Girlfriend's changing

[PursuingChrist]

Hey guys,

I need some advice and I would much rather it come from fellow Christ followers.

I am a very ordinary 22 year old guy, working as a sports coach, planted in the local church and loving life!

I'd like to think I'm a modern and forward thinking kind of guy but recently I've got really bogged down.

My girlfriend, who I've been with over three years now - also a Christian, longer than me actually, has recently started changing her behaviour.

She has a new job and lately she's started wearing much shorter skirts and tight dress for the office. She tells me there's guys our age who she really gets on with at work.

When ever I share my views about revealing clothes etc, she says I need to get with times and stop being bothered.

It grinds on me. It's really getting to me and I don't know what to do? Am I wrong? Am I over protective?

She says I shouldn't worry about other guys - I trust her entirely - but this change of wardrobe and stuff isn't convincing me.

Should I be worried? Or am I being daft?

[JohnDB]

Yep.  Time to worry.

Its a character thing.

But as a spiritual leader in your relationship you cant boss her.  You have to LEAD her.

She has to want to follow.  Sounds like she is checking out others and looking for reactions.

Maybe asking questions about future results of choices made by others you know...

[johndoo]

Is this a move to create jealousy?
Are you moving forward in your relationship toward marriage?

Since you aren't married, you're not really the leader of the household.  You can however tell her how you feel. 
"When you dress that way it makes me feel that you're trying to attract other people."
Hopefully this will lead to a conversation about what is going on in your relationship.

[Quest4EverLife]

I agree with JohnDB. This does look like real trouble is at hand. This kind of dressing often means a girl is trying to get "Sexual Attention' from other guys who are around her. As much as she wants to deny this in her mind she knows what she is doing. .
 
If this girl was a true Christian she would be wearing clothes not exposing her body to tempt other men to look where they should not be looking. . . Not every woman who does this physically goes out to cheat. But women often flirt even when they already have someone, boyfriend or spouse. . .Lots of women and men are not even caring about rings on the fingers. Some people hide the ring in the pocket or somewhere else. .
 
I would not give this girlfriend the benefit of the doubt. . If she really is a Christian and she does love you then put on some clothes woman's pants and blouse. Your girlfriend should be allowed make up and fixing her hair. But there is no reason to have short skirts or bikini tops. Men are just too weak. For even women that dress casually are often still prey to guys who just like to flirt with woman. . . 
 
When I was younger I use to walk about with my shirt off or tank top shirts. . Today I don't do that because I don't want to purposely tempt women to check me out that way. So when I go out I will always have a least a T shirt and pants or a long pair of baseball shorts. Who has any reason to look at me this way except my Fiancee Anna?. I am not up for grabs.
 
Your girlfriend, as johndoo said should listen to you in Leadership. . If she really belongs to you she ill do the right thing. I personally don't trust skimpy dressing women. To me it is a statement 'look at me and my body'. It's easier to not fall in such traps if women would stay to casual woman's dressing.

[Jason_NC]

Yep.  Time to worry.

Its a character thing.

But as a spiritual leader in your relationship you cant boss her.  You have to LEAD her.

She has to want to follow.  Sounds like she is checking out others and looking for reactions.

Maybe asking questions about future results of choices made by others you know...

If they are just dating,  don't know that being her spiritual leader is his role.

To the OP, there are scriptures that speak of modest dress, and you can share those with her in a humble way if you feel comfortable doing so.  But she probably knows them already.

So, I suggest since you have let her know how you feel, you have a couple of decisions to make.

Do you trust her when she tells you she is not "cheating"?
Is her new "behavior" worth breaking up over?

[savetrev]

What does "getting on with" at work mean? Like friendly?
Also what kind of work is it?

The modern world is all about women in tight and small clothing. It's like an internal need for attention and to look beautiful, along with going with the flow.
She sees it as normal and acceptable. You want to watch out what you say, since her mind is already there.

My thought is that you should be aware, but you need to trust. Your emotions will tell you to be jealous and get angry, but you NEED to trust her.
If she slips and cheats on you, then you have the option to take action, like take a break or break up. But she hasn't done anything yet.

Just like the other said, where are you in the relationship? Worry about your relationship. Three years is a lot. Have you talked about marriage and your future? I wouldn't push it, but you two should be on the same page.

[clark thompson]

The change of attitude is what you should be concerned with because it lead to the decision in clothing.