Is satan messing with my relationship?

[NatalieKay]

Hey everyone,

This is going to be long if you don't mind. I need to bear my soul. I've been having a hard time this last week. In order to tell you my full story, I'm going to rewind to about 10 months ago when I was recovering from an ex boyfriend (we'll call him Mike). After about 2 years, I came to find out Mike (who I believed was my soul mate) was an atheist. In the beginning he had told me that he believed that there could be a chance that there was a God. But as time passed, it became clear that he was a strong athiest and there was nothing I could say or do to make him even consider the thought that there is a God. It worked in the beginning of the relationship, but only because we didn't talk about religion. I started to realize that we could never be truly happy together because every relationship should have God at the center. Anything else won't be blessed.

Long story short, we ended up breaking up. In the months following that, I still believed that somehow I belonged with Mike. The thought entered my mind many times to pray to God to send me the man I am meant to be with, if in fact I am not meant to be with Mike. However, I never actually prayed it because I was AFRAID. I was afraid that Mike actually wasn't the one, and God would send me another man. One night, I was so sad and lonely, and confused, that I finally broke down and I prayed to God that if I'm not supposed to be with Mike, to send me who I'm supposed to be with. Only about 2 weeks passed and I met John. He was also in a "dark" place, in which he was lonely, it had been years since his last real relationship. We clicked immediately on levels I never thought were possible. We were alike in so many ways, and we both had that "i've known you forever" feeling. We talked a CRAZY amount. 5-6 hours a day at least. I felt like I could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge me. I soon found out that he has a strong faith in God. He plays in a praise band. It's kind of hard to explain, but i truly believe this is the man that God sent to me. We fell in love, I love him deeply. He feels the same way. Since we've been together we have both been blessed. John got a promotion, I got a new job. Our hearts had finally been healed.

Fast forward to about a week ago. Things were good (as far as I know). We are long distance, John lives in Illinois, and I live in Ohio. I hang out with him on skype, we talk alot. We always said that in a year and a half when he's done with school we will finally be able to be together (all the time). Last Sunday, I got a message from him that said "Hey, I love you". Then all of a sudden, on Monday, he tells me that he can't do it anymore. IT, being our long distance relationship. It was so abrupt that it was odd to me. I told him to give it a week to think about. We're currently on a break...and are gonna talk about it again next Saturday (after he has time to think).

Anyway. I've been completely broken hearted over this. I've never felt so strongly about a person in my life. I've prayed to God to let me know if he's not the one. I only end up feeling more strongly about John, and how I believe we are supposed to be together. It just hurts because now he is SO unsure. But he tells me he loves me and he can't stand the thought of never talking to me again. I talked to him on the phone today, and I said, "Just give me some hope. SOME HOPE" just so I wouldn't have to spend the next week worrying about this. But, being the honest man that he is, He said "I'm sorry, I can't". He says the distance has  "worn his heart down". I went to church tonight for our Friday night service. And it felt like the sevice was completely tailored to me. The praise band played this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM8hxE-j4T8   And for the first time this week, my heart felt like it was actually being held together. I prayed that God would help John with his decision. When I came home tonight I went into my mom's room and went over to her nightstand where she has a ton of christian books. My attention came to Joyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind". As I was reading it, it just struck me. It has to be Satan messing with our relationship. John's last girlfriend was about 3-4 years ago. He dropped out of college while he was dating her. She ended up moving away, and the distance eventually got them. He says they would have ended up breaking up anyway... so it wasn't JUST the distance. But I believe that gave him insecurities and a mindset that long distance will never work no matter who it's with. And now I believe that Satan is possibly using those insecurities to rip us apart. And why would he want to do that? Because our relationship is good. It is healing, nurturing, and loving. There is nothing bad about it.

Is it dumb to think that maybe God lead me to this book so I could tell John about it, so it'd help him? I've never believed in coincidences. And I believe we are meant to be together. I guess I just need prayer. I would love it if you could pray for us. And any advice or comments are very welcome.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, I really, really needed to vent.

-Natalie

[geronimo]

Hi Natalie,
Welcome to Grace Centered Forums. I'm just a poor dumb country boy, but there are some really sharp spiritual ladies on this site whose advice and counsel is invaluable. I'm sure you'll hear from some of them really soon. Until then, just take a deep breath and  relax. Hope your time here is a good experience for you.
Blessings.

[chosenone]

Hi Natalie

Did you met him on line? Have you ever actually met this guy in person? Been to his church? Seen him relating to his friends and family? Spent a lot of time with him? If not then that's the first step for you if he does decide to carry on. Is there any way that you could move to be nearer him or he you?Could he change colleges?

Its impossible to say if he is the guy for you or not. Only time will tell that. It may be that God is speaking to him, and it may also be that he isnt the one for you. I am not sure satan is to blame for everything of this nature, we all have free will to make our own decisions.

Just a word of advise. never date a non believer.   

[JohnDB]

Satan has no need of "messing with your relationships" as you have been doing a great job of destroying yours all by yourself.


Look, You do not need to set yourself up for failure.


And you do that every time.


If you would not concentrate on finding a "soul mate" and instead worry more about leading a life of lovingkindness and generosity towards ALL those around you your "relationship" woes would end pretty quickly. Make tons of friends you have and express a genuine interest in things will change for you.

[NatalieKay]

Thanks for your replies, anything helps. It's good to talk to other christians.

We have spoke about moving closer to eachother. But the time in between getting to see eachother is long. I know it's really hard on him. I just feel like it's possible that satan is playing on his insecurities that were put in his mind during his last relationship that "long distance will never work"....and he just freaked out. Maybe I have been reading too much "Battlefield of the mind" by Joyce Meyer.

I just feel strongly about this guy. And it was never in my mind to "find the one". I never thought God would send me the guy i'm supposed to be with. In fact, I was scared to move on from the last guy, when this man entered my life. I believe that God is giving me these strong feelings, if we aren't supposed to be together, I should feel some twinge of doubt. I've been praying to God to let me know if this isn't the guy i'm supposed to be with...but all I feel is a strong desire to be with him. We were both in a "dark" lonely place when we met. And since then, things have just gotten better and I truly believe we were being blessed in other aspects of our life.

And you are completely right, I've set myself up for failure. We both didn't keep Jesus the center of our everyday. I let priorities slip. There was a point when we were reading the bible together and praying. Something I've never done with  a boyfriend. And we kind of let that go when we got busy. Maybe if we kept that going things wouldn't have started to go bad.

[geneh_33]

I too went through much pain before I finally found the right woman at age 45.

I think that what God was trying to teach me is that I need to concentrate and focus on HIM. I finally got the message after all this time.

Matthew 6
"32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek.) For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 "Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

It is very difficult to do but we must just concentrate on Him and not worry about anything else except our relationship with Christ and His Church. If we do that then God will PERSONALLY take care of all of our needs.

I hope that helps. God bless you.

[Charming Anarchist]

Just a word of advise. never date a non believer.

Amen. 

[chosenone]

Thanks for your replies, anything helps. It's good to talk to other christians.

We have spoke about moving closer to eachother. But the time in between getting to see eachother is long. I know it's really hard on him. I just feel like it's possible that satan is playing on his insecurities that were put in his mind during his last relationship that "long distance will never work"....and he just freaked out. Maybe I have been reading too much "Battlefield of the mind" by Joyce Meyer.

I just feel strongly about this guy. And it was never in my mind to "find the one". I never thought God would send me the guy i'm supposed to be with. In fact, I was scared to move on from the last guy, when this man entered my life. I believe that God is giving me these strong feelings, if we aren't supposed to be together, I should feel some twinge of doubt. I've been praying to God to let me know if this isn't the guy i'm supposed to be with...but all I feel is a strong desire to be with him. We were both in a "dark" lonely place when we met. And since then, things have just gotten better and I truly believe we were being blessed in other aspects of our life.

And you are completely right, I've set myself up for failure. We both didn't keep Jesus the center of our everyday. I let priorities slip. There was a point when we were reading the bible together and praying. Something I've never done with  a boyfriend. And we kind of let that go when we got busy. Maybe if we kept that going things wouldn't have started to go bad.

Don't mistake your desire to be with him as Gods will. Christians have got into all sorts of wrong and unhealthy relationships that weren't Gods will for them.

[beal_01]

Some advice based upon my mistakes. 

Whatever you do don't sleep with this guy or have any type of physically intimate relationship with him.

That blessing was meant as marriage glue.. Not boyfriend / girlfriend glue.  If you have done that then your mind will be clouded and you need to dry out a bit.

God's will is easy.  It falls into place.  Humanity makes things hard.  The choices we make the sins we have lead us off of God's chosen path for us.

Your statement:
And you are completely right, I've set myself up for failure. We both didn't keep Jesus the center of our everyday. I let priorities slip. There was a point when we were reading the bible together and praying. Something I've never done with  a boyfriend. And we kind of let that go when we got busy. Maybe if we kept that going things wouldn't have started to go bad.


Yep.  Those who pray together stay together. :)

I do have to say that reading your post and replying has also helped to open my eyes a bit on my own dating situations.

Especially this one by chosenone:
>>Just a word of advise. never date a non believer.