Married Men that struggle with sexual sin

[lk315]

I have been married for 17 years and love my wife. I stopped believing in God about 8 years ago and when I did it really opened the door to porn, strip clubs, massage parlors and even prostitutes on 2 occasions. I told myself then that its not cheating if I dont have a relationship with them or care about them its just sex.

I have recently come back to Christ and really want to change but I keep going back to that. My wife doesnt know about it and I feel it would destroy her faith and would never forgive me. So I have chosen not to tell her.

I mostly struggle with massage parlors and since I have come back to Christ and trying to avoid these things I have had constant back leg and arm pain since I came back to Christ which I never had before and I know if I go to a massage place it causes an itch that I have to scratch and my mind will not let it go until I do.

I can go for a little while if I stay busy, but staying cause more stress and puts me back in the trap.
I cant tell anyone about this for fear it could destroy there faith and will damage my witness and the friends I had before say there is nothing wrong with it and encourage it so I try to stay away from them.

Looking for some solid Christian advise

[Jason_NC]

Have you truly repented?  Genuine repentance seeks to right what is wrong.  It seems to me you are still covering your sin, which is a sign of false repentance.

Of course you are still tempted, you have no accountability. You need to confess to your wife, and to a godly man you can trust.  Confessing your sin won't damage someone else's faith in God.

After 2 encounters with a prostitute, have you at least been tested for disease?

[lk315]

That was over the last 8 years Ive been tested and thank God have no Issues. I just came back to Christ in the last 3 months and my wife is just now trying to start a relationship with Christ.

I feel telling her would do nothing but make me feel better to get it off my chest and do nothing but hurt her.

I did this during a time when I didnt believe there was a God and was in a strange season in my life that I felt I had complete a bucket list and I told myself that I was going to die so I better have fun.

I just joined a new church and dont know any one I can trust with that yet

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

I don't know the answer.  The first thing that occurs to me is to do what you enjoy with your wife.  Would that make it weird?

Jarrod