Need help from you ladies.......

[777]

I'm a guy (early 40's) and occasionally join a christian dating site (we all know the one).  Anywho......I have a question that I have never been able to ask successfully.  When I ask it on the dating site, most women think I'm bashing them,....but I'm totally not.  Ok, here it is....................

There is a section labeled "DO YOU WANT KIDS".  Now,....I run across TONS of women who say "yes".......the problem is, they are 40, 41, 42 years old.  They CAN'T be talking biological right??  They must mean adoption, yet they never mention it in their profiles.  Besides the fact of having a baby at age 42, you would probably be confused as the childs grandmother in public.  This is just crazy!  Someone PLEASE explain this to me.

[777]

22 views and not a single reply.  lol   See what I mean?

[Rella]

I can answer this question for my self.....

I also have been on the Christian dating sites, and possibly the same one as you.

I am 66 years old and when I answer that question I always say yes.

The reason is this.

If there is a man of interest and he has children, I certainly do not want him running off if I would say no I dont want children.

I do not mean that I would give birth... LOL.... but I would welcome any children he had, youngsters or grown and on their own.

[chosenone]

I'm a guy (early 40's) and occasionally join a christian dating site (we all know the one).  Anywho......I have a question that I have never been able to ask successfully.  When I ask it on the dating site, most women think I'm bashing them,....but I'm totally not.  Ok, here it is....................

There is a section labeled "DO YOU WANT KIDS".  Now,....I run across TONS of women who say "yes".......the problem is, they are 40, 41, 42 years old.  They CAN'T be talking biological right??  They must mean adoption, yet they never mention it in their profiles.  Besides the fact of having a baby at age 42, you would probably be confused as the childs grandmother in public.  This is just crazy!  Someone PLEASE explain this to me.

Sorry but I know several ladies who have had children in their early 40's. Off the top of my head I can think of about 5 or 6 who I know personally. My closest friend had twin boys at the age of 40(who are now age 27)and another friend at church had a baby boy at age 42, 18 months ago. He is thriving, and they are so happy. My half brother was born when his mum was in her early 40's(he is now 20). A good friend of my son and his wife had a baby last year, and she is 43 I think. Its pretty common now that people are having children so much later, and why not. If they have never had children then why cant they be hoping that they can still meet a guy and have them?
More concerning to me when I was on dating sites, were the men in their 50's who still wanted children, and were looking for woman in their 30's. Needless to say they were still looking when I met my husband 2 years later.

Of course some MAY mean that they would be happy if the man had children. You would have to find that out if you got to know any of them better.

Do you have children? What do you put for that question?

[chosenone]

I can answer this question for my self.....

I also have been on the Christian dating sites, and possibly the same one as you.

I am 66 years old and when I answer that question I always say yes.

The reason is this.

If there is a man of interest and he has children, I certainly do not want him running off if I would say no I dont want children.

I do not mean that I would give birth... LOL.... but I would welcome any children he had, youngsters or grown and on their own.

Hopefully at that sort of age they would grown up. lol

[777]

Yep, I have a teenage son, but I mean these ladies are ALREADY 42.  Meaning,...the time it would take to meet someone, date, get engaged, get married and THEN have a baby, the woman would be closer to 44 when she delivered.  I guess I just wish they would say something in their profile about wanting biological kids or adopting them. Its frustrating for me cuz at 40.....ahh.......something, I am not wanting more kids, but also don't want to contact the person because it says "Yes I want kids" after already checking the box that says "I'd accept other's children".  Oh woe is me.       

[chosenone]

Yep, I have a teenage son, but I mean these ladies are ALREADY 42.  Meaning,...the time it would take to meet someone, date, get engaged, get married and THEN have a baby, the woman would be closer to 44 when she delivered.  I guess I just wish they would say something in their profile about wanting biological kids or adopting them. Its frustrating for me cuz at 40.....ahh.......something, I am not wanting more kids, but also don't want to contact the person because it says "Yes I want kids" after already checking the box that says "I'd accept other's children".  Oh woe is me.       

OK so there are 2 boxes. One for ok with others kids, and another that says wants their own kids? Is that right? If that is the case then you know which ones want their own children, right?

I cant blame them, I would want children if I hadn't had any by that age. You have a son, they don't have children remember. Actually a lady from my church who is a friend of a friend, recently had her third child at the age of 49!!!!!That's the oldest mum I have ever known.

Maybe you need to stick to ladies who are already mums if you dont want any more, which will probably mean divorced ladies in the main.

[Faithful]

Interesting question and I know for me, that I have debated over it when filling in those questionaires too! 

For me, my honest reply is that I am genuinely not bothered either way.  I'm 39 and always figured if I met someone who really wanted children and there was time, ok, go for it.  But equally if I was with someone who had children or didn't want children, I'd be fine with that too.   But here's the problem....if you select 'don't want children' on the profile, that can be interpreted as though you'd a hideous, non-maternal woman.   I am totally not that person at all....I'm just kinda in the middle.   It's a not a major focus for me.

So, for me at least, it's one I always dither over!  I am possibly not alone in this?!