Closure to remain single?

[paidfor1]

Have any of you decided that single for you is the preferred way of life? I'm curious to know for myself if maybe God would want me that way. Most days I would say yes, but some days I have doubts.

I'm a 48 yr old divorce guy for about two years so I'm still in that thinking i'm a flunky mode. Plus at my age, I don't "burn with passion" as I did in younger years. Me thinks a bit of monkness spawning within.

Sitting on a fence. Not sure.

Your personal thoughts of your experience gladly welcome...

[RoninJedi]

Have any of you decided that single for you is the preferred way of life? I'm curious to know for myself if maybe God would want me that way. Most days I would say yes, but some days I have doubts.

I'm a 48 yr old divorce guy for about two years so I'm still in that thinking i'm a flunky mode. Plus at my age, I don't "burn with passion" as I did in younger years. Me thinks a bit of monkness spawning within.

Sitting on a fence. Not sure.

Your personal thoughts of your experience gladly welcome...

I haven't been divorced, so I can't really draw on any personally experience.  But I can tell you (or perhaps just remind you) of what the Word says.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul discusses the proper conduct of men and women within marriage.  Then he shifts gears a bit.

"But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."
-1 Corinthians 7:6-9

Marriage is not a commandment.  It isn't something you're required to do.  For some, they can accept this, others can not.  Paul said if you are unmarried or a widow, it's good for you to stay that way.  But if you can't contain (referring here to sexual impurity), it is better for you to marry.

I would say that if you are content to remain single, then remain single.  I'm going to assume since you "don't burn with passion" as you used to, that sexual impurity is not something you're worried about, so Paul's comment in that regard doesn't really pertain to this discussion.

Honestly, I don't think anyone can tell you what you should do.  Biblically, you are certainly allowed to do as you wish.  Seek a new relationship and marriage, or remain as you are.  There is nothing right or wrong with either one of those.

I'm sorry, I know that may not necessarily be helpful, but that's how I see it for whatever that's worth.

[chosenone]

Its for you to decide. After my divorce(married for 25 years) I was aware that as a single Christian woman in my 40's,I didnt have that much chance of meeting a godly guy of that age or slighly older.(Available middle aged men in the church are rare) However I always knew that I wanted to marry again, and after 6 years I met my lovely husband (now been very happily married for over 7 years).
IF deep down you would love to meet another lady for companionship and friendship(and yes, sex!)then maybe you are not to be single, but if you have none of that desire and are totally contect to be alone then leave it at that.
However, do you have to make a decision? Why not just wait and see what God has in store for you, and allow Him to do what is best.

[DaveW]

Marriage is not a commandment.  It isn't something you're required to do.  For some, they can accept this, others can not.  Paul said if you are unmarried or a widow, it's good for you to stay that way.  But if you can't contain (referring here to sexual impurity), it is better for you to marry.

That is true.  But remember the words of our Lord in response to the disciples saying it was better to not marry:

Matt 19.10 The disciples *said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."
11 But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.

That last phrase puts celibacy as a charismatic gift; on par with prophecy and healing. That is not something anyone can choose for themselves.

[paidfor1]

Thank you all for the thoughtful insight.

I was also considering what God said in the beginning...It is not good for the man to be alone.

I figure Adam must of at least had a dog, or a stray cat in the mist. Even so God hooked him up. I did some reading "Down but not Out" by Al Maxey and I remember him doing some research on the Corinthian marriage quotes. Much of Paul's import on this subject had to do with his projected view of the coming tide of persecution and how such calamity to security this will have on budding family relationships. Interesting stuff and a good read.

[IStillHaventFound...]

I think it is kind of sad when people give up on love. I have met a lot of people in their 30's and 40's who have basically given up. I think if you don't give up you will find someone, especially if you work on self improvement. I can't say I'd rather be in a bad relationship than no relationship at all but I'd rather be in a 6/10 relationship than none at all. No relationship is perfect.

[Lively Stone]

Christian singles have one up on that. They seek God in the matter and allow Him to provide.