Pulling my hair out!

[MeMyself]

I adore being a mom...adore it!

Today, I want to pull my own hair out, I am so sick of it all! haha!

Oldest dd last night played the part beautifully of the unmerciful servant, the "good" brother in the prodigal son story and broke my heart with her hard heartedness.
Youngest dd today is again trying my patience as her teacher, fighting me about another writing assignment, and being a punk in how she is speaking to me...

BUT! YAY me! I didn't launch myself at her, or let my inner sailor out, or even cry (which is what I do when I am trying to suppress anger). I just closed my eyes, breathed like I was in labor and lowered my voice to a bone-chilling, eerie whisper (the kind that always lets my kids know that mom has been pushed one inch beyond sanity) and banished her from the room until I could stop envisioning what she'd look like stuffed into a shoe-box, the  .   

Thanks for letting me vent...I feel LOTS better! 

[Carey]

 

Quick question what is dd? 

[MeMyself]

Quick question what is dd?

Ding-dang daughter.

Just kidding.  Its darling daughter

[Alan]

Good job of holding it together, I know how difficult that can be at times.

My kids are grown up and moved on now but my wife and I have re-assumed the parental role with our granddaughter, she'll be 4 in May. Not sure for how long but at this point we have full custody. Hopefully the kid will get his act together within the next year or so and make an attempt to provide a home for her. Maybe just wishful thinking though.   

[MeMyself]

Good job of holding it together, I know how difficult that can be at times.

My kids are grown up and moved on now but my wife and I have re-assumed the parental role with our granddaughter, she'll be 4 in May. Not sure for how long but at this point we have full custody. Hopefully the kid will get his act together within the next year or so and make an attempt to provide a home for her. Maybe just wishful thinking though.

Oh, man, Alan! Bless you and your wife for standing in the gap!  It must be so hard to think you were done parenting, to only find yourself starting over!  I admire you guys for your willingness to offer your grandbeebee a safe home filled with love.

[Alan]

Oh, man, Alan! Bless you and your wife for standing in the gap!  It must be so hard to think you were done parenting, to only find yourself starting over!  I admire you guys for your willingness to offer your grandbeebee a safe home filled with love.

It was my wife's doing, I actually wanted to leave her with the wolves.     Seriously though, when you find yourself in this position there isn't much you can do other than try your best.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.

[mommydi]

It was my wife's doing, I actually wanted to leave her with the wolves.     Seriously though, when you find yourself in this position there isn't much you can do other than try your best.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.

Bless you and your dear wife, Alan. It's not easy, and not what we planned, but sometimes there's no way out. I had my grandson off and on since he was a week old, then full time when he turned 7. He left last summer (when he turned 18) but he's back for a short spell.
I appreciate Memy's words of support for you and would encourage anyone who is reading to offer words of support for others they know who are raising grandchildren. I joined a support group for grandparents raising grandkids and that's where I got most of my support. My parents were very supportive, and that helped, but many other family members, friends, and acquaintances felt the need to say such things to me as-

I'd never raise my grandkids. (ummm, never say never)
IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE TO RAISE HIM!! (Someone has to)
Make them raise their own child! (You can't force someone to raise their kids)

When someone is raising a grandchild, they're older, tired, and needing support - not critical words and judgements.

[mommydi]

Ding-dang daughter.

Just kidding.  Its darling daughter

I need to remember that one.

Hope things are better tonight, Memy.

[Alan]

Bless you and your dear wife, Alan. It's not easy, and not what we planned, but sometimes there's no way out. I had my grandson off and on since he was a week old, then full time when he turned 7. He left last summer (when he turned 18) but he's back for a short spell.
I appreciate Memy's words of support for you and would encourage anyone who is reading to offer words of support for others they know who are raising grandchildren. I joined a support group for grandparents raising grandkids and that's where I got most of my support. My parents were very supportive, and that helped, but many other family members, friends, and acquaintances felt the need to say such things to me as-

I'd never raise my grandkids. (ummm, never say never)
IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE TO RAISE HIM!! (Someone has to)
Make them raise their own child! (You can't force someone to raise their kids)

When someone is raising a grandchild, they're older, tired, and needing support - not critical words and judgements.

Definitely don't need people judging us, we didn't ask for this but that's the way life turns out sometimes, the only other alternative is foster care but believe me when I say "the thought never crossed our minds".

[Texas Conservative]

Definitely don't need people judging us, we didn't ask for this but that's the way life turns out sometimes, the only other alternative is foster care but believe me when I say "the thought never crossed our minds".

I don't think any grandparent who loves their grandkids and is still physically capable would consider that alternative.

[MeMyself]

It was my wife's doing, I actually wanted to leave her with the wolves. 

  Yeah, right!  This did make me laugh though!

Seriously though, when you find yourself in this position there isn't much you can do other than try your best.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.[/size][/font]

She is blessed to have you in her little corner.

[MeMyself]

Bless you and your dear wife, Alan. It's not easy, and not what we planned, but sometimes there's no way out. I had my grandson off and on since he was a week old, then full time when he turned 7. He left last summer (when he turned 18) but he's back for a short spell.
I appreciate Memy's words of support for you and would encourage anyone who is reading to offer words of support for others they know who are raising grandchildren. I joined a support group for grandparents raising grandkids and that's where I got most of my support. My parents were very supportive, and that helped, but many other family members, friends, and acquaintances felt the need to say such things to me as-

I'd never raise my grandkids. (ummm, never say never)
IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE TO RAISE HIM!! (Someone has to)
Make them raise their own child! (You can't force someone to raise their kids)

When someone is raising a grandchild, they're older, tired, and needing support - not critical words and judgements.

People will never cease to amaze me with the lack of grace they show others in need. Mommydi, I am *heartbroken* that anyone would say such things to you.  You were the hands and feet of Jesus to your grandson and I pray God bless you mightily for it.  It is no small thing when we love on the least of these. ((hugs))

[MeMyself]

I need to remember that one.

Hope things are better tonight, Memy.

Oh, it has gotten MUCH better, thanks!  We are laughing and teasing each other again...all the good stuff of being a mama is back.   

[MeMyself]

I don't think any grandparent who loves their grandkids and is still physically capable would consider that alternative.

Just to share a bit about said 'ding-dang, darling daughter', the very one whom inspired this thread   

She was our fost/adopt beebee.  We got her at three weeks old. Her gram decided she wanted her about two months in, but was out of state and was currently raising an older sibling.  We *prayed* like mad and dd's gram decided she couldn't take on another child, and our adoptions worker was able to assure her that dd was perfectly fit with us, and gave up her fight.   She later was instrumental in getting bio mom to sign over her rights as well.  Which is weird that she still had them, since she was imprisoned shortly after giving birth to dd, and she was her forth baby to be removed from her...but thats a story for another day.

I do not take it for granted how hard a decision that must have been for her...we wrote letters back and forth for a time, she, bio mom and I.

[RB]

and being a punk in how she is speaking to me...

I know well that we cannot always use our Ace card, and sometime must pick our battles~but being disrespectful with their mouth I will not allow even with my grandchildren~they will honor both myself and my wife, or else I'm going battle with that ugly unthankful spirit.  I may allow a child of mine to have a bad day, but that day better NOT last very long.

[chosenone]

Bless you and your dear wife, Alan. It's not easy, and not what we planned, but sometimes there's no way out. I had my grandson off and on since he was a week old, then full time when he turned 7. He left last summer (when he turned 18) but he's back for a short spell.
I appreciate Memy's words of support for you and would encourage anyone who is reading to offer words of support for others they know who are raising grandchildren. I joined a support group for grandparents raising grandkids and that's where I got most of my support. My parents were very supportive, and that helped, but many other family members, friends, and acquaintances felt the need to say such things to me as-

I'd never raise my grandkids. (ummm, never say never)
IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE TO RAISE HIM!! (Someone has to)
Make them raise their own child! (You can't force someone to raise their kids)

When someone is raising a grandchild, they're older, tired, and needing support - not critical words and judgements.

My husband and I are in contact with a grandmother in the UK who is raising 4 grandsons who are 14, 15(twins) and 16. Her husband died some years ago and its her alone.They had them from a very young age. I have no idea how she does it, she should be having an easy time now but she isn't by any means. She is a Christian and we try and support her(by email, she lives a long way away), but the daily grind must be so hard. They are a real handful as well.

It does annoy me though that the parents will abdicate their responsibilities, in her case her daughter died(long sad story of going off the rails etc) and expect their parents to pick up the pieces at an age when they have so much less energy and should be having some peace and quiet and time for themselves. 

[MeMyself]

I know well that we cannot always use our Ace card, and sometime must pick our battles~but being disrespectful with their mouth I will not allow even with my grandchildren~they will honor both myself and my wife, or else I'm going battle with that ugly unthankful spirit.  I may allow a child of mine to have a bad day, but that day better NOT last very long.

Trust me, Red. I don't allow disrespect either.  BUT, I have to always be on guard because I can return disrespect for disrespect with the best of them.  I was taught well how to break the spirit of another human being.  I know the sin that potentially so easily entangles me...and I have to pause or it will take myself and my household down with it.

She was very respectful after her time of reflection, realizing that her just drawing breath was a great work of God's grace upon my heart for her benefit.   It was just an off day for both of us.  Also, my little dog was being a psycho, and the little gal that I watch during the week was also being a bit pilly.  An off day, an opportunity for grace to abound and I look forward to this new day!