Age Difference

[beal_01]

Hey everybody, met someone new.  She's a great girl, very on fire for Jesus, attends mission trips, and serves with the teens to help mentor and guide them.

Only problem, I'm 15yrs older.  I don't think she really cares and I think she's interested.  But being younger than me, I'm not sure if she realizes what that means for her down the road.

Chatted with a few other guys at the church.  They think I should let her come to me and not ask her out.  Be very laid back, pray about it alot.  All good advice, which I am taking.

What do you guys think..? 

[Texas Conservative]

I am your age.  While I find 21 year olds attractive,  I don't know how you could relate to her in terms of every day living.

[Alan]

As you become older, the age gap narrows. My wife and I are 12+ years apart (I am older) and we are very much on the same page.

[beal_01]

My attraction to her isn't driven by physical beauty, nor the fact that's she's younger than me.  She was attending pretty much all summer and didn't catch my eye once.

What did it...?  She spoke during a service this summer about her mission trip experience.  She showed a beauty there that pulled my heart to her like you wouldn't believe.  To be honest, I myself was surprised over that.

My friends think it's good that I recognize Godly beauty and not just the physical.

I tried the whole date a hot girl, or follow the recipe as to what the world thinks makes a girl beautiful, didn't work out too good for me. 

Looking forward to having a Christ centered relationship... If she's not the one, I know that there will be one eventually.  I have Faith :)

[RB]

in your fifies

Hey everybody, met someone new.  She's a great girl, very on fire for Jesus, attends mission trips, and serves with the teens to help mentor and guide them.

Only problem, I'm 15yrs older.  I don't think she really cares and I think she's interested.  But being younger than me, I'm not sure if she realizes what that means for her down the road.

Chatted with a few other guys at the church.  They think I should let her come to me and not ask her out.  Be very laid back, pray about it alot.  All good advice, which I am taking.

What do you guys think..?

At your age of 36 and she's 21, it is too big of a gap, if you were both older than it may not matter that much. There would be problems to overcome later, maybe not now. The thing going for you is that both are believers and that may help to overcome the difficulties that will arise.

[Texas Conservative]

I would say she might be a great woman, but she's basically just a kid.  She hasn't had many adult experiences.

The creeper rule is half your age plus 7.  So 25 is the bottom scale for a 36 year old man according to that rule. 

[beal_01]

Agreed. Will keep praying and hoping for the right one. :)

[chosenone]

Just play it cool, pray and see what happens.
I am not one for large age gaps as a rule, I wouldn't want one myself(my husband is a year younger than me) and they can cause many problems especially in later life when one partner is basically old and the other is still middle aged and wants to get out and do things.
At 36 will you have much in common with someone who is almost young enough to be your daughter? 21 year olds still have so much changing to do and growing up to do. On the other hand at her age I was married, buying our first home, and had my first child. It was normal then.

Having said that, only time will tell, and if you are both interested then who knows what may happen or what God has in store.
My best friend at school married a man 11 years her senior when she was 19 and he 29. They have been happily married for 41 years.

Its good that you are no longer doing what many men do, date a girl only for her looks.  The way you see people changes as you get to know them. Some become more ugly and some more beautiful. 

[Carey]

I think at 21 for many, maybe most, there is still some major growing to accomplish, she will likely be a different person in just a few years.  I think there is also an issue with girls that age looking up to older guys, they have much to offer that guys the girls age do not; wealth, stability, charm, experience.  In just a few years those young men will have all you have to offer, and more.

That said, my wife and I were married when she was just twenty two, I twenty five, and lived happily ever after for twenty four years now.  However,  she is special  and seemed more mature than most girls her age at the time.

I am with Chosenone, play it very cool for a while, pray, and see what happens.  And, before you do anything you might want to check in with her father.  I have a 21 year old daughter, and to be honest I would have issues with a man your age making a play for her.  I would expect a visit from you first, and quite frankly would likely dissuade you in no uncertain terms.

[chosenone]

I think at 21 for many, maybe most, there is still some major growing to accomplish, she will likely be a different person in just a few years.  I think there is also an issue with girls that age looking up to older guys, they have much to offer that guys the girls age do not; wealth, stability, charm, experience.  In just a few years those young men will have all you have to offer, and more.

That said, my wife and I were married when she was just twenty two, I twenty five, and lived happily ever after for twenty four years now.  However,  she is special  and seemed more mature than most girls her age at the time.

I am with Chosenone, play it very cool for a while, pray, and see what happens.  And, before you do anything you might want to check in with her father.  I have a 21 year old daughter, and to be honest I would have issues with a man your age making a play for her.  I would expect a visit from you first, and quite frankly would likely dissuade you in no uncertain terms.

Good point carey, I didn't think of her parents.

The difference with you getting married young(as I did as well, I was 19), was that the age difference was small. 3 years is nothing is it.

[beal_01]

Solid advice....

Mrs. Right right will come along eventually.