Importance Of Equally Yoked On Every Aspect

[sassygrrl32]

I'm curious, how important is being equally yoked from a christian perspective or any perspective really?
After I left my ex husband(who I wasn't legally married to) because he was alcoholic I ran into the same problems that I'd had before meeting him when it came to good men. I don't think I'm setting my bar too high. I would like someone who's on the same page with God, etc. My ex husband had no belief in what I do and we didn't talk about it. He's a very good man and is great when he's not drinking.
I met someone after I left him. He's a good guy, believes the same way I do, we got along great and I thought we could have a future together(even his sons loved and accepted me) but it wasn't meant to be. The story of my life. Recently, met someone else but he's too much of a knowitall and believes God is satan. Tried online dating numerous time before and after my marriage.
I'm 47, never married(legally), no kids. There was a time I wanted them but it didn't happen.
I'm fairly happy and healthy, go on tons of road trips, enjoy my photography and have accepted that singleness is my destiny(finally got to a point in my life where I don't want anyone, friendships and companionship I do want). And since I'm living in my car right now I Can't think of anything else. I'm still friends with my ex husband. He wanted to try again but I said not without AA. Still friends with the good guy too. All the way around I live a good life.
I'm writing an article. And I can't come up with very many reasons why a woman should reject a good man who may not be christian. For that matter anyone who wants to stick around and who loves her. After a little research it would seem that women don't have too many options when it comes to love after 50 and she might want to lower her expectations considerably. I think the most important thing is love, companionship and most importantly a man who wants to stay around. One conclusion I've come to is good men really don't want good women and not sure any of them want relationships.
My question: is anything other than love and the two people bonding important? How can something be important if a woman can't find it? Thanks for replies beforehand.

[Nevertheless]

What does being a Christian mean to you? Is Jesus your Lord? If He is, then how could you join lives with someone who does not honor Him as Lord?

[sassygrrl32]

Not in disagreement. I read a post I'd written a few months ago and someone who replied said women were knocking alot of men off the list because they didn't go to church or weren't christian, etc. etc.
My problem has been no matter how much I want to attract a christian man who worships God and is on the same page as I and similar beliefs I just don't meet him.
My last therapist said because I come from a dysfunctional childhood I'm going to attract dysfunctional men. Until I "fix" myself I'm not going to attract anyone else. If by fixing she means undoing everything my nutty parents did or forgetting it, that's not going to happen.
As for my ex husband, if he would get help for the drinking I would still consider a future with him. I know he'll never worship God as I do but I'm ok with it. I like having a companion, love, affection, etc.
THe older a woman gets the harder it is tyo find someone. And for a christian woman it's even harder because all the christian men are already taken.
It's crazy in some of the churches I go to and they are huge(I'm not looking for single men there just making an observation) there are almost no single men(except for ones about 20) there. It appears that not too many older single christian men go to church.
That said, the men I do meet aren't christian and most don't go to church. My ex husband would go with me, he just didn't believe in any of it.
I understand not marrying someone who's not christain but it's really hard to meet men at nearly 50 on the same page.

[chosenone]

I agree, its very hard for a Christian lady to meet any godly men. I was blessed to met my husband when we were both in our late 40's on a Christian dating site, but so many Christian women I know in their 30's and above are single because there are far more of them in the church than Christian men. I noticed this in the 2 years I was on christian dating sites, there were always less men than women there and that difference got worse with age. By the 40's there were about 4 women to each man, and bearing in mind that most men want younger ladies, that makes the numbers even more skewed.
Its not what God wants of course, but I dont blame women at all who end up with a sympathetic non believer, because we are made by God to desire someone to love, and not even He can produce men out of thin air. I have friends with non believing husbands(they become believers after marriage) and one of the husbands has just converted at age 70. So God can use these situations for good and to draw the men into His kingdom.

Its a problem and I feel for the ladies in this predicament.

As for your situation, will he not agree to go to AA if it means you will get together again? If you do get back with him, please get married.

[sassygrrl32]

He's made it clear he will not go to AA no matter what. I like the friendship but that's about it. If we got back together I would not marry him. For financial reasons as well as the alcohol. There's always the chance he would go back to it. We had a committment ceremony as as far as I'm concerned it's just as good. And in our state it's common law anyway.

[Texas Conservative]

I agree, its very hard for a Christian lady to meet any godly men. I was blessed to met my husband when we were both in our late 40's on a Christian dating site, but so many Christian women I know in their 30's and above are single because there are far more of them in the church than Christian men. I noticed this in the 2 years I was on christian dating sites, there were always less men than women there and that difference got worse with age. By the 40's there were about 4 women to each man, and bearing in mind that most men want younger ladies, that makes the numbers even more skewed.
Its not what God wants of course, but I dont blame women at all who end up with a sympathetic non believer, because we are made by God to desire someone to love, and not even He can produce men out of thin air. I have friends with non believing husbands(they become believers after marriage) and one of the husbands has just converted at age 70. So God can use these situations for good and to draw the men into His kingdom.

Its a problem and I feel for the ladies in this predicament.

As for your situation, will he not agree to go to AA if it means you will get together again? If you do get back with him, please get married.

There isn't a ton of great single Christian ladies out there either.

[chosenone]

He's made it clear he will not go to AA no matter what. I like the friendship but that's about it. If we got back together I would not marry him. For financial reasons as well as the alcohol. There's always the chance he would go back to it. We had a committment ceremony as as far as I'm concerned it's just as good. And in our state it's common law anyway.

God says we are to get married and not live with someone.
If he refuses to get help than that shows how little he cares about the relationship really.

[chosenone]

I agree, its very hard for a Christian lady to meet any godly men. I was blessed to met my husband when we were both in our late 40's on a Christian dating site, but so many Christian women I know in their 30's and above are single because there are far more of them in the church than Christian men. I noticed this in the 2 years I was on christian dating sites, there were always less men than women there and that difference got worse with age. By the 40's there were about 4 women to each man, and bearing in mind that most men want younger ladies, that makes the numbers even more skewed.
Its not what God wants of course, but I dont blame women at all who end up with a sympathetic non believer, because we are made by God to desire someone to love, and not even He can produce men out of thin air. I have friends with non believing husbands(they become believers after marriage) and one of the husbands has just converted at age 70. So God can use these situations for good and to draw the men into His kingdom.

Its a problem and I feel for the ladies in this predicament.

As for your situation, will he not agree to go to AA if it means you will get together again? If you do get back with him, please get married.

There isn't a ton of great single Christian ladies out there either.

There are far far more than the men. Try a christian online dating site, you will see there are far more women than men seeking to meet someone. 

[Texas Conservative]

I agree, its very hard for a Christian lady to meet any godly men. I was blessed to met my husband when we were both in our late 40's on a Christian dating site, but so many Christian women I know in their 30's and above are single because there are far more of them in the church than Christian men. I noticed this in the 2 years I was on christian dating sites, there were always less men than women there and that difference got worse with age. By the 40's there were about 4 women to each man, and bearing in mind that most men want younger ladies, that makes the numbers even more skewed.
Its not what God wants of course, but I dont blame women at all who end up with a sympathetic non believer, because we are made by God to desire someone to love, and not even He can produce men out of thin air. I have friends with non believing husbands(they become believers after marriage) and one of the husbands has just converted at age 70. So God can use these situations for good and to draw the men into His kingdom.

Its a problem and I feel for the ladies in this predicament.

As for your situation, will he not agree to go to AA if it means you will get together again? If you do get back with him, please get married.

There isn't a ton of great single Christian ladies out there either.

There are far far more than the men. Try a christian online dating site, you will see there are far more women than men seeking to meet someone.

Far less women than you think.  On Christian Mingle, many of the women are not really Christian but are hoping for a better man than they usually get. 

[estradaiom]

Hey Sassy girl,

This is my first time to this website and read your entry. I am not sure if you received any emails but i would appreciate seeing a picture of you and was wondering if you have found a place to live.
removed

[chosenone]

   TC
I went on 3 or 4 over a 2 year period and there were always far more women than men. I expect there are just as many men on christian mingle who arent christian either.