Is sex prior marriage a sin against your current and/or future spouse?

[PDW1982]

My name is Preston. I am a 33 year old single Christian, and police detective in a larger police department/city in TN. The environment and culture of a police department, while I believe we indeed do God's work, feels godless on most all days. When I say that, I am not speaking in particular about the suspects and criminal element. I am speaking of the police culture itself. While this is not a blanket statement, the vast majority of officers are not Christians, and even the ones who claim to be are carnal and essentially play it fast and loose. The primary horrors of this are sexual immorality, ie casual sex, living in sin, and unfortunately, terrible instances of adultery among other issues. In a conversation with a former police officer just the other day, I was discussing the importance of waiting until marriage and your spouse for sex. While this young lady, who now professes to be a born again Christian (with an unfortunate sexual past) agreed that it was good in general to wait until marriage until sex, we disagreed on what I consider a heartbreaking and foundational issue. She stated that while she understands that her numerous and adulteress sexual encounters were sinful, she maintained that she did not believe that those sexual sins were sins against her husband if she were to ever marry. Although difficult to swallow and process, I still know those sins are forgivable in God's eyes despite the challenges that ential. However, I strongly believe the contrary regarding whether they are a sin against a spouse once married. Am I correct in my belief that having sex prior to marriage, especially outside of your future spouse, is a sin against them and the sanctity of marriage? If I am correct, can you please provide me with biblical foundation that I maybe missing for this conviction? Again, my question is, is having sex prior to marriage an offense/sin (albeit forgivable) against a future or current spouse? I would like to be able to better articulate the consequences and communicate the sin based off biblical teachings to this young lady and other lukewarm and lost officers. Thank you very much. I look forward to hearing from you.

Hoping this finds the proper resource. Thank you.

Sincerely,

               Preston

[LexKnight]

I do believe they are, specifically if you say you know the Lord. If anything, she seems confused... But if it's prior to knowing the Lord... you've been cleansed, ya know? So it wouldn't be.

[k-pappy]

It is a sin against God, but not the future spouse.  Unless the individual lies about it. 

If the individual is open about his or her past, then it is up to the potential spouse as to whether or not he or she can accept that past, but events that happen before someone meets his or her future spouse cannot be considered a sin against that future spouse.

[chosenone]

Well you are taking something away from your future spouse if you do this, and some people may not be able to trust or marry a person who has had multiple partners, so you may even find it hard to meet a Christian to marry. If she is a born again Christian who is still acting this way, then why?
God says its wrong and a sin, so surely thats enough? 

[RB]

It is a sin against God, but not the future spouse.

Agreed~now, if a person is interested in a person, then they at that point must decide if they are willing to accept that person and not to pry into their past and leave their past alone. If they feel that they cannot live with a person who may have been too sexual involved with one or more persons, then do not get involve with such a person. A person past is just that PAST. God does not bring up our past, why should we expect others to do so to us?  This is unmerciful and so un-Christ like! If one wants a virgin, then find one.  Leave others for people who are more merciful and forgiven.  BUT, you very well may miss out on a godly women, who would love you and serve you until death do you part.   

[chosenone]

It is a sin against God, but not the future spouse.

Agreed~now, if a person is interested in a person, then they at that point must decide if they are willing to accept that person and not to pry into their past and leave their past alone. If they feel that they cannot live with a person who may have been too sexual involved with one or more persons, then do not get involve with such a person. A person past is just that PAST. God does not bring up our past, why should we expect others to do so to us?  This is unmerciful and so un-Christ like! If one wants a virgin, then find one.  Leave others for people who are more merciful and forgiven.  BUT, you very well may miss out on a godly women, who would love you and serve you until death do you part.

Trouble is that these things may not come out for some time into the relationship, or even after the marriage if the one who did this is not wanting to loose the other person and is hiding it.  I do think its very important that each knows the others past and doesnt keep any dark secrets because that is marrying in deception. What we do before we meet our spouse very much spiritually affects us and them and our marriage, so its important that each is aware of any sexual past, especially if its one of multiple sexual partners as is the norm these days in the world.