Stay or Go?

[Zimbo]

My husband and I are both in our early 40's. He is from New Zealand and I am from Zimbabwe. We met in New Zealand when I moved there in 2000 due to the declining situation in Zimbabwe. We married and lived there until 2013 when we moved to Zimbabwe. We have 4 children, a 4.5 year old, 2.5 year old twins and 6 month old baby.We moved to Zimbabwe to take advantage of being near my family and having more support while our children are so little and life is so busy. We have now come to a huge crossroads in our lives and have an impossible decision to make. Our jobs in New Zealand are open to us until the end of this year. They are fantastic jobs which we both loved and it would be very easy to return and slot back into life. Financially we would be way better off, and obviously New Zealand is a great place to raise a family - it's stable, great healthcare, world class eduction, reasonable cost of living and a secure country to grown old in. Zimbabwe on the other hand is unpredictable both economy wise and politically. Healthcare is substandard and while there are still good private schools we do struggle to raise money for fees. However, in New Zealand I would have to work full time meaning my 3 little ones would go to full time day care. We would have maybe 2 to 3 hours per day to try and spend with 4 children who we have to feed, bath and get to bed. That time of day as anyone with family knows is hectic. I feel I would lose my time with my children and it would be someone else raising them - but I would have the security of knowing we are in a great place for their futures. NZ is also a very secular country where the notion of believing in God in schools is looked down upon and they obviously have very liberal laws - legalised abortion, prostitution, gay marriage, ban on smacking children just to name a few. I worry that the lack of time I will have with them will mean these are the values they are raised with. The time I do have with them we will all be exhausted. My husband and I took 7 years to fall pregnant which is why we are older parents. This puts a different light on our jobs as if we don't take these opportunities to go back now, in the future we will be heading towards 50 and the job market gets a whole lot harder! In Zim I manage a travel business but only have to be here 3 mornings a week and then do bits and pieces from home. I drop my kids off and pick them up from school, I do all their afternoon activities with them or we just play, paint, swim, go for walks/bike rides etc. We spend weekends in the bush, fishing, camping and have time and an amazing quality of life. We are surrounded with family support - something we won't have in NZ. They go to wonderful Christian schools where the input in their lives is all from a Christian ethos and their teachers are Christian. We scrape by every month and don't have much spare money, and we really don't know what the future holds for this country. Africa is an unpredictable place. And yet I feel that on my deathbed the one thing I know I will have wanted was time with my family. My children are all on NZ passports so will be able to move there any time in the future to work or study. Am I being selfish for wanting to stay. Am I potentially robbing my children of a better future in the first world with all the first world trimmings? My husbands career is at a standstill here at the moment and prospects are not good unless there are major improvements in the country, but he does have a steady job and income which is more than what many in Zim can say. It is a wonderful and very frustrating place to live, but I feel there are things my children will learn and have here that will directly impact who they become, that we cannot give them in NZ. It is so hard to make this decision and I have laid it before the Lord and asked for His wisdom. Any comments or advice would be so very appreciated.

[LexKnight]

It's usually well to seek financial opportunities, but from the way you say it raising your children would need to be sacrificed. My opinion is they would be to be considered a priority. Better is a poor house but with children raised to know the Lord... With that said, certainly would be wise to seek the Lord on this, opportunities could arise where it wouldn't become a problem.

[chosenone]

What does your husband want to do? His opinion is vital especially if you are not sure.  Could you work part time in NZ or even manage one one wage till the children go to school? Maybe work in the evenings or weekends so that your husband can care for them while you are at work? Some friends of mine did that while the children were young.
If your husbands work isnt progressing there then you may need to go back to NZ for that reason. Does he have family in NZ who you could go and live near?

[doorknocker]

My husband and I are both in our early 40's. He is from New Zealand and I am from Zimbabwe. We met in New Zealand when I moved there in 2000 due to the declining situation in Zimbabwe. We married and lived there until 2013 when we moved to Zimbabwe. We have 4 children, a 4.5 year old, 2.5 year old twins and 6 month old baby.We moved to Zimbabwe to take advantage of being near my family and having more support while our children are so little and life is so busy. We have now come to a huge crossroads in our lives and have an impossible decision to make. Our jobs in New Zealand are open to us until the end of this year. They are fantastic jobs which we both loved and it would be very easy to return and slot back into life. Financially we would be way better off, and obviously New Zealand is a great place to raise a family - it's stable, great healthcare, world class eduction, reasonable cost of living and a secure country to grown old in. Zimbabwe on the other hand is unpredictable both economy wise and politically. Healthcare is substandard and while there are still good private schools we do struggle to raise money for fees. However, in New Zealand I would have to work full time meaning my 3 little ones would go to full time day care. We would have maybe 2 to 3 hours per day to try and spend with 4 children who we have to feed, bath and get to bed. That time of day as anyone with family knows is hectic. I feel I would lose my time with my children and it would be someone else raising them - but I would have the security of knowing we are in a great place for their futures. NZ is also a very secular country where the notion of believing in God in schools is looked down upon and they obviously have very liberal laws - legalised abortion, prostitution, gay marriage, ban on smacking children just to name a few. I worry that the lack of time I will have with them will mean these are the values they are raised with. The time I do have with them we will all be exhausted. My husband and I took 7 years to fall pregnant which is why we are older parents. This puts a different light on our jobs as if we don't take these opportunities to go back now, in the future we will be heading towards 50 and the job market gets a whole lot harder! In Zim I manage a travel business but only have to be here 3 mornings a week and then do bits and pieces from home. I drop my kids off and pick them up from school, I do all their afternoon activities with them or we just play, paint, swim, go for walks/bike rides etc. We spend weekends in the bush, fishing, camping and have time and an amazing quality of life. We are surrounded with family support - something we won't have in NZ. They go to wonderful Christian schools where the input in their lives is all from a Christian ethos and their teachers are Christian. We scrape by every month and don't have much spare money, and we really don't know what the future holds for this country. Africa is an unpredictable place. And yet I feel that on my deathbed the one thing I know I will have wanted was time with my family. My children are all on NZ passports so will be able to move there any time in the future to work or study. Am I being selfish for wanting to stay. Am I potentially robbing my children of a better future in the first world with all the first world trimmings? My husbands career is at a standstill here at the moment and prospects are not good unless there are major improvements in the country, but he does have a steady job and income which is more than what many in Zim can say. It is a wonderful and very frustrating place to live, but I feel there are things my children will learn and have here that will directly impact who they become, that we cannot give them in NZ. It is so hard to make this decision and I have laid it before the Lord and asked for His wisdom. Any comments or advice would be so very appreciated.

Do not sacrifice the children for financial gain and worldly securities.

Trust in the Lord and He will provide a way.