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Slightly confused.

Started by Piouspriest, Sat Jun 16, 2012 - 09:36:13

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Piouspriest

Hi,

So I was going out with a girl for about 2 years and about a year into the relationship we went to college. The distance means that we don't get to see each other more than once a month. We spend a lot of time on the phone and internet together and our relationship is really great. She has had a tough 6 months emotionally and last week when I went to see her she said that she felt she was sharing and working out her problems with me instead of God and that she felt that seeing as we are both going away for 2 months to different places for work that we should break up so she can spend some time individually with God and offer up a lot of problems she has recently had to God. There wasn't much I could say and too be honest she felt so strongly that I didn't want to stop her. However, over the last few weeks she has text me saying she cared about me and the last words she said to me before she went were, "I love you". I am just wondering what anyone makes of this situation, I love her and too be honest I really don't want to lose her. I have prayed over it and I think that potentially my best option is spending the next 2 months with God, sending her a few letters and hoping that God will reveal his plan. Any advice?

wolflet7

It sounds as if she can't make up her mind.  Maybe she's creating this distance from you so that, hopefully, you'll pursue her more?  If that's the case, maybe the long distance relationship is harder than it seems for her. 

My take home advice would be to let God control things.  If she told you that she needs a break from the relationship and get right with God, then she shouldn't be texting "I love you" to you, let alone saying it in person.  Sure, you guys can text and talk on Facebook, but a break means a break - no "friends with benefits" until you two are officially back together.

JohnDB

Sometimes women want you to fight for them. Even if the one you have to fight is them.

Her initial excuse is just that. An excuse. She hates that you are so far away and hates that she is having to become more emotionally independant.

If you two end up married then she is to lean on you as you follow and chase after God. (Following your leadership to God).

But Godly men are hard to come by for women. Sae la Vie.

DaveW

It is impossible (without direct revelation from God) to know exactly what is going on in someone else's mind. 

That said, I have a somewhat different read on the situation.  It could be that she had become too emotionally dependant on you (and truly may have fallen in love) but sees a lack in her relating to the Lord.  Properly, she wants time to shore up that relationship but is now experiencing "withdrawl" symptoms as the emotional support she once had is gone (or at least lessened).

We NEVER NEVER NEVER want to get in the way of someone's relationship to the Lord, not even a spouse or child.

If you did not sense from the Lord that this seperation was from HIM, I would suggest that you prayerfully and patiently wait it out. (be neutral)  The summer is not that long.

If you DID sense it was from HIM, then when she calls or texts or whatever, redirect her back to HIM. Again, the summer is not that long.

As long as you both keep seeking HIM, I can guarentee you He will watch over your relationship together.

Rainne

well honestly, only she can really answer that question. all we can do is offer speculation on what she meant. There are a few possibilities.

1) it's really hard to be in a long distance relationship. Sometimes in order to keep the relationship strong a person decides to make sacrifices to their personal growth.

2) she's afraid that you may not be as into the relationship as she is and it is easier to let you go then to be hurt later on.

3) she's just overwhelmed with life and just needs some reassurance that you are there for her and she can lean on you safely.

That said, emotions don't just go away and even if we did the right thing by breaking up, it's really tempting to hold on to the familiar and want to be back right where we were. My advice is to pray about it and ask God to show both of you clearly where you are heading whether it be a relationship or a friendship. This time apart may not seem like it now, but it's a blessing as it's an opportunity for you both to seek God's will on this matter.

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