Worried for my daughter

[mom]

My oldest daughter *J* turned 33 yesterday and is still single and shows no interests in dating/relationships. Her younger brother and sister are each in relationships and have always dated like normal people. I don't know what's wrong with *J*, she's financially independent, she's involved at church, she has friends, and she's family oriented, but she has never had a boyfriend. I found out through my younger daughter that *J* had been talking to a guy, but nothing ever came of that because the guy didn't believe in waiting til marriage. That was a few years ago though and she hasn't shown an interest in dating since. I'm worried that she's going to end up alone and I can feel the judgement from friends and even family. Does anyone else have an adult child like this?

[chosenone]

Its hard to know if this is because she really isnt interested in meeting anyone, or if its because she just doesnt want to make that effort to to so. Do you not talk to her about things like this?
Not sure why friends and family are judging her, or what its go to do with them anyway, and even if they are, so what? Its her life and her decision.
Christian women do need to be proactive to find a godly man, there are so few such men in our churches especially by their 30's, most decent ones are married by that age. However its up to her to do that if she really does want to meet a man, and I do know several Christian ladies who were in their 30's when they met their husbands on line.

[MeMyself]

My oldest daughter *J* turned 33 yesterday and is still single and shows no interests in dating/relationships. Her younger brother and sister are each in relationships and have always dated like normal people. I don't know what's wrong with *J*, she's financially independent, she's involved at church, she has friends, and she's family oriented, but she has never had a boyfriend. I found out through my younger daughter that *J* had been talking to a guy, but nothing ever came of that because the guy didn't believe in waiting til marriage. That was a few years ago though and she hasn't shown an interest in dating since. I'm worried that she's going to end up alone and I can feel the judgement from friends and even family. Does anyone else have an adult child like this?

I would be SO very proud of my daughter for standing for her convictions that sex outside of marriage is unacceptable!!!  Not many people have the courage to live out their convictions like that.  There is NOTHING wrong with *J*, she is an amazing godly woman, who is content in the Lord.  Not everyone is called to marriage.

If you are worried that you will be judged for her life choices, go to God with that.  His call for her life isn't lining up with yours and so you need to leave it to Him and learn how to be content with her choosing God's way rather than the pressures of man's way.

God bless.

[mom]

Thanks for the replies. I know I shouldn't care what others think. I'm very proud of my daughter, I just don't want her to miss out on anything (love, marriage, children, etc...).

[mommydi]

Thanks for the replies. I know I shouldn't care what others think. I'm very proud of my daughter, I just don't want her to miss out on anything (love, marriage, children, etc...).

By delaying marriage, your daughter is learning a valuable lesson that many people never learn - their happiness, wholeness, completeness is not dependent on someone else (a spouse or children). She is learning that she is the one responsible for her own contentment and happiness. If and when she decides marriage and having children is important, just think of how emotionally healthy she will be as a wife and mom. 

[MeMyself]

I just don't want her to miss out on anything (love, marriage, children, etc...).

But, maybe she doesn't feel that she *is* missing out?  Love, marriage and family may be what the majority chooses, but maybe its not for her?  She can have a fulfilled life without those things.  Its ok, mom. I promise. 

[Brisingr]

I almost got married once -- and not because I actually wanted to, but because I felt like I was supposed to, because of attitudes like the one you're displaying.

It didn't happen, thank God. He was the worst possible choice, and I don't think it would have ended well had it happened. What I am gonna advise you to do is to leave it alone; your daughter doesn't HAVE to get married. She's fine. Just because her sibs have married doesn't mean J has to.