Wife massage

[Joe1944]

My wife received a massage from a professional man who came to our home with his own massage table.  She loved the therapeutic part of the massage.  She was mostly covered until he uncovered the part he need to see to give her a so-called happy ending (by request and permission from both of us).  He was a pro and didn't do anything he wasn't asked to do.  There was no sexual intercourse between him and my wife and he used our own electric massager to do the happy ending.  We told him to do it and I was there supervising to make sure she didn't have a problem with him.  I'd like somebody who is an expert on the bible to tell me if this was a sin.  It was only touching, no sex, he did nothing out of the way that could be considered lustful on his part (it appeared to be just another job for him and he looked pretty detached throughout the whole application of the electric massager to her) and she also had no lust in receiving the massage or happy ending as we have a blissful and happy marriage.  It was just to do something different.  So, it gets down to whether a man touching my wife by permission is sinful if it does not exactly involve sex or lust between him and her. We can only find scripture that prohibits lust, adultery (which is defined as sexual intercourse between unmarried people), etc. and in our case it was not her cheating, so can somebody with deep knowledge about this give us specific help so we can decide whether we should do this if it helps her relaxation and enhances our own sex lives by experimenting in this way?

[k-pappy]

Forgive me for being blunt, but you are trying to justify your sinful behavior by adhering to the letter of God's Word. As sex toys are not mentioned in the Bible, there are no scriptures to forbid what you did.

Also, your definition of adultery is not Biblical.  I'm not trying to judge, but we often get people here trying to justify what they already know to be sinful. 

If I have misjudged you, than I would ask your forgiveness and I would also encourage you to talk to your pastor about what occurred and get his advice.

[AVZ]

My wife received a massage from a professional man who came to our home with his own massage table.  She loved the therapeutic part of the massage.  She was mostly covered until he uncovered the part he need to see to give her a so-called happy ending (by request and permission from both of us).  He was a pro and didn't do anything he wasn't asked to do.  There was no sexual intercourse between him and my wife and he used our own electric massager to do the happy ending.  We told him to do it and I was there supervising to make sure she didn't have a problem with him.  I'd like somebody who is an expert on the bible to tell me if this was a sin.  It was only touching, no sex, he did nothing out of the way that could be considered lustful on his part (it appeared to be just another job for him and he looked pretty detached throughout the whole application of the electric massager to her) and she also had no lust in receiving the massage or happy ending as we have a blissful and happy marriage.  It was just to do something different.  So, it gets down to whether a man touching my wife by permission is sinful if it does not exactly involve sex or lust between him and her. We can only find scripture that prohibits lust, adultery (which is defined as sexual intercourse between unmarried people), etc. and in our case it was not her cheating, so can somebody with deep knowledge about this give us specific help so we can decide whether we should do this if it helps her relaxation and enhances our own sex lives by experimenting in this way?

Rubbish post.
If you really want guidance on this you would have posted this question before you did the massage.

[chosenone]

To bring another person into your sex life in anyway is dangerous and and asking for trouble. What does it matter if he was lusting after her or not, he was seeing her body and seeing her have an orgasm(which he gave!!!). I cant believe you even have to ask, but the fact that you have asked, shows that you arent at peace about it.
If you were serious about following God I doubt you would even consider this. I would never let another man give me a massage nor my husband a female giving him one, let alone the last part.    You both need to do some serious praying and repenting in my view, and  ask God why you dont seem bothered that another man was intimate with your wife(because he was), and why she thinks its ok for another man to do this to her at all, let alone in front of her husband. 

Dont give us the old 'it helps her relax and enhances our sex like'. If she HAS to have a massage then she can get a lady to do it, there are plenty of female masseurs, or you can, and people have used that excuse of 'it enhances our sex life' as an a excuse to do all sort of sinful things such as watching porn, or bringing others into their sex life, or swinging, and numerous other things. It doesn't wash in my view.



IF you are really so naive, how about you ask some of your close Christian friends what they think, or as Bond says, see your pastor? I suspect you wouldnt want them to know would you. 

[Red Baker]

My wife received a massage from a professional man who came to our home with his own massage table.  She loved the therapeutic part of the massage.  She was mostly covered until he uncovered the part he need to see to give her a so-called happy ending (by request and permission from both of us).  He was a pro and didn't do anything he wasn't asked to do.  There was no sexual intercourse between him and my wife and he used our own electric massager to do the happy ending

To be honest~this is sickening and no Christian should think on these things, so I stop just where I ended my post. "Happy ending"~I am sure God will not agree.

[Rella]

For the life of me I simply cannot understand why you enjoyed watching your wife
being satisfied this way and did not desire to do that to her yourself.

A large mirror would have allowed you to watch as well as partake.

And to be blunt about this I would almost bet that you got yourself aroused, ( most likely to the point of self touching?)

Then this smacks of a form of pornography and that is a sin. It is sexual immorality at the very least.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

Forgetting the question of 'sin or no' for a minute... how are you not horribly emasculated by being cuckolded that way?  You consented to having your wife essentially hire a gigolo, and watch him give her orgasms. 

[chosenone]

I would be interested in whose idea this was, and where you actually found this man who essentially does 'relief' massages. 

[DaveW]

We can only find scripture that prohibits lust, adultery (which is defined as sexual intercourse between unmarried people), etc. and in our case it was not her cheating,

You need to adjust your definitions. 

"Adultery" is NOT sex between unmarrieds.  Indeed the base words used (Hebrew and Greek) indicate a violation of covenant.  In this case it is the marriage covenant; so that excludes unmarrieds from the definition.

Adultery is sexual contact with someone OTHER than your spouse.  Your wife let a man, OTHER than you, stimulate her to a sexual orgasm. That fits the definition of adultery quite well. You were a party to that decision so you are equally guilty.

Now I do understand that this proceedure has been done by doctors from about 400 bc to about 1900 ad to treat a malady called "hysteria" by the father of western medicine Hypocrates.  It was not understood until the turn of the last century that this was actually a sex act. God may (or may not) have overlooked those 2+ millenia of ignorance, but you and her BOTH know this was a sexual release. So you cannot say you were ignorant of the sexual connection.

It was adultery, plain and simple; just as much as if they had done full intercourse.

[Mere Nick]

Well, I guess there are massages, and then there are massages.

[JGPS100]

Well, he literally uncovered her nakedness.  We find a lot of scripture prohibiting that outside of licit relationships. This one is pretty clean cut.