Does my Guy Exist?

[Nataly87]

The type of guy I am looking for has to meeting the following;

DOES NOT
Drink, Smoke, or Do Drugs
Doesn't have or want to have kids
Wants to get married
Has a job
Drives and has a car
Has his own place or lives at home with family or roomates etc.
Loves concerts and listening to metal, rock, and punk music
Is willing to wait until marriage to have sex

[DaveW]

Did you not put this same list up on another forum? 

[Nataly87]

Why yes I did, because I thought MAYBE my guy would be on 1 of these forums but guess not. No big deal though, my time will come and I will find my special someone someday.

[chosenone]

Do you want him to be a Christian? Why does he have to listen to metal rock and punk music?
To be honest most people want children and I am not sure many Christians listen to heavy mental or heavy rock. 

[Mere Nick]

chosenone said

Do you want him to be a Christian? Why does he have to listen to metal rock and punk music?
To be honest most people want children and I am not sure many Christians listen to heavy mental or heavy rock.

I suspect she wants someone that would like the same style of music that she does.  My wife and I don't overlap all that much when it comes to music but it isn't a big deal.  I'd also suspect lots of Christians listen to what they would consider to be as metal or heavy as they, themselves, like.  It's like food.  We may both claim to like spicy food but one of us would probably consider the other as having relatively bland tastes. 

For a good while I didn't want any kids.  No way.  You see, the only baby/toddler in my life was my nephew and he was very colicky and a real drag to be around.  Later on, my niece came along and she was a wonderfully loving and cuddly baby.  We had two and then having the 3rd was my idea!  Most folks will change their opinion when their information does, istm. 
     

[Nataly87]

There are Christian metal musicians, Blessthefall, As I Lay Dying, Underoath, among others. Music is a big part of my life and I want my partner to like it as much as me, so we can go to concerts all the time and have fun. But most important is that he doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I don't care if he is Christian or not.

[Nataly87]

I will find a guy for me someday and if not oh well. I am just not going to try as hard.

[beal_01]

Best thing to do is surrender.  Open your heart to who God wants you to be with.  Not your image of a perfect match.

The part of marriage that I'm looking forward to is the part where we are self sacrificial to each other, help each other, and love each other. 

[TJW343]

I sincerely believe that how we THINK plays a large role in situations like this.  What I mean by that is that if we are waiting for that perfect someone for a L-O-N-G time - and it feels like it is never going to happen, then we can get very impatient, frustrated - even bitter. 

Have you ever tried voicing positive things to counteract that?  Things like, "My God Loves me, and Matt 6:33 says that if I seek him first, he WILL provide all of my needs.  (assuming you've done that) - that means that you can EXPECT God to answer a sincere prayer like this. 

By the way, did you ever read the story of David & Goliath (I Sam 17) very carefully - and note what David SAID?   He SAID what he was going to do, and what was going to happen, before it did.   Also, read the story of Jonathan in I Sam 14.  In a similar way, he SAID what would happen, before it did. 

Why can't you do likewise?  Say something like, "I have sought the Lord, and He will answer me.  This is a legitimate NEED (not a want) - which the Lord has PROMISED to meet.  Since the Lord is your Father in Heaven, you do NOT need to beg about this.   (Can you imagine a child going to their parent and BEGGING them for food?  How would you feel if you were the parent?  Terrible, right? - because if your child felt the need to beg to you, the obvious implication is what you were not inclined to meet your child's need for food!   Do you see the parallel here?  So many Christians adopt an attitude of BEGGING when they pray - which I really feel is insulting to God.    (Now - I'm not talking about name it & claim it  - as I said, yours is a NEED and not a WANT - big difference!!)

So if you think about this, having that positive belief towards God (Faith, actually) - will cause you to become relaxed, and any frustration will dissipate.  So please try, and see the Lord as your loving Father, and to begin making positive, verbal confessions...

[alwaysme]

@Tjw

that's a nice piece. But believe me that always doesn't guarantee an answer. If you want to get married,  be open for both possibilities of getting one or not at all so that at the end you won't be disappointed.

Believe me I asked God, sought His kingdom first, etc etc etc...
But in the end,  He still didn't meet my need. The strange thing is the longing is stronger and deeper than before. I'm a very independent person before.

Anyway, bottom line is be open to accept both. God's plan always prevails nothing we can do to alter it.if He decided it's better for you to be alone, be ready to accept it.

[alwaysme]

You won't find that guy. If you found one, he is not the one for you. That's how the world works. Lol

Plus, that list of items aren't husband material. Those things won't make you survive real life. I suggest you rethink that. Will that make your family full at all times? Will that avoid him or you from cheating?

[Fearnot87]

If your faith says NO God will never say No

[RB]

The type of guy I am looking for has to meeting the following;

DOES NOT
Drink, Smoke, or Do Drugs
Doesn't have or want to have kids
Wants to get married
Has a job
Drives and has a car
Has his own place or lives at home with family or roomates etc.
Loves concerts and listening to metal, rock, and punk music
Is willing to wait until marriage to have sex

Drink, Smoke

That leaves most out

Doesn't have or want to have kids

I would not want a woman who did not want children! Now, I do not have kids, or billy goats

Wants to get married

Why get married if cannot have children?

Has a job

Would any job do? Working at McDonalds?

Has his own place or lives at home with family or roomates etc.

Do you have a problem with living under a bridge? or naked in the wild, wild west?

Loves concerts and listening to metal, rock, and punk music

Do you have a problem with gospel music?

Is willing to wait until marriage to have sex

How long must one wait? Okay, most guys will give you about four hours. Just feeding the troll the food they love to eat.

[skater07]

I meet all of those requirements but not big into heavy metal.

But I digress, how are those requirements really going to make a good husband necessarily. I meet all those requirements and I don't think I would make a good husband, not as I am now anyway.

[HiveAlive777]

The type of guy I am looking for has to meeting the following;

DOES NOT
Drink, Smoke, or Do Drugs
Doesn't have or want to have kids
Wants to get married
Has a job
Drives and has a car
Has his own place or lives at home with family or roomates etc.
Loves concerts and listening to metal, rock, and punk music
Is willing to wait until marriage to have sex

Hi Nataly,

Why do you feel you need this? This isn't a dig by any means. I am genuinely interested in why the list is mandatory. That way of thinking leads to a lot of missed opportunities.