Oral Sex

[e.r.m.]

Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

[Buster D Body Crab]

Are you married?

[e.r.m.]

About to be.

[Jason_NC]

If you both enjoy it, by all means, indulge.  After you are married.

It is my belief that any mutually consented activity between husband and wife is acceptable.

[Charlie24]

Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

I believe your phrase "borrowing from the world" is revealing and accurate. I've never seen anything in scripture directly pointing to this subject. I would say what a married couple does behind closed doors is between them and God. At the same time, I can't see God giving permission to do so. It would be easy for some to see it as perversion.

It seems each generation that comes finds less perversion in oral sex. Whatever it is, one should pray about it before indulging.

[Texas Conservative]

Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

If it is not specifically authorized, I would not do it.  Everyone knows that oral sex leads to instrumental use in worship and the denigrating of baptism.   

[Jaime]

We had a guest speaker a few years ago that did a series of sermons on the sexual symbolism in the Song of Solomon, including oral sex symbolism.

[JohnDB70X7]

Strictly forbidden!

[JohnDB70X7]

Jaime said:
"We had a guest speaker a few years ago that did a series of sermons on the sexual symbolism in the Song of Solomon, including oral sex symbolism."

Was the speaker ever invited back?

[e.r.m.]

Thank you all for both the deep and funny responses.

[Jaime]

The speaker was well received. i wish I could remember his name. He had written a book on the subject.

[e.r.m.]

Charlie24,
                 I think if my parents found out that marrieds did this in church and it was condoned, they would run out from that church traumatized.

[e.r.m.]

I also apologize to everyone for my absence. I've had no time and after I'm married, I may still have no time. You may hear from me from time to time, but I think my strong presence days are over.

[fish153]

e.r.m. said--

>>>I think if my parents found out that marrieds did this in church and it was condoned, they would run out from that church traumatized.<<

I think a lot of people would be traumatized. Oral sex should definitely not be done in church, but should only be done privately at home.

[Red Baker]

I also apologize to everyone for my absence. I've had no time and after I'm married, I may still have no time. You may hear from me from time to time, but I think my strong presence days are over.

That's what married life does Edward...But, then again, you should for one years spend as much as time you can with your wife and CHEER her up, including whatsoever you both enjoy in the marriage bed, it is undefiled before God.

[DaveW]

Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

The Song of Solomon describes oral sex several times (in a positive light).  Usually it is on her (2.16, 5.18, 6.3) but one instance is on him. (4.11)

So AFAICT, biblically it is ok.  But whether you so enjoy or not is up to the 2 of you.  Talk about it.

It seems each generation that comes finds less perversion in oral sex. Whatever it is, one should pray about it before indulging.

Each generation?  How many generations have there been since 900 bc?

[Buster D Body Crab]

About to be.

Hey, congratulations! 
One of the greatest gifts each person can bring to the marriage is the trust that each is respected by the other for their open honest communication with one another.
Talk to her about this. Ask her how she feels.
Are you a virgin?
I ask because you said you find the idea of oral disgusting. Idea. I take that to mean you've not had the experience.



Also, my advice from years of marriage, never go to bed angry with one another. Resolve any disputes before you go to sleep. Harboring upset can be like a seed that germinates in the quiet and blossoms into ugly weeds that spew themselves next time an argument comes up and those past acts or unresolved issues then get regurgitated because they weren't settled last time.
"Yeah? Well, what about that time when you...." Like that. It's ugly and it's baggage that can pile up and crush a lot of things in a couple.

My wife and I learned this when we were dating and talked about what went wrong in our other long term relationships. We've been together for a very long time, married for a shorter period than the best friendship span of time, so we have a deep awareness of who we are as friends first. Which for us is a perfect evolution toward marriage. Best friends entering into something more intimate.

Just throwing that in there.


Per the Solomon scriptures and a pastor speaking to the oral sex contained in those, the only thing of that nature I'm aware of is a video I saw on YT featuring a presentation on the subject by now former pastor Mark Driscoll.

[e.r.m.]

Fish153,
You know what I mean, lol.

Red Baker,
Thank you.

[e.r.m.]

Buster D Body Crab,
I'm not a virgin, but my ex wife and I both agreed we didn't like the idea. Its just my constitution. I can't tolerate the thought, and I can't understand how anybody else can either.

Thank you for the advice.

[e.r.m.]

DaveW,
I will look at those verses, thank you. I was advised by a brother in church to pray about that revulsion.

[Alan]

Just curious e.r.m. but have you ever discussed this with your wife to be? Perhaps inappropriate conversation, but I wonder how she feels about this topic.

[Buster D Body Crab]

Buster D Body Crab,
I'm not a virgin, but my ex wife and I both agreed we didn't like the idea. Its just my constitution. I can't tolerate the thought, and I can't understand how anybody else can either.

Thank you for the advice.

As I mentioned earlier, have a discussion with your fiancée and know her honest feelings first. If you're not on the same page about sex it can be an issue later on when passions in the marriage take over.

Do you like to receive oral? Or is it simply a matter of you don't imagine ourself giving?

[DaveW]

Just curious e.r.m. but have you ever discussed this with your wife to be? Perhaps inappropriate conversation, but I wonder how she feels about this topic.

Not inappropriate by any means.  In fact NOT talking about it would be inappropriate. 

This often elicits strong feelings and should be discussed WELL before the "I DOs"

[DaveW]

DaveW,
I will look at those verses, thank you. I was advised by a brother in church to pray about that revulsion.

Good.  Remember the passages are couched in 3000 year old metaphores.

I hope you guys went thru some rather invasive premarital counseling. Esp since you were married before.

I agree with that bro.  It may indicate some other underlying issue that you will want to get resolved.

[e.r.m.]

Alan & Buster D Body Crab,
we did discuss it before, and we were both on the same page before, but she seems to be moving away from that position and seems more willing to explore such things. We'll have to discuss this again. I don't like either receiving or giving. I know in this generation, it may seem weird not to want to do that, it's almost expected to be done, but I can't help how I feel.

[e.r.m.]

DaveW,
             It used to be that when people found oral sex repugnant, that was normal and expected. I don't think it's an internal issue. I just don't think the human mouth belongs down there. I overheard heard a woman at work voice the same opinion (years ago). I don't think this is abnormal. It's just some people like it and others don't.

[DaveW]

wow the quote thingy stopped woriking again ......3

DaveW,
             It used to be that when people found oral sex repugnant, this was normal and expected. I don't think it's an internal issue. I just don't think the human mouth belongs down there. I overheard heard a woman at work voice the same opinion (years ago). I don't think this is abnormal. It's just some people like it and others don't.

No - I get that.  But not everyone from our generation felt that way. I certainly don't. 

But I would spend some time in prayer to MAKE SURE that it is just that.  And DO PLEASE talk to her.
If she really wants it and you are   EWWWW!!! YUCK!!!    it will cause problems.

[Alan]

For many women intercourse does not bring them to orgasm, extra means of clitoral stimulation is necessary for them by another method. That said I certainly could not deprive my wife of that satisfaction, we would need to mutually discuss this and make efforts to accommodate each other. 

[e.r.m.]

DaveW and Alan,
Yes, I'm aware there was variety in the older generations also. I will spend time in prayer over the situation. I will definitely look for other ways to stimulate her clitoris. I'm hoping that we will be able to do so without oral sex, but I will still be praying about that. Thank you both.

[Link]

Texas Conservative,

If it is not specifically authorized, I would not do it.  Everyone knows that oral sex leads to instrumental use in worship and the denigrating of baptism.

Now that is a caricature of the theological position of some of the posters in this forum.  The accurate way of applying this form of reasoning is to forbid these activities during church meetings.

[Link]

I don't see where the Bible mentions it clearly.  Some people say it is in the song of Solomon, the wife's navel being like a goblet full of mixed wine, or the woman eating from Solomon's apple tree.  I'm not completely convinced either way.

But I don't see where it is forbidden.  If a couple can do this without sinning against their conscience, and they are rightly married, I'm not going to say it's wrong.

The idea of eating bodily fluids is gross to me, but that doesn't necessarily have to occur.

[Texas Conservative]

Texas Conservative,

If it is not specifically authorized, I would not do it.  Everyone knows that oral sex leads to instrumental use in worship and the denigrating of baptism.

Now that is a caricature of the theological position of some of the posters in this forum.  The accurate way of applying this form of reasoning is to forbid these activities during church meetings.

It was meant to be a caricature.

[Texas Conservative]

Buster D Body Crab,
I'm not a virgin, but my ex wife and I both agreed we didn't like the idea. Its just my constitution. I can't tolerate the thought, and I can't understand how anybody else can either.

Thank you for the advice.

You have an ex wife?  What is the ICOC position on MDR?

[Texas Conservative]

I don't see where the Bible mentions it clearly.  Some people say it is in the song of Solomon, the wife's navel being like a goblet full of mixed wine, or the woman eating from Solomon's apple tree.  I'm not completely convinced either way.

But I don't see where it is forbidden.  If a couple can do this without sinning against their conscience, and they are rightly married, I'm not going to say it's wrong.

The idea of eating bodily fluids is gross to me, but that doesn't necessarily have to occur.

I hope you don't "french kiss."  If so, you are eating bodily fluids as well.

[Buster D Body Crab]

I don't see where the Bible mentions it clearly.  Some people say it is in the song of Solomon, the wife's navel being like a goblet full of mixed wine, or the woman eating from Solomon's apple tree.  I'm not completely convinced either way.

But I don't see where it is forbidden.  If a couple can do this without sinning against their conscience, and they are rightly married, I'm not going to say it's wrong.

The idea of eating bodily fluids is gross to me, but that doesn't necessarily have to occur.

Unless a dental dam is used by the woman in oral cop. , the man is going to 'eat' bodily fluids if he gives her oral. Which is to say, sans the dental dam, 'eating' bodily fluids does occur.
And it is true, if someone French kisses they're also exchanging bodily fluids, i.e. saliva.