Re: out of control children and ZERO punishments Cont'd from Prayer Requests

[gwen]

I know it's been a VERY long time... with all of this mess, I haven't had much time for myself, or anything else. I just wanted to see if I could get some suggestions to what has become a truly dire situation.

The children are all 2 years older now. My sister's children are good kids and doing VERY well in school, which I'm even more convinced now is due at least in part to clear cut rules, discipline when appropriate and forgiveness when appropriate.

My sister's boyfriend's children, however, are even more unruly, and awful. The boy refuses to spend ANY time with his father, even away from this house as long as I'm living here. His daughter has taken to downloading and printing out pornography (most of it lesbian), dressing with "everything" hanging out and showing, throwing public fits and abusing her mother so she can spend more time with her father. Meanwhile, he doesn't seem to have as much "interest" in her as he did before my sister put her foot down and said the daughter would no longer be allowed to sleep with her naked father, as 10 years old is finally too old for that. Which, by the way lasted all of two weeks because my sister doesn't know how to say "No" to anyone who's persistent. So yeah, the kid is back in the bed most of the time and my sister "hopes" he will put on SOME clothing when she's there. 

His daughter is STILL stealing things and lying about it, ALL of the rest of us are locking up our valuables in locked boxes, and I don't even take a shower without locking my bedroom door, as I realized that things would be missing and/or broken when I would get out of the shower. I am not allowed to speak to her, NOT ONE WORD (it's been at least 2 years). So she went so long without brushing her teeth that she needed TWO root canals, some teeth removed, and multiple cavities filled. She has long, unkempt hair that goes without any kind of brushing for weeks at a time because NO one, not even my sister is allowed to tell her to brush or comb it. She's gone without a shower or any kind of bathing for so long that she not only smells bad, but she got patches of some kind of weird skin fungus. Her underwear - which she shoved under the bathroom sink so she wouldn't have to wash them - had OBVIOUSLY not been changed in weeks, as well. She's wearing the same clothes that she wore 2 years ago, having grown at LEAST 3 sizes since then, saying that they "Finally fit sexy" (remember, she's only 10 years old now). She eats nothing but junk food and eats all day and night long, without anyone telling her she shouldn't, and gorges on candies and sweets, with the same unmonitored, unsupervised gusto of a kindergartener whose been deprived of them for months.

By the way, she's a lot shorter, but "bigger" than our 14 year old! All of her bad eating and sleeping habits have caused her to gain at LEAST 60lbs since her father moved in. She thinks it's "cool" that she's bigger than the taller, older girl.

This whole situation is insane, and MOST of it comes down to the boyfriend, his daughter, and my sister, who just kept threatening to throw me out if I didn't just suck it up and not tell anyone.

Thankfully, in the last few months, her boyfriend got SO upset that his son wouldn't even come over when I was gone out of town for 3 weeks (his suggestion so he COULD spend time with his son), he told my sister to pay me what she owes me for the last 2 years when she gets her tax return, so I can get out. I no longer have the threat of being thrown out - I'm leaving and the only way I would come back here is if somebody drug my dead body back!

Still, I have genuine concerns about my sister's kids in this twisted situation. How are they going to deal with all of it when they won't even have any adult to help them. And his daughter is such a bully, she'll have them all doing whatever she wants in no time.

And even ALL of this, is not the worst of it. But that's why I'm going to get authorities involved the day I leave. It's just way too much, and WAY too twisted. I can't imagine what might happen without legal intervention.

Anyway, it's still a few weeks away to getting the money and ALL of us are antsy. The kids can't wait to run amuck with his daughter because that'll make her happy and a lot easier for them to get along with, and she can't wait because then there won't be ANY adult supervision, and my sister can't wait because her boyfriend can't wait, and even I can't wait because I can finally let people know what's going on here without the threat of losing what little I have left.

Anybody have any suggestions on how to spend these last few weeks? I'm trying to leave things on a positive note with my sister's kids. It's hard to do because I'm the ONLY disciplinarian in the house and they are constantly pushing the boundaries, as kids do and the other two "adults" are constantly undermining my efforts. It's not an "easy" situation. I can't imagine the kids trying to deal with all of it on their own, and with the added burden of taking on ALL of the chores around the house and taking care of their mother, too! But that's exactly what will happen. She's already talked about it... how her daughter is "old enough" to do everything around the house that needs to be done and how the boys can help her. Of course, the other girl won't lift a finger, never has, never does, and no one will be allowed to even ask her to so no one will. And her father won't help, either. In the 2 years he's been here he's taken the trash out twice and washed HIS plate three times... two of those times I was sick and ordered to bed rest, and he complained about it the whole time.

I wish I could just leave already, or stay in bed all day and night, like my sister and her boyfriend do. But I can't. I also wish I could just take the kids with me, or at least take them on a vacation for the remainder of my stay. Oh well. One thing's for certain - I CAN'T leave them in this place.

God bless, All. Thank you SO much for your prayers, I know they've helped.

gwen

[chosenone]

Well I think you should have got out 2 years ago but better late than never . IN the meantime write a detailed account of what goes on there to give to the authorities.