RED SKELTON'S RECIPE for LAUGHTER:

[Ginger Rella]

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail.  For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer.

A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more



RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on  Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.



2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas .



3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.



4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.



5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.



6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread  maker.  She said

, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.   


7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.  I asked where the car was.  She told me, "In the lake."





8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.  Then the mud fell off.



9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late

for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".


10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.



11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.



12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.  I don't like to interrupt her.



13. The last fight was my fault though.  My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!".



Can't you just hear him say all of these?

I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word.  It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.