Oral Sex

[LexKnight]

A good friend of mine worded it this way, and I agree. Don't bring another into it, and nothing as obscured as BTSM, but beyond that... whatever a consenting husband and wife decides to do with each other in their own bed, it should be their decision. If one couple don't want to try a bj, it's entirely up to them and they shouldn't have to. If another choose to get more intimate that way, it's their bed and they have that choice.

Have you guys ever read Song of Solomon?

How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins. Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus. Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries. How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

You can't tell me the lover here don't intend to have fun with his wife's body. I see oral sex as another part of that, it's another means for a wife to be intimate with her husband, and vice versa.

Let me ask a question. If a husband visits a wife at work, and the wife decides to unbutton a bit to show her body, but she does it in such a way where only her husband sees and no one else, would you consider that sin against her? She did tease, but she teased her own husband.

[johndoo]

Regarding intercourse during the menstrual period, I certainly know about these instructions in the old testament under Jewish law, but do not find them binding for new testament believers.

[RB]

Regarding intercourse during the menstrual period, I certainly know about these instructions in the old testament under Jewish law, but do not find them binding for new testament believers.

There are certain laws under Moses that are not blinding upon NT Christians~such as the dietary laws, which based upon Acts 10 only stood until the reformation period of the apostles.  But, there are many laws/commandments under Moses that will forever stand as a perfect rule of righteousness for saints to live by~and approaching a woman that is unclean are one of them.  The dietary laws represent the Gentiles who were unclean for the Jewish people because of their wickedness, yet under the New Covenant, God has brought them into the fold of Jesus Christ, thereby, what God has cleansed, no man can call unclean....not so with a woman during her menstrual period~she is unclean during that period of time, and temperance must be used to abstain from them.  There will be times when intercourse will cause a woman to start, and God knows that, and no sin is committed, yet going in unto a woman during that time is an act of uncleanness, and God is not pleased when this occurs...it IS sin.

[DaveW]

Regarding intercourse during the menstrual period, I certainly know about these instructions in the old testament under Jewish law, but do not find them binding for new testament believers.

In Acts 15 the apostles handed down a decision from God for gentile New Covenant believers - 4 prohibitions that are binding. 

One of them, usually rendered "fornication" or "sexual immorality," is pornia in the Greek.  My own research (and later I found a few commentators who agree) says that pornia was used in the diaspora Jewish community to mean anything that violated Torah sexual prohibitions; and that would include sex during menses.

[Gentleman One]

Oral sex and sex in general isn't done for its primary purpose any more. The youth of today (this is where I'm old fashioned) are obsessed with sex and oral sex; I went to college with someone who had around 16 different sexual partners; this is a monstrous amount as she wasn't 21 at the time I don't think and unmarried.
People can't wait to have sex and oral sex nowadays and I find that troubling; also people having sex and children is happing at a younger age.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

There was a scientific study done that shows that arousal reduces the capacity for revulsion.

So, what you find revolting in the light of day, may not seem quite so gross behind closed doors.

Jarrod

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

I believe your phrase "borrowing from the world" is revealing and accurate. I've never seen anything in scripture directly pointing to this subject. I would say what a married couple does behind closed doors is between them and God. At the same time, I can't see God giving permission to do so. It would be easy for some to see it as perversion.

It seems each generation that comes finds less perversion in oral sex. Whatever it is, one should pray about it before indulging.

depends on how one interpret the Songs of Solomon

but according to some, there is inferences of wife giving her husband oral and enjoy him that way......

but either way, God gave us His word so we know where the boundaries are.

if God did not say anything on the matter

and He allows intimacy between husbands and wives

I don't see problems with it.

[Gentleman One]

There was a scientific study done that shows that arousal reduces the capacity for revulsion.

So, what you find revolting in the light of day, may not seem quite so gross behind closed doors.

Jarrod

Interesting. 

[A4J]

Thank you Solomon

[Yahu]

Husband's are commanded to 'love their wives'.  A part of fulfilling that requirement is meeting her sexual needs.  It is your duty to please your wife to the best of your ability.

Scripture also states that the 'marriage bed is undefiled'.  Nothing is forbidden when it comes to your sexual acts to please a spouse out of your love for them.

[Dave_UK]

For many women intercourse does not bring them to orgasm, extra means of clitoral stimulation is necessary for them by another method. That said I certainly could not deprive my wife of that satisfaction, we would need to mutually discuss this and make efforts to accommodate each other.

Before my wife and I got married (back in !970!) we both read a very helpful book on the intimate side of marriage.  In that, as a prelude to full copulation the book suggested men caress their partner's body gradually moving down to the more intimate parts. Then men were urged to spend some time gently "dipping" a finger into their partner's vagina entrance - like dipping an old style pen into an inkwell - and then transfer the (now wet) finger across to the clitoris and massage it gently for a while, then "dip" the finger back into the vagina again, to get more fluid for lubrication. Keep on repeating this several times, till one's partner is sufficiently excited and wants to proceed with full male penetration.  In the following mutual pelvic thrusting action, there is normally little contact with the clitoris (the hand gets in the way!) - so the ladies excitement may wane a bit - before both experience mutual orgasm. 


The idea of placing one's mouth down at one's partner's "privates" seems disgusting to me, and happily my wife never mentioned it - "but it takes all sorts to make a world!"

I don't want to sound "prissy" shooting off my mouth about something that my wife and I ceased being "interested in" a long time ago due to mutual physical problems (i.e. my incurable erectile dysfunction due to prostate resection problems - on strong medication after heart surgery, and my wife's affliction - a failed remedial op for a bad bowel prolapse/bleeding haemorrhoids. She has enough problems down in that lower area even if I was "potent" - I am 81 and she is 74 now - so it's been some 25 years since we last had "intimate contact"!)

I usually skip over "The Song of Songs" when doing my Bible readings - let's face it, the love of many foreign women was Solomon's downfall - led astray by them!  (There are a few other places in the Bible that I find a "strain" when I come back to them as part of my cyclic re-reading of different sections - Psalm 119 is one of them , IMO rather OTT - but maybe that's what it will be like in heaven, endless exuberant praise, and gratitude for being admitted to that place of absolute purity!  Don't forget what Jesus said about men and women in heaven - "They do not marry, but are like the angels", so sensual passion is "out" fellas!    My wife reads out Christian books aloud for our mutual edification - and one she read some months ago, described a young army chap's "testimony" in which he died from pneumonia - "temporally"  - and became disconnected from his body.  He described being transported to various places, in one of which people were trying to "make love" - but were frustratingly disappointed that there was no physical sensation whatever.  In another place the people were fighting each other - but again, there was no physical injury or harm done to one another!  A sobering thought if the "after-life" is like that - no physical sensation of any contact with others!

As a footnote, I'll tell you about something I saw years ago, while taking my previous little dog for walkies around the edges of a big recreation ground.  You know how we love and care for our pets - but sometimes they do things that are natural to them, but disgusting to us! (I wonder if the Lord loves us in a greater but similar way - and we often do things that disgust Him "Whose eye is too pure to look upon iniquity.")  I saw 2 unattended dogs, one obviously a male and the other a bitch, the bitch was probably "on heat" and stood with a hind leg raised to allow the male dog better access to lick her private parts - oral sex and all that!  I know we are physically part of the animal kingdom - but are supposed to be governed by a reasoning and more considerate mind, supposedly not at the mercy of "base" passions - so that's why I feel a sense of disgust at human oral sex, cunnilingus, fellatio and blow-jobs or whatever it's called! (Doesn't the Bible tell us "Those who belong to Christ have crucified the lower nature with it's passions and desires.")  I would have thought that basic hygiene principles, would have kept people from running unnecessary risks of a bad throat infection or worse.

[Dave_UK]

A "Parthian Shot" after my previous post - some points to consider : -

(1) As a 15 year old apprentice/engineering student in a massive Dockyard factory - where the language was mainly one of lewd profanity - the communal toilet cubicles had walls and door paintwork "decorated" with (what as a Christian I now call lewd) doggerel verses (amusing to me at the time) and crude "sketches" of men and women engaged in various sexual practices - e.g oral sex etc, so it didn't take long to corrupt me!  A few years later after the furore over Lawrence's book "Lady Chatterley's Lover" died down, out of curiosity I got a copy, and in it came across the telling phrase "The Freemasonry of Filth" - the common "dirt" that in general, we men at times sn****r about!

(2) Later when I became a Christian, I heard of a pastor ministering to some lady for resolution of problems which she had.  The Holy Spirit gave the shocked pastor a "mental picture" of a man's erect penis in front of the woman's open mouth!

(3) I was surprised to see in a TV program about some artifacts from an early civilization (can't remember if it was Sumerian or Ancient Greece), a small figurine of a woman - but strangely different as the program presenter pointed out.  Instead of a horizontal marking to indicate the mouth, - there was a vertical one representing the labia each side of a woman's vagina!  So there's nothing new about oral sex!


I don't believe the Lord approves of, or is pleased, with such behaviour.  It is putting "self-pleasing" (or possibly "pleasuring" one's partner) before communion with Him, and may invite demonic oppression, because it is (arguably?) not in the Lord's "ordinances" for us.  OK so it's not mentioned explicitly in Scripture - but does the Holy Spirit indicate it's OK, or is there a "suspicious" silence about it? The Lord is jealous of mis-spent time/activities "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"! It smacks to me of what early Baal worship might have included - a people paying more attention to sexual matters than was good for them. At our final judgement, imagine our horror/shame if such activities (and other wrong actions) we had indulged in during our time here, are re-played on a "giant celestial TV screen" for the redeemed to see!

[Dave_UK]

I have already in an earlier post, having seen a male dog licking the genitalia of a bitch dog, commented on the separation between the behaviour of beasts and Man.  One could take that a step further : -

I understand that in some (early?) cultures the so-called "missionary posture" for copulation has not always been the norm, and that some men achieved vaginal penetration in the same way as beasts (a man's front bent over woman's back - similar to homosexual anal penetration)!  I cannot believe that this is God's good plan for us, and although the Scriptures do not explicitly mention such matters, there are clear guidelines that we ought to follow - am thinking of Paul's advice :-

"...This is the will of God, that you should be holy. You must abstain from fornication, each one must learn to master and hallow his body, not giving way to lust like the pagans who are ignorant of God..."

If one cannot "hear" the correcting/leading voice of the Holy Spirit - because one has become "dull of hearing" due to continually ignoring "the still small voice" - then one is in big trouble.  Remember the continual practice of something can breed addiction - and if that something is not "proper", we run the risk of opening a "portal" for the dark forces that seek to draw us away from the Lord and destroy our lives!