Christian Forums

Okay, I've just about had enough. For over four years I still haven't had the victory over sexual sin: impure thoughts, pornography, masturbation. Why is the sin of lust such a powerful sin? What I don't understand is this: let me quote you a scripture:

(1 John 4:4) You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world."

Why is it that I've prayed hundreds and hundreds of times to God for deliverance, yet my flesh is usually weak at overcoming the temptation of lust? I've basically begged God to deliver me, to strengthen me, and to set me free. Why do I keep coming back to this sin? Let me describe it to you:

I can go for a few days without falling into the sin of lust. However, it eventually catches up with me and I often feel a very strong drive to give into lust and commit sexual sin. When I'm hooked, it's as though a strong force is driving me to do it. A part of me wants to cry out to God, but it's as though something is holding me back.

What's worse is that I'm fully aware that I'm risking my eternity. I think to myself, "what a fool I am, just stop it." But it's like a force has a hold of me and is driving me to do it. Then afterwards I pray for forgiveness and deliverance, and I may go so long without stumbling, but eventually it comes back and grips me. It's been like this for over 4 years. I have asked for God's help so many times, but yet I keep failing. If I do not overcome this, I will end up in hell. What's going on? Could it be that I'm being oppressed by a demon? If if so, why have I not been delivered?

Please help, please pray for me. My name is Stephen, God knows who I am. I need deliverance.

One thing that helps me is not to try to punish myself; this can be a trick to try to pay God off so I can go back to the pleasure treasure again. So, troubling myself about hell and paining my own self . . . can be just a trick, instead of submitting to our Father for effective correction. Hebrews 12:7-11, James 5:16, Galatians 6:1.

Sexual pleasure is strong, nice, easy to get. So, it can be very desired in order to cover up our feeling of boredom and loneliness and other sorts of misery . . . like a drug or food or adrenaline rush stuff, etc., can be used to try to make us feel alive and not feel our problem emotion stuff.

But it doesn't satisfy, does it? There can be attraction, but not satisfaction.

Only Jesus satisfies us with real honey > "with honey from the rock I would have satisfied you," we have in Psalm 81:16. So, Jesus does care about how we feel, and He gives us better

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)

Stephen,

I'm sorry that you are struggling.
I would suggest that you find a Christian therapist.  You need support.

If you strongly believe that masturbation is sinful, I won't be able to convince you otherwise.  Not all Chrisitians believe it is sinful, including myself.

Sexual thoughts are part of being male.  Our sexuality is God-given.

I believe that no one can lose their salvation.  Not all Christians agree on this. 
We serve a God of grace and love and mercy.

I would encourage you in the struggle against pornography.  Use blocks on the computer.  Don't go to places that are tempting.  Deal with your stress and triggers appropriately.  A therapist can help you with this.

Work on relationships with real people.  Stay busy and productive. 

Do you have anyone else you can confide in or talk to?

Stephen,

Your post brings to mind 2 Corinthians 12:7-10:

QuoteAnd lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me, and he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  Most gladly therefore will I will rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Naturally, you do not have "the abundance of the revelations" that St. Paul had, but you are being asked to bear this weakness for the sake of others, just as Our Lord knew weakness for our sake.  This is all part of His teaching, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." (Mt.16:24)

In other words, don't assume that if God hasn't delivered you (yet), He hasn't heard your prayer.  God does things in His own perfect timing, and although His reasons are often unclear to us, He really does have them!

Above all, remember that the enemy wants you to think you've fallen when you've really only been tempted, and if you have fallen, to think it was probably "the last straw."  God, on the other hand, wants us to understand our weakness and to learn to rely on His strength (I'm still trying to learn this, too).

Sounds like you have the same problem I had as a young man.  I once was enslaved to the M just as you are. 
I just decided one day I was going to stop.  Just stop.  I got tired of looking into the mirror and screaming at myself, "Pervert!  You pervert!" 
I was a bored teenager always loafing around, dipping Skoal and drinking sodas all day in the Summer.  I needed to keep more busy.  So I started donating my time to good causes.  I worked at a homeless shelter and then helped a family rebuild their house after it burned down.  By the time I was done, I had no energy for M. 
I'm not saying that it will work for you.  But you just have to stop.  Now that is all there is to it: Just stop. 
You know where the expression Caught red handed comes from?  In case you don't it goes back to the pioneer days when the children would be done with the harvest and they would find themselves with too much free time.  Well I won't go into the lurid details but let's us just say that there was much peer pressure just like there is today to do M.  Resist conforming and conforming will resist you.  Okay?

This thread really gets my attention because, well, you guessed it, it's a big struggle for me.  Maybe I should have put that in all caps: it's a HUGE struggle.  It was so bad I contemplated Origen's solution more than once (emasculation).  "If thy ____ offend thee, cut it off."  

Right about that time, I started to wonder if I wasn't somehow thinking incorrectly about my God-given sexuality.  I mean, for a lot of guys, the word "automatic" is an understatement for looking at a woman and "checking her out", evaluating her more than perhaps we should.  But it helped me to learn that there is a certain part of our brains that isn't under willful control, but is simply blind instinctual reaction.  That part isn't lust, and it can't sin.  If you look at a woman, and your brain thinks "potential sex partner, and a nice-looking one at that", that's automatic -- God build that in.  That's NOT the same as deciding. Not the same as thinking something like, "Yes, I will sleep with this woman if possible."

I discovered a guy can get completely bogged down in this ONE area of sin, so that, in my case, every waking thought was devoted to the thought "Resist, resist, resist!"  Didn't exactly seem like what I was put here on Earth for, ya know?  JUST resisting ONE temptation and barely being able to focus on anything else, and making no real progress even in that one area.  I mean, either my life could be entirely reorganized around the All-Central Goal of resisting lust, or I could accept the fact that I'm not perfect, aim to do the good that God put me here to do to the best of my ability, and not emotionally crucify myself over problems I haven't been able to completely and permanently solve in my life.  Sin is a struggle, even for Believers.  One doctrine I've heard is that if you keep repeating a sin, you're not Saved and/or will go to Hell.  But, if you think about it, that means you could only do each sin once or twice, or some other small number, and then you'd somehow learn to never do it again.  At that rate, you'd run out of kinds of sin pretty fast, and become the perfect, sinless, flawless human being!   Uh, so, that can't be right.  So, clearly, there have to be some sin(s) which each of us will find an ongoing struggle.  But the starting point is you HAVE to accept where you are NOW, and not pretend to yourself that you're better, or further along the road to righteousness, than you actually are.  If you don't accept yourself and your current status, you're not dealing with reality.  And that WILL cause you to fall, because you won't have been as on-guard as you could've been.

If anything, use an ongoing area of struggle with sin to enable in your life one of the very greatest strengths against future sin that a Christian can possess: humility.  When you mess up, say, "God, I really messed up.  I make no excuses.  It was stupid.  I'm not shocked, but I am sorry."  Mean it.  In private, hang your head in shame before your Heavenly Father, and meditate on His forgiveness.  If you feel it was a BIG slip-up as your slip-ups go, consider laying flat on your face on the floor before God in a spirit of repentence.  Then, after your prayer session is over, don't get puffed-up, thinking it'll be easy to resist the next time -- that's how the Devil gets you. "Pride cometh before a fall."  No, the best success I've had in avoiding future sin is to stay low, humble, meek, aware, and focused on God.  When you do that, Satan will have some disappointments coming his way during at least some of the next times he tries to tempt you.  And if you ever notice Satan feeding your ego -- maybe a hot babe glances your way, or maybe someone overly praises you -- think about that area of sin you struggle with, and be brought low again.  Satan has a tough job causing a humble man to sin.

Just my two cents.

(I like to say, "God twists evil, and perverts it into good."  Just my sense of humor.  I like thinking of God as someone who loves turning to good what Satan meant for evil.  Like taking an area of sin struggle that you can't seem to fully win over, and reaping humility from it.)

Dear ObeyTheGospel [OTG],

How old are you - if you don't mind adding that detail as well?
And are you single or do you have a wife?

But let me attempt to give some insight perhaps to your questions:

Quote
Why is the sin of lust such a powerful sin?

All sin is powerful OTG. Once we sin, we are bound in that sin...we have given place to the Enemy. The remedy is humble owning up to our choosing to sin; or if "overtaken in a fault" (tripped up and ensnared therein), to own up to our responsibility there as well.

To humbly repent of your sins and iniquities requires honest reflection and acceptance of the fact that we are in fact doomed to the eternal flames for breaking God's commandments and violating his Eternal Divine Law.

There is no escape or remedy for sins, iniquities and transgressions against the Law of God, once we have committed them...there is instead, a certain and fearful expectation of judgment to come for the transgressors. So either "eat drink and be merry; for tomorrow we die" or else accept there is no escape as I have said...as scripture has proclaimed - SAVE...SAVE through the Redemption that is IN the Anointed One...Messiah (Christ); and he can and will "save" "to the uttermost" them that come to him!

Hbr 7:12       For the priesthood being changed, there is made of necessity a change also of the law.


Hbr 7:13       For he of whom these things are spoken pertaineth to another tribe, of which no man gave attendance at the altar.


Hbr 7:14       For [it is] evident that our Lord sprang out of Juda; of which tribe Moses spake nothing concerning [this change to come in the Ultimate Final Eternal] priesthood [of Christ].


Hbr 7:15       And it is yet far more evident: for that after the similitude of Melchisedec there ariseth another priest,


Hbr 7:16       Who is made, not after the law of a carnal commandment, but after the power of an endless life.


Hbr 7:17       For he testifieth, Thou [art] a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.


Hbr 7:18       For there is verily a disannulling of the commandment going before for the weakness and unprofitableness thereof.


Hbr 7:19       For the law made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better hope [did]; by the which we draw nigh unto God.


Hbr 7:20   ¶   And inasmuch as not without an oath [he was made priest]:


Hbr 7:21       (For those priests were made without an oath; but this with an oath by him that said unto him, The Lord sware and will not repent, Thou [art] a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec:)


Hbr 7:22       By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better testament [covenant].


Hbr 7:23       And they truly were many priests, because they were not suffered to continue by reason of death:


Hbr 7:24       But this [man], because he continueth [for]ever[/i], hath an unchangeable priesthood.


Hbr 7:25       Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.


Hbr 7:26       For such an high priest became us, [who is] holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens;


Hbr 7:27       Who needeth not daily, as those high priests, to offer up sacrifice, first for his own sins, and then for the people's: for this he did once, when he offered up himself.


Hbr 7:28       For the law maketh men high priests which have infirmity; but the word of the oath, which was since the law, [maketh] the Son, who is consecrated for evermore.



So, as damnable - and unendingly damnable - our sins committed against God and his Law are, the truly good news is that Christ has saved to the uttermost them that come to him. Now, we can begin the sanctification process.

It is a process, a lifelong unending process that will demand one's all; and still we will have done nothing to warrant God's acceptance of our souls, our self; save he loves us and sent his Son to redeem us from what we were and still remain powerless and hopelessly unable to do for ourselves.

This is no excuse or license to sin (transgress the Law). And if there is a line we can cross where we are so fallen away from grace and have turned so much so away from God, as to begin to have the sins we commit afterwards applied to our personal account...I am not certain either way. I do not debate that issue. I do not want to find out by falling away, that the teaching that claims we can never 'lose' salvation, is based upon an incomplete understanding of the "whole counsel of God". I believe we are not to try to provoke God, but to love obey and enjoy him and his goodness to us.

I am very keenly aware of the fact that the goodness, the forbearance, the patience and longsuffering of God needs to be experienced to really appreciate it. But I can also testify that you do not want to 'test' these attributes of God's Eternal Goodness and Holiness, Justness and Righteousness in a vain show. The mercy of God is indeed higher than the clouds or heavens. And to experience this being displayed towards your (one's) vile iniquities and sins is if not the most, than very close I believe to the most staggeringly humbling and awe inspiring experience a human can go through...one that makes you keenly conscious of the beauty and kindness of the Almighty, and though it gives to you but a mere glimpse of the true magnitude...the height...the depth...and the broadness of the mercies of God; that glimpse is perhaps all that a human can withstand as an experience without dying.


All to say that yes, the sin of lust is powerful; and begs the question: how does one find the power and will to overcome it and gain the victory? It will require everything that scripture requires of you to 'labor to enter into the rest' that God desires for. The rest that you will begin to experience, once you pursue God to quench the thirst and hunger he has placed in our heats for more and more of him. We will need though to cease from indulging in either excuses why we don't seek him this way. One needs to come to the place where they stop stumbling blindly in the dark. But begin to open one's eyes to the promises of God; and the fact that these precious promises are true; but will hardly ever be realized until the believer seeks the Lord with all of his heart...and labors to enter into his rest; the rest that is found when one begins to worship the Father in what Christ called "spirit and in truth".

Pray, pray, pray yes, but begin to focus and believe that there is more, much more to your 'Christianity' and relationship to God, then a cerebral collection of facts about God, and 'factual' awareness about various things God 'says' in scripture concerning his commands and his call to seek him and that he will be found of you, WHEN you seek him with your whole heart.  

The power of sins grip can be broken, but I am not very confident at all that it will be apart from coming to the place where you do indeed worship in Spirit in a truthful way.

Think here and be honest with yourself. You know that scripture calls and encourages and even commands man to seek God, but that there is a condition to find and being found of him. That condition is only meet by exercising true unfeigned faith in the Word of God, believing that God IS "a rewarder of them that diligently seek him". Focus here on the meaning and ramifications of the word "diligently". Diligence in a word can be understood as requiring intense labor...sweat! Before rest is found, labor must be performed.

"Labour" "to enter into" God's "rest:
"Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief."

Overcoming sinful habits requires this kind and degree of labor, in order to enter into the rest of God and experience the reality that He really is for us. And if He is for us, and we are actually conscious of this and resting in that reality; then who can be against us? Who indeed could be against us that matters anyway?

But there is a point in where the work of laboring to enter into his rest by drawing  closer and closer to God in prayer, where all of a sudden, the effort ceases; and the resting begins. And all I can say here is that you'll know it when it happens.

Just persevere, keep keeping on in your diligent search to enter into the presence (and thus what will be experienced as the rest of God), until you experience it. And it is an experience, not mere further accumulation of 'knowledge' and 'facts' about God or about the 'Bible'. The cause of what I believe to be a widespread dearth of spiritual fervor, spiritual power and spiritual testimony among and within professing Christendom today (and yesteryear), to me can be traced straight to the success of Satan to divert believers from attempting this one very vital discipline; and our failure to recognize this as a stratagem of his. We instead find it easier to blame God for our lack of willingness and power to overcome sin and gain the victory. Don't let this be your testimony along with so many.


As you do this, you'll want to give up. Why? The bottom line bare-bones facts are because of your (all of our) slothfulness...laziness...and even more frankly and to the point; it is due to "wicked unbelief" on our part. We deceive ourselves into believing God has not come through. Again, we blame God for what is actually our fault and our failure to accept responsibility for our own unwillingness to persevere in fervent prayer. If we do not seek him with ALL our heart, whose fault is that? The promise is there, just ready for someone to take it to heart and prove whether God is true or a liar.

If one has never personally experienced this spiritual phenomenon, there is no track record to lean on (as yet) that would assure one's heart and mind that this is a reality. Experience this 'mountain top' experience one time, and you'll forever be unable to deny that God means exactly what he has said.

Oh, you know that scripture clearly presents this as a reality; but without having experienced it as yet; and given the unknown variables in 'the equation', the natural (carnal) mind is not willing to invest any real effort on a 'lark'. A 'lark'? Is God's promises a lark'? By no means. That though is the attitude of the flesh and the natural mind, it is something that requires serious consideration to overcome. God promises us that we can know him in an intimate way in the here and now - not just later 'pie in the sky' stuff. Where does that thought originate: God; man or Satan? That 'thought' is the Enemies direct influence upon the soul, to do all that he can to convince you to write this all off as fanciful musings (and our flesh is right there to follow the Enemies lead if it has it's way - watch out, the flesh can bribe the will to be dishonest with the truth if you are not alert to this subtle influence).

Why? Why work so hard to divert our attentions from obeying God in this area? Why not allow us to test God's promises here, to find out for certain ourselves that God is a liar...as Satan claims or implies? What a grand achievement for Satan that would be, to not only allow us but to help us to discover that God 'lied' to us about being able to develop a real intimate relationship with him on this side of eternity. So why doesn't Satan do all that he can to motivate us to "Ask, Seek and Knock" to seek hard after God? And so why...why work so hard instead, to divert the attention and efforts of God's children in this world from this 'discovery'? Simple answer: Because God is a NOT a liar. His promises in this area, as in all others, is true.

So does it not follow that fervently pursuing to "seek the LORD with all of thine heart" in order to experience His abiding presence (to worship him in spirit and in truth), and be full of the Spirit through the day, is a preeminent goal we all are to have? Yes. Its obviously either the or one of the few most important things for us to discover and to develop (after our conversion experience). Otherwise Satan would not have such great success in thwarting us from seeking God this way. He is more than content to have believers move about on this earth, as long as they are no real threat to his plans. Which is to steal, kill and destroy - in every area he can. We can overcome him with three things:
"And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death."




Now to another aspect of your post:

Our sins of this and that - such as worrying and fretting about lustful thoughts and all other types of sins, is dealt with in Christ; as is our source of power to overcome our enemies: Satan; our flesh; self sufficiency; pride, ignorance and fear.


Let me speak here very briefly now about adultery, lusting and natural drives:

While Christ did explain that adultery is not just committed on a physical level; but that it can be committed as well, as the result of lusting after a woman in one's heart; I want you to think clearly about what scripture says and does not say in this area - that is to say, you need to understand I think as well, what adultery is not.

Physical adultery occurs when a man lays with whom: A virgin (a non-espoused virgin)? A widow? No. The answer is: With another man's wife:
"thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife" ).
"Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour's wife, to defile thyself with her."
"Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife,...or any [thing] that [is] thy neighbour's."
"So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent."
"They were [as] fed horses in the morning: every one neighed after his neighbour's wife."


So too, mental adultery in the heart only occurs when one lusts after another man's wife and desires to take and have her for himself - that is coveting thy neighbor's wife - not desiring or being attracted to his daughter or a widow...etc. How else would we pursue taking such as our wives? Lets us not be overly pious about things, and distort or deny that God infused our human nature with for the purposes that they were designed for.  

Now lusting after an unmarried woman is not without issues - just not adultery. We are commanded not to covet thy neighbor's wife, goods etc, including his daughters. But what is coveting? Is it wrong to have thoughts that come natural to men about woman. The answer, no; unless we overstep the bounds of propriety. Figure that out and hopefully you'll find that not all attempts to address these issues, or the issue of finding release for oneself, is an act of sin that will 'send you to hell'.

Also be careful not to interpret anything I or others say to excuse sins of the mind; just think through the passages that give you pause and trouble you, such as the passage in Matthew 5:27-28:
"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."; and rightly dissect it fro what it is saying. All thoughts of woman are not sinful. But one must be guided by faith and the restrictions that scripture imposes upon our thoughts and actions. Don't covet in your heart another man's wife, as it can lead to you trying to take and lay with her in reality - in a physical way. But to desire another man's daughter to take her as your wife...well, if he is willing to give her to you as your wife, and of course she is willing for you to take her; then there you go. Just don't enter into a fantasy world of this or that, where you end up sinning against yourself, others and God.

Think about these things.

But more importantly, begin to think on things above. Start by cleansing yourself of the notion that you can live without having your spiritual thirst and hunger satisfied in Christ.  



Hopefully these following questions of yours have been addressed somewhat as well in all of the above:

Quote
Why do I keep coming back to this sin?

Quote
What's going on? Could it be that I'm being oppressed by a demon? If if so, why have I not been delivered?

p.progress

That old personal demon lust...

"We have seen the enemy, and the enemy is... us."

When the temptation comes it so often seems like fulfilling a need; a desire; a want. And it makes sense at the time as much as quenching your thirst with a tall cool glass of lemonade. "Ahhhhhhhh."

]]]> Just took a sip of Arnold Palmer iced tea. Yep, I went ahhhhh too.  <[[[

And sometimes when you KNOW it's trouble and you are RISKING everything...  you still do it anyway..

And guilt can pound on you for days and days and nights... or it passes quickly at times...

And then come the promises, the oaths, the bargains and the swelling prayers of faith and how we are never never ever going to do that again...

You mean this???

Haven't a clue what you're talking about. 

At least that's how most respond to this. They give us the CHRISTIAN FACE... and perhaps they really are beating the odds... for a time... but there is this reversion to perversion (all sexual sin that is not by the book Bible is a perversion...  which is why we have so little moral capital over the rest of the perverts).

I could quote many verses from looking to showing too much skin (ladies) but I will go even deeper...

We do not live by the spirit but by the flesh and then we keep wondering how and why the flesh keeps winning all the struggles.

If we truly lived by the spirit we could discipline the flesh and sexual temptations would be no more tempting than breaking with potty training.

Most of us have had that mountaintop experience with God. We didn't want sex, we didn't want food...  we were on a higher plain. And the thought of doing ANYTHING to break that fellowship with God was revolting and vulgar.

Satan's side has taught the Church how to live in the flesh and think we are doing just fine. Millions and millions of priestly duties are not realized or carried out because the Church is too busy living worldly. And where we are is where it leads to live this way... wondering how or why we cannot break the cycle of sin, repent, sin repent sin ad infinitum.

When we face Christ in the judgment (all will be judged,,, believers will not be judged in the great white throne judgment but we will be judged in the bema seat judgment)... and that pure pure face looks with those piercing eyes and he asks you "What did you do with the time I gave you at the cost of my own blood?"

After taking a nervous gulp... "I, uh, made a million dollars selling wigits to suckers..." or "I kept up with the Jonses as best I could..." or how about "I could not keep my eyes off the scantily clad females and rushed to be alone as often as I could..."

Let's be honest.

How many believers today expect to receive the crown of righteousness the Apostle Paul spoke of?

Or a hearty "Well done good and faithful servant... enter into your Master's joy..." ?

We need to remind ourselves what all is at stake... but first we need to deliberately live life by the spirit rejecting the life of the flesh... or we needn't bother.

IF we are truly saved...

1 Corinthians 5:5 (NIV)
5 hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.

That is, IF we are truly saved...

Matthew 7:21-23 (NIV)
21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?'
23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Any o' yous guys driven out any demons lately?

Hows about performing miracles?

Nah... we are losing battles with lust...

And you always will until you start living by the spirit and discipline the flesh. The rest are only formulas and pep talks.

There is a serious "M" epidemic going on in this country right now and something needs to be done about it.  Most folks I talk to about this just laugh in my face.  Laughing about "M" is sinful and childish.
Apostle Paul said to put away childish things.  
In 1 Corinthians 3:11, When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

I am of the opinion that Masturbation in and of itself is not a sin....

Shocking....

That said.... What is going through your mind when you masturbate can be and usually is a sin.

If you are married I don't think you are sinning if you are thinking/remembering your wife and being with her.

But really most men do not think about thier wives.

If you are married you might try spending all of that energy on your wife and not allow yourself to think about another woman.

You do choose who you let yourself think about... raise your standard to your wife and let no one else meet your standards of who you want to think about.

You might find that you find yourself more in love with your wife. But you have to romance your wife... spend your sexual energy and sexual thoughts on your wife... imagine how you can make her night (or whatever part of the day you convince her to pleasure you in.) Plan ways to make it worth her while... don't over do it. She will not have the same energy you do but with careful attention paid to your sexual relationship with your wife you might find those fantasies  pale in comparisons to your reality with the woman you have given your whole body and heart to.

Marriage requires a lot of work. A good sexual relationship with your wife requires a lot of work. If you invest your energies into your marriage you might find sex with you wife preferable to your fantasies.

ObeyTheGospel,
How have you been handling things?  (no pun intended)
I know it must be rough having to deal with this when all you really want to do is get on with serving the Lord.  But I want you to know that you don't have to keep beating yourself up (no pun intended) over this.  If all else fails and the temptation to Lust is still with you, don't feel embarrassed about getting help from your doctor (again, no pun intended).  If you request it, I'm sure you can get a prescription for Zoloft or Paxil.  Both of these medications will hamper getting Erections.  Stopping Erections before they get started is like 90% of the battle. 
Ask your doctor if Zoloft might be right for you.

Quote from: ObeyTheGospel on Fri Apr 13, 2012 - 21:11:09
Okay, I've just about had enough. For over four years I still haven't had the victory over sexual sin: impure thoughts, pornography, masturbation. Why is the sin of lust such a powerful sin? What I don't understand is this: let me quote you a scripture:

(1 John 4:4) You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world."

Why is it that I've prayed hundreds and hundreds of times to God for deliverance, yet my flesh is usually weak at overcoming the temptation of lust? I've basically begged God to deliver me, to strengthen me, and to set me free. Why do I keep coming back to this sin? Let me describe it to you:

I can go for a few days without falling into the sin of lust. However, it eventually catches up with me and I often feel a very strong drive to give into lust and commit sexual sin. When I'm hooked, it's as though a strong force is driving me to do it. A part of me wants to cry out to God, but it's as though something is holding me back.

What's worse is that I'm fully aware that I'm risking my eternity. I think to myself, "what a fool I am, just stop it." But it's like a force has a hold of me and is driving me to do it. Then afterwards I pray for forgiveness and deliverance, and I may go so long without stumbling, but eventually it comes back and grips me. It's been like this for over 4 years. I have asked for God's help so many times, but yet I keep failing. If I do not overcome this, I will end up in hell. What's going on? Could it be that I'm being oppressed by a demon? If if so, why have I not been delivered?

Please help, please pray for me. My name is Stephen, God knows who I am. I need deliverance.

I skimmed through your replies and could not believe what no one had posted.

First, you cannot fight against this and win with the flesh, because your flesh is the one that you are trying to fight against...in other words, you cannot cut off your right hand WITH your right hand, it just doesn't work like that.

Second, read Romans 7:14-25 again and realize that this is you.

Third, God seldom simply delivers people from addictions of any kind (unless it is really demonically induced), because you need to grow strong against it so that it will not come back to attack you again later. This is something that you must do yourself (some will scoff at that, but finish reading my post before laughing to scorn).

Fourth, what breaks the addiction of the flesh is the inner man of the spirit. This is Dr. SwordMaster's prescription for you:

1.  Read the Bible at least an hour a day. You wash and renew your mind with God's Word, and if your mind is not renewed and being kept clean by the washing of His word, then you are defeating your purpose in desiring to be free.

2.  Spend at least half an hour a day in personal worship of God. When we worship in song, we are "making love" to God, we are emptying ourselves of ourselves and being filled with Him. In worship we enter into the very presence of God, to the point that if you are worshiping using ACTUAL worship songs (not just songs that you hear on K-love or Air 1), you come to the place where you can actually feel the presence of God. The more time you spend in God's presence, you become saturated by His presence and His Spirit - I am talking not only your spirit but your flesh as well, and the "water" of the Spirit will flood the flesh and begin to kill it (the sinful nature, that is, the desire to commit sin).

3.  Spend at least an hour a day in prayer. Some go, "Are you crazy!!!" HELLO!!!!! If we are truly Christians then we desire fellowship with God, otherwise we are just playing church and are living religiosity rather than walking with God in truth. The usual response is, "What can I pray for for an hour?" I'll give you a hing...our missionaries in Muslim countries pray for 3 hours every morning before they leave the house, because if they do not have the leading and spiritual sensitivity in order to hear the leading and guiding voice of the Spirit, today could be their last day on earth. Talk to God about your spouse, your children, the issues with your car, the salvation of people you know, about things you have read in the Bible that you don't quite understand...your taxes...anything and everything that you can think of, no matter how...silly...you may think that is. Soon, you may even find yourself praying for over 2 hours a day and not even realizing it.

4.  Walk and abide in the New Covenant. That means read I John, it tells you everything that you need to know in order to walk in the Covenant and abide in Christ (God, which ever you prefer, they are one and the same). When you walk in love towards people (loving on people), you are abiding in God and according to I John 1:7 your sins are taken care of even before you finish doing them.

5.  Don't focus on the sexual sin, focus on the core problem...that you do not yet have a renewed mind in Christ, and work on that issue. Little by little, the urges to commit sexual sin will dissipate all on their own as you focus on spending more and more time in the light of the presence of God rather than the light of your TV or computer screen.

Blessings!