struggling with godly standards

[highlyfavored]

Hi, i am a Christian and have been born again since 2001. I am really struggling with my zeal to please God. I am facing pressure to have a child even if it is out of wedlock(which is my only option for now). My close friend, my sister and even my mother; have recently been reminding me about "my biological clock' and the need for me to have a child to help and care for me when i am old. I think i am beginning to believe them, that my biological clock is ticking. It seems my faith is dwindling. I need to be reminded of God's faithfulness, and i need scriptures that would keep me faithful to God. Please help.

[Helen]

Wow!  You are being pressured to sin!  And they want your child to have to pay for that!  That's rotten!

What you need to do is relax, actually.  Think of yourself as a glove and Christ as the hand.  The more you try on your own, the more fearful you are, the 'stiffer' you are.  Relax and know HE will get his work done through you.  You don't need to try to 'help' Him.  He's a pretty capable Person! 

Forget your biological clock.  Your spiritual position is much more important.  Yes, God will take care of you, and in amazing ways -- ways evidently quite unknown to your mother and sister and friend.

You want Bible verses?  Read Psalms.  David was beset by incredible adversity and he talks about it and about the Lord's faithfulness through those Psalms.  Read the book of Philippians -- super encouragement.  Read the book of John -- proofs of Jesus as God. 

Are you in a Bible-teaching/preaching church?  You need Christian friends who will support you in terms of you following the Lord, not the world.

[chosenone]

I think you need to tell your family that we don't have children to care for us in our old age, and for a believer, having a child when you aren't married is wrong. Are they Christians? If so why are they saying such things that are both unhelpful to you and against Gods teaching?    I don't know how old you are, but I know 3 women who have had first children in the last 18 months who were all in their 40's.  If its Gods will for you to marry and have children then that will be a blessing, but sadly not everyone gets married and not everyone has children.   

Politely tell your family and friends to mind their own business and keep their thoughts to themselves.

[JohnDB]

So others are pressuring you. Big deal. They don't have to live with your choices. ..you do.

And sin is worse than you think.  You commit it and all those around you that you love the most have to pay the price for it.

what about the "guy"?

He gets no say in what becomes of his child?
I know a guy who desperately wanted one only to find out AFTER his former girlfriend did have his son put up for adoption and he was adopted out.

So I know of at least three people hurt at a minimum for such actions In one scene.  No telling how far the hurt will go.

[dotterofzion]

The Bible is full of examples of believers who prevailed in their faith despite their trials. Please read the book of Job. After he lossed everything he owned, his friends and family members challenged his faith, even his wife asked him to curse God and die, but he refused and he remained faithful. God rewarded his faith in the end. God will do the same for u, if u remain faithful.

[RoninJedi]

Wow.  While reading this, I was reminded of a line from the 1987 run of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, when Shredder tells the turtles to join him and Raphael says, "Does the phrase 'go suck a lemon' hold any meaning for ya?"  I think you need to set this straight with your family - the simple fact is that what they are attempting to pressure you into is STUPID in ways that defy logic or description.  If they don't get it, you need to walk away, yesterday.

"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.  For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple." - Romans 16:17-18

I'd say telling you to have a child out of wedlock is "contrary", wouldn't you?  And notice that Paul doesn't say, "avoid them unless it's your family".  He says it simply - avoid them.  Period.

So I would suggest a real heart-to-heart on this matter with your family.  And then if they still choose to try and pressure you into this, you need to walk away and not look back.

[Celery]

And yet just another example of sloppy Christianity. Sex outside of wedlock is a sin, and secondly, life is all about worshiping God and storing our treasure in heaven. Christians today seem far more interested in living a happy comfortable life right now. They seem unsatisfied.

[Just_Peachy]

Wait. God orchestrated families so that children would have 2 parents (a husband and wife) reasons that far surpasses our understanding. Yes, it's challenging to wait (particularly in your 30's or 40's), but you'll be better off waiting on God's choice and plan unless you want to mother another "Ishmael." (Genesis 16) In the meantime, here are some scriptures about seasons: Ecclesiastes 3:1, Daniel 2:21, Acts 1:7, Galatians 6:9. Get before God and ask Him blatantly if there's anything you need to do while waiting. Are you actively preparing to be someone's wife or is your routine set in stone so you rarely are in position for God to present you to a good Christian man? Are you serving or volunteering at church in any capacity? Do you need to heal from past relationships? Do you take good care of yourself - i.e. eat healthy, work out, improve communication skills, etc.? These can be useful things to spend time doing while actively waiting!