ADVICE NEEDED!!!!PLEASE

[Dance4urlife]

Hello Everyone,

I am very new to this but I really needed some advice. My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years. He currently works at the welfare office. He helps individuals get off welfare and finds jobs. One night he recieved a text from one of his clients ( business phone). I thought it was pretty late for his phone to be going off so in the morning I looked in his phone and saw one of his clients wrote "omg I want u sooo bad, I cant wait to see you" in his TRASH folder. I then looked at phone records and seen he's been calling her numerous times on and off the clock. So I asked to see his phone and there was no record of him calling her. Which means he erased it. He also left the house on two occasions (gym, store) and he called her while he was out. He erased this out of his phone as well. He says she's new to the city and needed someone to talk to. REALLY? So he is still in contact with  this client who knows he is married with small children, and they both call each other. Almost daily, but he used to excuse she's my client. I've called her and she did not sound a bit sorry for the disrespect, she denied it OF COURSE. She didnt not try to explain or anything she simply said "he's my career advisor" and left it at that. Im soo hurt confused, I really dont know what to think.. AM I CRAZY FOR THINKING SOMETHING IS GOING ON....my husband has called me insecure. Im Praying for the truth whatever it may be.

[Carey]

It seems to me when a client texts "omg I want u sooo bad, I cant wait to see you" a conflict of interest has arisen, and she should be placed with another adviser.

I don't know if you are "insecure" or not, but you certainly have a valid concern here that needs addressing.  I wonder how secure he would be if the situation was reversed.

I don't have much advice to give, but do not let him convince you that the problem is your insecurity.

I am sorry you have to confront this,   

[Lively Stone]

Where there is smoke, there is fire. Don't shove this under the rug, Dance4urlife---for the sakes of yourself, your husband and children.

[chosenone]

This is totally innappropriate and very dangerous. If it is innocent then why is he hiding it? What she said was way over the line, and he has no business in needing to contact her outside work. You are not being insecure at all and red flags are waving.
I would suggest that you both go and see a  trusted mature godly couple from your church, he needs a wake up call.
I have lost count of the number of people who I know who have cheated with people they met through work.

WE all need clear and godly boundaries in our behaviour with the opposite sex, one of which needs to be no such personal texts or phone calls. Any phone call which we cant take in front of our spouse, or any texts that we need to hide ,are crossing the line.

[johndoo]

If you need it there is an infidelity forum at another site.
I don't think I can link you there.
It is based off the book "His Needs, Her Needs"

[NowFound]

From one who has been in the spot where your husband likely is, this is bad.
Of course you aren't being insecure.  Had it been one text, it could have perhaps been misaddressed and intended for someone else.

But when you add in the multiple calls that had been erased, the explanation later of her needing someone to talk to, and jumping to blaming you for finding it out, it's just wrong.

This should be addressed on two fronts:  Directly with him, and directly with God.
I'd pray first.  Pray for strength, clarify, wisdom, and pray for your husband as well.  He needs to wipe this woman entirely from his life, confess his sins, ask for forgiveness, and repent (turn away).