I Didn't Mean To Blackmail My (Ex)Girlfriend With Religion

[kool_kid_86]

Living forever is like being locked up in a minimum security prison. Sure there are things to do in the prison, but after a while everything will become dull and boring as you will run out of things that are fun as you have done everything already.

I do want to know God, as it makes life much easier. Christianity adds purpose to your life, guides you, and God is like an invisible friend that will always talk to you if you listen.

My problem is that if I do believe in Jesus, then I will receive eternal life in heaven which is something I am uncomfortable with. My life is already not very great. I have great friends, great job, but I still feel lonely.

A year ago, I met this great Christian girl and we became real great friends. 7 weeks ago, we decided to go out. Things are going great but we broke up for personal reasons and because I am an atheist and she is not convinced that I am able to become a dedicated Christian but I know in my heart that I am able to because know I found someone that I truly cared about and I want to spend eternity just making her happy.

We decided to take a break so I can work out my personal issues before we take another stab at our relationship. I understand that Christianity is extremely important to her and her parents, and I do want to become a Christian too. I told her that during this time I will continue to read the bible and go to Church, but I will not convert to Christianity. In fact, only she will be able to bring me over to Christ. My reason being is that I absolutely trust her, and that I only want eternal life if she is by my side. She took it as blackmail and was very unhappy with what I said.

A bit of background information on me: My girlfriend (well, now ex) and I are both 27. I grew up in a Christian household (both my parents are Christian as well as many of my relatives). I did attend Church when I was young, but had a negative experience there so I only went to church until I was 14. I have had many un-coincidental incidents involving God (I would pray for something expecting for it to not come true but it does), which makes me think that God does answer my prayers and therefore must exist!

I guess my point is that:

• I am afraid of eternal life as my current life is very lonely. I definitely do not want to spend eternity lonely. I however believe the teachings of Christianity, and I do value the perks you get from being a Christian.
• I found a wonderful Christian girl and we both care for each other deeply. She however only wants to merry a Christian even though she has deep feelings for me.
• I told her that I will only be a Christian if she was at my side. She felt that I am trying to blackmail her, which is not my intention. My logic for saying this is because I only want to spend my eternal life with her, otherwise I would feel miserable (as I currently feel miserable as she is not by my side during our break).
• I have not told her my explanation for my decision yet because we are currently on a break, and I was afraid it would make matters worse.

What do you think of how I am approaching this relationship? I understand that it is ideal to put religion before a girlfriend, but for me I want to be with this particular girl to be with me otherwise eternal life will become a torture without her.

[chosenone]

Firstly, yes you are blackmailing her and that is very wrong and selfish. She has done totally the right thing by separating. You can only become a Christian because you know its the right thing and you know you need to be saved, not in order to win over a partner. To say that if you break up you wont be a Christian shows that you have no idea what its all about. She made a mistake by dating someone who isnt a Christian in the first place and may live to regret it. 

Secondly, heaven will not be anything like our lives now, and also eternity in hell is the only alternative. Eternal life in heaven will NOT be a torture whether she is with you or not.

You need to either really get serious about wanting to know God for yourself, or love her enough to let her go to find a Christian man.  I hope she is listening to God because she may need to make a hard decision. IF you are going to reject God if you dont get your own way, then something is very wrong. How about you go and see your pastor about this?

[gigman7]

You can't become a Christian if you are an atheist. Meaning, "while you are an atheist". You first must believe that Jesus is real and will save you.



Also, you don't just decide to become a Christian. Jesus calls on you first.

[MeMyself]

She took it as blackmail and was very unhappy with what I said.

I would have felt the very same way! What an unfair load of guilt and pressure this puts upon *her* for a decision that is only yours and your responsibility.