embarrassing question...

[dvn56]

i hope this isnt inapporatie but, I'm 22 years old and I don't want to have sex before marriage, but someday I would really like to get married. However I went to the dr. In march and he said I have a very small penis (its only about 3 1/2 inches erect) He said it shouldn't affect my sex life, however I'm very worried that if I get married it will be a problem. I talked to my older sister about this, and she said to just find a good Christian girl and it won't be a problem, but I still think this going cause me a lot of problems. I would really appreciate any advice...

[chosenone]

Hi dvn, no of course it isnt inappropriate, but I have moved it to singles sexual discussion. I hope that is ok.

The length of a mans penis varies enormously, as everthing else on our bodies does. While there is an average, many many men are much larger or much smaller than that, and that is the amazing thing about the womans vagina, it isnt large, but it expands to fit whatever size of penis enters it. So when you marry, your wifes vagina will expand to fit you perfectly. Please dont worry, if you allow God to lead you to the girl he has for you, the size just wont be an issue. Just as your future wife may worry cos she has small breasts ,for example, that wont be an issue to you because you love her just as she is.

You are doing the right thing by waiting till marriage for sex, you will be blessed for that.

God Bless.

[DaveW]

You are doing the right thing by waiting till marriage for sex, you will be blessed for that.

Amen!

Now as to size - it is probably something you should talk about before you get married; probably about the time you get engaged. 

While to many women I am sure it would not be an issue; (in fact it may be preferable as "small" tends to make first time intercourse easier) there are some women, Christians included, that want a large one; just like there are christian guys who like large breasts.  (I am not one of them)

Of course if she is equally committed to no sex, she may have no preference either way and her tastes will be based off of what you have.

[dvn56]

That's what I was thinking, telling her later in the relationship. I am very scared of dating, I've heard a lot of body shaming horror stories or women cheating because of this, it s very terrifying. I know people say be confident etc, but when you hear stuff like it makes it hard. Makes me wanna join the priesthood lol.

[fassopony]

I'm telling you this as a Christian female but I want you to realize that I have only been saved for four years at age 37.  I had years and years of fornication under my belt by then so I know of what I speak.

You are worried about sex and the size of your penis because you have not had sex or been in a committed Godly marriage.  Granted, there is a small chance you might marry an evil mean spirited snatch but I am doubting that :)  Should I ever date or even get married it would not be an issue.  It's sex, sure it's fun but it really becomes too much of a hang up for what it is.  God is better, trust me, having been on both sides of the fence ;)

You can talk about it maybe around engagement but be prepared for her to share what she perceives as her own short comings LOL!!  We all have things we are unsure about.

PS-go look at that statue of David, the hottest hottie of the era, tearing about being handsome and marrying everyone, even lured his faithful mans wife Bathsheeba.  Now, get a good eyeful of ole Davie nekkid.  THAT is not what one might call well endowed ;)  Didn't seem to hurt him much LOL!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_%28Michelangelo%29

[chosenone]

That's what I was thinking, telling her later in the relationship. I am very scared of dating, I've heard a lot of body shaming horror stories or women cheating because of this, it s very terrifying. I know people say be confident etc, but when you hear stuff like it makes it hard. Makes me wanna join the priesthood lol.

Make sure that you only go out with godly young women who you meet at church or church type places. By the way men cheat as well, and life has bad stuff as well as good sadly. Most people have bad experences before they find 'the one'.

[DaveW]

PS-go look at that statue of David, the hottest hottie of the era, tearing about being handsome and marrying everyone, even lured his faithful mans wife Bathsheeba.  Now, get a good eyeful of ole Davie nekkid.  THAT is not what one might call well endowed ;)  Didn't seem to hurt him much LOL!!

Michelangelo certainly did not give his statue very much "down there," but that is probably more a reflection of the attitudes of the day which villainized sexuality and exalted celibacy.

In reality he may have been massively slung.
Or the sculptor may have been too generous.  No way to know.  It is just an artist's rendition.

[MyFathersGirl]

You're not too small so don't worry about that.  As chosenone told you, the vagina is actually quite small and you would in fact fit it perfectly.  I read that the vagina is actually only about three inches long and the cervix moves back to accommodate the penis.  It will just be less work for your wife's body. :)  If a woman can't accept you for who you are they weren't the one for you anyways.

[JonahGirl4]

I have been a Christian for only a short time. Before that I had premarital sex with more than one person, and I think I had actually had the best sex I've had so far with the guy with the "smallest endowments". I can't speak for all women, but for many of us, sex is a mental thing. This is talking about it even from the perspective of fornication.

Part of the reason why I decided to wait until marriage to have sex again was because I want sex to be about intimacy and love. No matter what endowments or technique a guy had, it just didn't satisfy this desire. In a relationship based on love, where the sex is about being intimate with each other, your wife will love whatever you have because it is yours. All this worry men and women have about sizes and shapes and whatnot... that's coming from the wrong place.

[dvn56]

Thanks everyone for your support. I was honestly going to avoid marriage, thank you guys for helping me. I know I now feel I can get married in the future.

To the poster who pm'd me: thanks for your pm, I just read it. I'm having trouble pming you back. So I'm posting it here, I hope you find it. Thanks for your help.

[chosenone]

Thanks everyone for your support. I was honestly going to avoid marriage, thank you guys for helping me. I know I now feel I can get married in the future.

To the poster who pm'd me: thanks for your pm, I just read it. I'm having trouble pming you back. So I'm posting it here, I hope you find it. Thanks for your help.

As long as you let God guide you to the right girl, and that she is godly and a believer, marriage will be good. I love being married, it is a joy when it is with the right person.

[dvn56]

I will definitely tell her though. I'd hate for her to find out on the wedding night. Also I don't want her to have expectations - only for me fail to meet them.

[chosenone]

I will definitely tell her though. I'd hate for her to find out on the wedding night. Also I don't want her to have expectations - only for me fail to meet them.

In my experience, womens expectations are for very different things than the size of a husband genitals.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

In most sports, there are two things - talent and skill.  If you think you're low on natural talent, then focus on skill instead.  You should have no problem pleasing your lover, if you know what you are doing.

Jarrod