he is acting can be heart breaking for you and I will definitely be praying for you.

[DaveW]

Every "word" from God that is not in the bible needs confirmation from someone who is mature in the faith. 3 weeks saved is NOT mature.

He needs to understand that fact and let others verify that it is truly from God.

[Red Baker]

Me and my bf have been together for 9 months, we were both saved 3 weeks ago. I am now 5 months pregnant and he has told me that God doesn't want him to be with me. Although he wants to be there for the child, he says he has no choice in being with me. If we both love each other, we're happy and were BOTH saved why would god want to separate a family??? Not meaning to question god but just really need advice.
Me and my bf have been together for 9 months, we were both saved 3 weeks ago. I am now 5 months pregnant and he has told me that God doesn't want him to be with me. Although he wants to be there for the child, he says he has no choice in being with me. If we both love each other, we're happy and were BOTH saved why would god want to separate a family??? Not meaning to question god but just really need advice.

Also I think it is wrong for the child to have to go back and forth for weekly visitation . I want a stable mother & father household for my child


He says that god has laid this on his heart and that he will obey his word. I have tried to explain that a family doesn't have to be a married couple. It is our child, a mother and a father. He says that it doesn't matter bc god only dislikes divorce and that we are not married therefore he isn't counted against for it, also saying that when the baby was conceived that we were living in sin and that god had no plan and no hand in the making of my child..... I'm interpreting as he is saying our child is a mistake? All babies are a blessing from god.

I would love advice and opinions from anybody !

Have someone explain Deut. 22:28-29 to him!  That is God's voice speaking to all of us! Not only should he pay the damels father a little cash, He does not have the right not to marry her!!  This is a holy, righteous, and spiritual law, for godly people to follow. So much more, if she be found with his child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RB

[MyFathersGirl]

Sorry Lilybug.  This is an awful lot to go through.  It is bad enogh that you are pregnant and then you have your boyfriend to deal with.  My first thought was exactly what bondservant said.  If your boyfriend was really trying to make things right, he'd marry you and you guys could raise this child together as a family.  The baby was not a mistake,  God has a plan for every single life althogh I don't know what plan he had for the one I got pregnant with out of wedlock because I miscarried.  It seems like such a waste that God didn't stop whatever was going on.  Anyway, take really good care of yourself so that the baby is born healthy and strong and know that it is loved by his or her mommy.  Maybe things will work out in the next four months with counseling.