Squirrels

[Nevertheless]

The Squirrels
=============

Three churches in town were overrun with squirrels.

After much prayer, the elders of the first church determined
that the animals were predestined to be there.  Who were they to
interfere with God's will?
They did nothing, and the squirrels multiplied.

The elders of the second church, deciding that they could not
harm any of God's creatures, humanely trapped the squirrels and
then set them free outside of town.
Three days later the squirrels were back.

It was only the third church that succeeded in keeping the
squirrels away.  The elders of this church simply baptized the
squirrels and registered them as members of the church.

Now, they only see the squirrels on Christmas and Easter.

[boringoldguy]

How do you catch them to dunk them?

Our part of the world was blissfully squirrel-free until about 5 years ago,  when some moron caught some up north and released them because they were "cute."

Fortunately,  they haven't gotten too bad.    We don't have a whole lot of trees,  and they seem not to like the climate that much.

[Annie]

We used to have a large blow-up pool in my back yard two years ago.  It would fill up with rain water, and the squirrels would try to get a drink or something and drown themselves.  I had to go out and fish them out of there and dispose of them.  Gross.  They're not the brightest animal. :p

[segell]

Squirrels - bushy tailed rats, aren't they?

[Annie]

The squirrels in my neighborhood are always under attack by crows.  They are so loud and mean.  They attack the little birds as well.  Does anyone no how I could get rid of the crows without getting rid of the other animals.  They're ugly, and I like the squirrels.

[boringoldguy]

Perhaps some bigger and meaner bird,  like a hawk or a hoot owl.

Around here,  grackles (which are like crows but not as big) are a real problem,  but neighborhoods where the local wild parrots roost don't have them.   The parrots invade the nests and bite off the baby grackles' heads.

Or, if you have tolerant neighbors,   you could just shoot them. (I'm kidding about this.   Somebody would call the police on you unless you live in the country.)

I once new an old lady,  a member of our church,  who wanted to get the grackles out of her garden.  This lady,  who was about 95 at the time,  managed to catch a grackle in a home-made trap.   She then tied it to her fence for a day and left it there to squawk and screech,  and then let it go.    The grackles didn't return to her yard for about a year.

[Annie]

I wonder if cats would help.  
I was shootting out my attic window when I was a teenager, with a bibi gun.  The neighbor yelled at me not to shot his birds anymore.  He thought they were his birds if they flew over his yard.  I could shoot at them with a gun like that, not kill them, but then again it's probably not legal in the city.  Oh well, I guess I'll have to put up with them and their annoying squawking.  :angry:

[Bon Voyage]

Put antacid in some bread for the birds.

[Mere Nick]

My mother has Ahlzheimer's.  In the early stages she developed an intense fear of squirrels.

We would take turns staying with her for about the first year and a half until she needed the pros.  A couple of times she woke my brother up and would whisper to him that there was a squirrel in the yard.  She would be looking over her shoulder sometimes to see if it was getting close.

Squirrels are real common here in WNC.  There's always a few in my yard.  One of the deacons at church recently cooked up and ate one that he hit with his car.

Where we used to live we had a squirrel or two get in the attic.  For enclosed spaces like that,  take a handful of moth balls and wrap them in cheese cloth.  Do this a few times and spread thm out in the enclosed area.  The squirrels will get fed up with the odor and leave.

Squirrels are cool.  I don't know anything about those grackles that BOG was talking about, but it appears that the parrots need Grackle Sensitivity Training.

[Bon Voyage]

Don't people from Kentucky make squirrel brain stew?

[Mere Nick]

Don't people from Kentucky make squirrel brain stew?

Seems that would take a whole mess o' squirrels to make.

[AmandaD]

Don't people from Kentucky make squirrel brain stew?

Hey, now!  I know that was directed at me!

Not that I'm denying it...

YUMMY!!!   :eating:  :eating:  :eating:





just kidding, guys!