Being and Remaining a Virgin until Marriage

[Nataly87]

I am almost 30 years of age, currently 28. Ever since I was little, I was told growing up not to drink, smoke, or do drugs. I never have. I was also told that I should not have sexual intercourse until marriage. I am to this day still a Virgin and I am saving myself until marriage.

I am proud to be a Virgin and I am happy to be waiting until marriage. BUT here's the thing, I am saving myself for marriage and I even have a Boyfriend, who I have been with going on 2 years.

He knows I am a Virgin and he knows I am waiting until marriage. BUT...... he keeps telling me how he's sexually frustrated, and how he wants us to move things to another level and to have sex.

I have told him, you know my feelings on sex, I am not having sex until I am married. He understands but it still gets to him and he wants us to have sex already so we can be closer to each other.

I have told him, if you want sex that much, we can break up and he can find someone to date that he can have sex with ya know? But he then says, people are worth waiting for, and I don't want to loose you etc. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Am I doing the right thing by waiting or is it wrong of me?

[Jd34]

You don't need me or anyone else to to tell you who you need to be with. It's all up to you,

[Nataly87]

Yeah I see what you mean. But do you think me waiting until marriage is wrong of me?

[Jd34]

Yeah I see what you mean. But do you think me waiting until marriage is wrong of me?

No not at all. Love conquers all. Love is the greatest gift. Do you love?

[Nataly87]

Yes I do love, I love this guy but he keeps saying how I don't love him, I don't care for him, I don't show appreciation etc.

[Jd34]

Sex is highly over rated( unless you have the right partner) be smart about it and enjoy it- Jesus ain't going to condem to hell for it .

Well, at least what He tells me

[Nataly87]

Huh? So your saying not to wait until marriage and just have sex? I am confused.

[Texas Conservative]

Sex is highly over rated( unless you have the right partner) be smart about it and enjoy it- Jesus ain't going to condem to hell for it .

Well, at least what He tells me

What is your issue? 

[Texas Conservative]

Yes I do love, I love this guy but he keeps saying how I don't love him, I don't care for him, I don't show appreciation etc.

He wants to get in your pants.  He is trying to get what he wants from you through manipulation.

[Jd34]

Huh? So your saying not to wait until marriage and just have sex? I am confused.

Just do what feels right. Jesus is your scape goat.

[Jd34]

Just be responsible about it and don't rely on a word he sais

[Texas Conservative]

Huh? So your saying not to wait until marriage and just have sex? I am confused.

Just do what feels right. Jesus is your scape goat.

What is your problem tonight jd34?

[Jd34]

Huh? So your saying not to wait until marriage and just have sex? I am confused.

Just do what feels right. Jesus is your scape goat.

What is your problem tonight jd34?

No problem! God gave us the freedom to choose what we desire to choose. We choose God or we don't choose God. L

[Nataly87]

I still want to save myself until marriage and I am hoping my Boyfriend can wait until marriage but something tells me, he will continue to ask me and each time he does so, it does hurt me. :(

[LexKnight]

Then you need to address that to him. After if he still continues, you need to be willing to make a choice. But better question: You're 28 and been with him for 2 years, why aren't you guys already hitched?

[RB]

I am almost 30 years of age,................  I am to this day still a Virgin and I am saving myself until marriage.

Something is not adding up here. You are almost thirty and still saving yourself for marriage! My first question to you would be why? If I were your boyfriend you would marry or I would move on. You should have been married and had children already. Sometimes when I read post like these, I am thinking that this is a person simply seeking information from "Christians" just to see where we stand, because your case is strange to say the least. So, my question again is WHY are you waiting? Are you not burning as well as the man? God for the most part made us sexual creatures with a strong desire for the opposite sex. It is as natural as breathing. There are exceptions, but exceptions ONLY proves the rules stands. Your boyfriend is doing and desiring what any full blooded man would do~but when it happens, then it IS time for marriage. You are in the very best years of your life for the ultimate enjoyment of sex~I would not allow these years to slip by.

I am saving myself for marriage and I even have a Boyfriend, who I have been with going on 2 years.

Why wait? At your age, that's almost more than a year too long.

I am proud to be a Virgin and I am happy to be waiting until marriage.

Keep waiting and you will not need to be proud to be a virgin, but will be mourning that you waited so long~beside, it IS better to have children younger than older, for your strength is so much better to deal with with them and do all that needs to be done for them. Paul exhorted the young women to marry and bear children. Keep waiting and you will settle into habits that you will not like to change with a new voice in your life saying this or that, that very well will be contrary to the way you have lived your life for so many years alone. 

Please help. Am I doing the right thing by waiting or is it wrong of me?

It's NOT about waiting, it is WHY are you are waiting for marriage. God gave marriage for the very purpose of two coming together to become ONE. Jd34...

Sex is highly over rated

It is the most wonderful thing outside of knowing Jesus Christ that God has given to us. Your wife is losing out by you feeling that way!

[chosenone]

I am almost 30 years of age, currently 28. Ever since I was little, I was told growing up not to drink, smoke, or do drugs. I never have. I was also told that I should not have sexual intercourse until marriage. I am to this day still a Virgin and I am saving myself until marriage.

I am proud to be a Virgin and I am happy to be waiting until marriage. BUT here's the thing, I am saving myself for marriage and I even have a Boyfriend, who I have been with going on 2 years.

He knows I am a Virgin and he knows I am waiting until marriage. BUT...... he keeps telling me how he's sexually frustrated, and how he wants us to move things to another level and to have sex.

I have told him, you know my feelings on sex, I am not having sex until I am married. He understands but it still gets to him and he wants us to have sex already so we can be closer to each other.

I have told him, if you want sex that much, we can break up and he can find someone to date that he can have sex with ya know? But he then says, people are worth waiting for, and I don't want to loose you etc. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Am I doing the right thing by waiting or is it wrong of me?

A question, why oh why is it that after 2 years of dating you are still not either engaged or already married   After all you are 28, its not as if you are only 17, so why wait? Surely that is the next step? 2 years is a very long time to be with someone and still not be married, so I can totally understand his frustration. Paul says that if we are burning with passion then get married, so why arent you?
I was married 9 months after meeting my husband. Why the delay, unless you are not sure he is the one in which case you need to let him go so he can met someone else and get married.  I had a 6 year old and a 4 year old child at your age, and had been married for 9 years.

[chosenone]

Then you need to address that to him. After if he still continues, you need to be willing to make a choice. But better question: You're 28 and been with him for 2 years, why aren't you guys already hitched?

Exactly.

[Nataly87]

We haven't been together for 2 years. Its been 1 year this past January and 2 months. And I want him to wait until marriage but as I said, he keeps persisting on having sex.

[LexKnight]

We haven't been together for 2 years. Its been 1 year this past January and 2 months. And I want him to wait until marriage but as I said, he keeps persisting on having sex.

So why not get married? You said you love him, right? Even a year is long enough to know whether two people are compatible in marriage.

[Rella]

I am with the others.

Why are you not married? Even a year and 2 months is time enough to know if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

As to waiting until marriage..... yes.

However... there is a caution here. The caution is to not delay getting married overly long.

As women are getting older it is extremely difficult to ind a man , even Christian, who is willing to wait.

I have never married, but I did decide to try and find a mate.. to grow old with... in 2009.

I have met a few, but truth be told, I am in my 60s, and when I told them I would not until we walked down the aisle I was told that is fine, but not at this stage of the game. BTW. I am still looking. It is not pretty out there, even in Christian circles, when you age.

So, if you truly love this man then it is time to force the issue. If he truly loves you, and it is not just lusting for
something unknown, he will agree.

[Nataly87]

1. I do not have or want to have kids, because they are not for me.
2. Saving and waiting until marriage is my choice
3. If I have to be 30 and get married so be it.
4. I don't care if I am a virgin at 30, 35, or even 40 it doesn't bother me
5. I don't know if this guy is the one for me, I want him to be but him and I keep fighting a lot.
6. Like I said he has bought up having sex, and that bothers me. I told him my choice and yet he still says how he's frustrated and he wants us to have sex
7. I want him and I to be together but not so sure anymore due to us fighting

[LexKnight]

You can't just string him along and expect him to not be frustrated. Does he want to marry you?

[chosenone]

1. I do not have or want to have kids, because they are not for me.
2. Saving and waiting until marriage is my choice
3. If I have to be 30 and get married so be it.
4. I don't care if I am a virgin at 30, 35, or even 40 it doesn't bother me
5. I don't know if this guy is the one for me, I want him to be but him and I keep fighting a lot.
6. Like I said he has bought up having sex, and that bothers me. I told him my choice and yet he still says how he's frustrated and he wants us to have sex
7. I want him and I to be together but not so sure anymore due to us fighting

If you are still not sure after 2 years then I highly doubt that you really want to be his wife. Does he know that you dont want children? Have the 2 of you even talked about marriage and when that may happen? Has he asked you to marry him?
This situation sounds very strange to me. if you dont want to marry him then please let him go, so that he can find a lady who will marry him in a reasonable time frame, want to have sex with him(after marriage) and want to have children with him.

[DaveW]

Yes I do love, I love this guy but he keeps saying how I don't love him, I don't care for him, I don't show appreciation etc.

He wants to get in your pants.  He is trying to get what he wants from you through manipulation.

I completely agree.

[chosenone]

Yes I do love, I love this guy but he keeps saying how I don't love him, I don't care for him, I don't show appreciation etc.

He wants to get in your pants.  He is trying to get what he wants from you through manipulation.

I completely agree.

Dave, would you agree that dating for 2 years in your late 20's without even being engaged let alone married isnt helping the situation? It maybe  that he wants to do the right thing and he may even have suggested marriage, we dont know. 

[MeMyself]

I am almost 30 years of age, currently 28. Ever since I was little, I was told growing up not to drink, smoke, or do drugs. I never have. I was also told that I should not have sexual intercourse until marriage. I am to this day still a Virgin and I am saving myself until marriage.

I am proud to be a Virgin and I am happy to be waiting until marriage. BUT here's the thing, I am saving myself for marriage and I even have a Boyfriend, who I have been with going on 2 years.

He knows I am a Virgin and he knows I am waiting until marriage. BUT...... he keeps telling me how he's sexually frustrated, and how he wants us to move things to another level and to have sex.

I have told him, you know my feelings on sex, I am not having sex until I am married. He understands but it still gets to him and he wants us to have sex already so we can be closer to each other.

I have told him, if you want sex that much, we can break up and he can find someone to date that he can have sex with ya know? But he then says, people are worth waiting for, and I don't want to loose you etc. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Am I doing the right thing by waiting or is it wrong of me?

Wish you would have told him, "If you want sex with me so we can "take it to the next level", why have you not proposed to me?!"  Put it back on him! Don't let yourself be manipulated.  If he truly "wants you", he would be honoring you and if he truly is worth being with because he loves you, he would ask you to be his bride.

If the pressure continues, kick his bum to the curb and don't waste another second on a relationship with him.  He doesn't respect you!

[chosenone]

I am almost 30 years of age, currently 28. Ever since I was little, I was told growing up not to drink, smoke, or do drugs. I never have. I was also told that I should not have sexual intercourse until marriage. I am to this day still a Virgin and I am saving myself until marriage.

I am proud to be a Virgin and I am happy to be waiting until marriage. BUT here's the thing, I am saving myself for marriage and I even have a Boyfriend, who I have been with going on 2 years.

He knows I am a Virgin and he knows I am waiting until marriage. BUT...... he keeps telling me how he's sexually frustrated, and how he wants us to move things to another level and to have sex.

I have told him, you know my feelings on sex, I am not having sex until I am married. He understands but it still gets to him and he wants us to have sex already so we can be closer to each other.

I have told him, if you want sex that much, we can break up and he can find someone to date that he can have sex with ya know? But he then says, people are worth waiting for, and I don't want to loose you etc. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Am I doing the right thing by waiting or is it wrong of me?

Wish you would have told him, "If you want sex with me so we can "take it to the next level", why have you not proposed to me?!"  Put it back on him! Don't let yourself be manipulated.  If he truly "wants you", he would be honoring you and if he truly is worth being with because he loves you, he would ask you to be his bride.

If the pressure continues, kick his bum to the curb and don't waste another second on a relationship with him.  He doesn't respect you!

I suppose we dont actually know that he hasnt already asked her and talked to her about marriage. We dont know whether she said yes or not or why there is this delay.
I think that most Christian couples of that age who arent having sex would have been married by that time, or at least be engaged and have a date to marry. Paul is clear on what to do if this becomes an issue...get married.  The OP hasnt yet said why after all this time they have done nothing about this.

[MeMyself]

I am almost 30 years of age, currently 28. Ever since I was little, I was told growing up not to drink, smoke, or do drugs. I never have. I was also told that I should not have sexual intercourse until marriage. I am to this day still a Virgin and I am saving myself until marriage.

I am proud to be a Virgin and I am happy to be waiting until marriage. BUT here's the thing, I am saving myself for marriage and I even have a Boyfriend, who I have been with going on 2 years.

He knows I am a Virgin and he knows I am waiting until marriage. BUT...... he keeps telling me how he's sexually frustrated, and how he wants us to move things to another level and to have sex.

I have told him, you know my feelings on sex, I am not having sex until I am married. He understands but it still gets to him and he wants us to have sex already so we can be closer to each other.

I have told him, if you want sex that much, we can break up and he can find someone to date that he can have sex with ya know? But he then says, people are worth waiting for, and I don't want to loose you etc. I just don't know what to do. Please help. Am I doing the right thing by waiting or is it wrong of me?

Wish you would have told him, "If you want sex with me so we can "take it to the next level", why have you not proposed to me?!"  Put it back on him! Don't let yourself be manipulated.  If he truly "wants you", he would be honoring you and if he truly is worth being with because he loves you, he would ask you to be his bride.

If the pressure continues, kick his bum to the curb and don't waste another second on a relationship with him.  He doesn't respect you!

I suppose we dont actually know that he hasnt already asked her and talked to her about marriage. We dont know whether she said yes or not or why there is this delay.
I think that most Christian couples of that age who arent having sex would have been married by that time, or at least be engaged and have a date to marry. Paul is clear on what to do if this becomes an issue...get married.  The OP hasnt yet said why after all this time they have done nothing about this.

Yes, I suppose that is true.  I guess I assumed that since she wishes to wait until marriage, and that he is asking for sex, that a proposal wasn't offered.

OP, HAS he proposed to you? IS he trying to get you to say yes to marriage or just sex?

[Texas Conservative]

Yes I do love, I love this guy but he keeps saying how I don't love him, I don't care for him, I don't show appreciation etc.

He wants to get in your pants.  He is trying to get what he wants from you through manipulation.

I completely agree.

Dave, would you agree that dating for 2 years in your late 20's without even being engaged let alone married isnt helping the situation? It maybe  that he wants to do the right thing and he may even have suggested marriage, we dont know.

Maybe both are naively waiting for that magical time when they are financially set.

[MeMyself]

Maybe both are naively waiting for that magical time when they are financially set.

Could be.  Sorry to laugh, but its at my dh and my own selves: over twenty five years in, and we are *still* not financially set!

[Texas Conservative]

Maybe both are naively waiting for that magical time when they are financially set.

Could be.  Sorry to laugh, but its at my dh and my own selves: over twenty five years in, and we are *still* not financially set!

It was meant both seriously and as a humorous take on those younger than myself.  It's a worldly view that we need so much for a ring or to be able to have a 25k wedding before we get married.

[Jaime]

In my opinion, it's best to get married young and have kids young before you think you will "know" all the pitfalls. If you wait until everything is just right, you will miss out on immeasurable blessings.

If I had waited until my late 20s or early 30s, it would have been hard to find a more worthless, set in his ways human being.

[DaveW]

In my opinion, it's best to get married young and have kids young before you think you will "know" all the pitfalls. If you wait until everything is just right, you will miss out on immeasurable blessings.

I agree with this.

[Nataly87]

Wouldn't any of YOU of wanted, your life put together? Have a job, a car, and money in your pocket, then get married and get your own house, then the kids? I thought thats the way it was done.