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There are two things that bother me about sex. I am so happy to find this forum because I am too ashame to ask anybody about his. So thanks for helping me. I am sorry this is so long but I want you to see the whole picture.

We have been married for six month, been together for a 18 month.  My husband is 10 years older, I am 25 he 35.  He is long distance truck driver so he not at home a lot.  I am a Christian because I was bought up in church but my husband has said the pray to be born again but he haven't gone much further partly because he is not at home a lot but partly because  he just don't seem to want to come all the way out of the world.  To be truth, he still have a lot of street in him but he does go to church with me whenever he is home.  But he have a lot of street life still in him. Because I know he still cusses but he never cuss at me or around me. 

But anyway here is a little bit of background on my question. I was a virgin when we got married but he had been with a lot of women.  He was what you would call a player but when he became a Christian he stopped it. Anyway we only could afford a 3 day trip to Bahamas for the honeymoon and I was worried about how it was going to be for me but he made it a very great honeymoon after that first awkward night  I was more relax. I had even bought a  bikini by mistake from my shower because I would never wear it on the beach. Anyway I got up the nerve to try to break the awkward about sex so I put it on when we were going to the beach with only  the thought I would trick him and just model it for him and then change it. When I came out of the bathroom I told him to close his eyes and then open and he was like OMG! Because the bikini was just a little to small up top but I have a really great figure, not to brag  or anything. So I striked my best model pose and model the bikini for him and then jumped in his lap and we didn't get to the beach that evening LOL!
But here is where I feel somewhat shamed.  It was like that was just letting it all loose and I was no longer awkward with sex and it was great.  But here is my first question of what the trouble is as far as my husband.  We was watching the football game and he loves to see Victor Cruze do the salsa after a touchdown .  Now I don't really go to club or anything or even play music except gospel but I  had learn to do the salsa before I got married with me and my roommate from watching Dancing with the Stars. So I jump up and say I can do the salsa and I did it for him for a few seconds and he just staring at me and I say What??? Thinking he gone to say you suppose to be a Christian but he just look at me and say "baby, you so hot" and I frown up and just plopped beside him back on the couch and say I don't want to be hot  I want to be a virtus woman.  And he just bust out laughing and this is where he hurt my feeling because I think it's true.  He said I am over sexed. He say you think I don't know that all I got to do is kiss you and you are ready.  But he is right but  he is very good with hugging and kissing he does it so tender and sweet and I can't help it.    But I do feel a little ashame of myself that maybe I am over sexed.  At first I am thinking it is all because I love him so, so much and he is away from home so much that there is never enough time together.  And I am thinking because he was the first God has bond me with him so strongly.  He treat me so good.  But he cannot kiss and hug me without me wanting sex even though I don't tell him that.  So we are having sex almost every night that he is home except for my period.  He never ask me for oral sex and I am so happy because I don't want that.  He told me that whatever you don't like we won't do that.  But still he tease me about  being hot like that. It doesn't seem like a Christian woman should do that and it don't seem like my husband should say I'm hot.
Here is the very worse thing that I think if I'm over sexed like he say will somebody else make me like that? I am so scared because like I say I have a very good figure and some men at work are always try to hit on me but I tell them to get lost before I got married because I know they only want one thing. But now that I am married they don't try to mess with me no more anyway. But what if they did I am scare would I react like I do with my husband or will it not be the same? Please don't think bad about me but I think about this.  I would never hurt my husband and I will think I don't want anybody but him but since I see how easy it is for him to have sex with me as much as he wants I hope and pray that it is just for him that I have these fellings.  Nobody at work really try to hit on me and men in the street just whistle but I ignore them. Please is this wrong for me to just be so ready for sex all the time and if it is how can I change myself?

And is it bad for my husband to tease me like this that I am over sex and that I am "hot"? I have a feeling that I wouldn't mind him saying that if it is okay for a husband to say that for his wife.

belovedwife I dont know what you are worried about. Enjoy the sex with you husband. Thats what you are supposed to do! What is wrong with a man thinking his wife is hot or attractive??? We are in our 50's and my husband still finds me attractive and 'hot'. As long as your focus is on each other then why worry. Sex in marriage is good and godly. You have only been married a few months so are in that exciting 'honeymoon' period, so things may settle down a bit after a couple of years, but you are worrying over nothing. Read song of songs in the Bible, its all in there. 

Oh thank you so much Chosenone especially that you are older and more experience than me I can except that! I think I was worry because  "hot" seem more like that street talk because like I say  he still have some of that street in him and thinking it is for fast women who are not married.  And about myself I am thinking about that scripture that says do everything in moderation but I was too ashame to ask my Pastor or his wife. So thanks a lot. But I don't know Song of Song is that the book of Solamon?

But thank you again so much I can stop feeling ashame.

Chosen is correct.


Have fun.

You may benefit from a book like "Sheet Music" by Lehman to understand the beauty of sex in marriage.

Quote from: belovedwife on Fri Nov 30, 2012 - 22:18:35
Oh thank you so much Chosenone especially that you are older and more experience than me I can except that! I think I was worry because  "hot" seem more like that street talk because like I say  he still have some of that street in him and thinking it is for fast women who are not married.  And about myself I am thinking about that scripture that says do everything in moderation but I was too ashame to ask my Pastor or his wife. So thanks a lot. But I don't know Song of Song is that the book of Solamon?

But thank you again so much I can stop feeling ashame.

Yes it is Songs of soloman. It is about godly sex in marriage. Actually we are reading a good book at the moment called 'Intimacy Ignited' by Dillow and Pintus, and it based on the Song of Soloman. I dont know anywhere that we are told to have sex in moderation. There is another one just for women called 'Intimate issues' by Dillow and Pintus which is all about the questions that Christian women ask about sex.

Enjoy what you have and what you do. and be thankful that your husband finds you attractive.

Hello still about the same issue and please I understand this may sound like a silly question but it has to do with same one above.  My husband get home usualy from the road on late Saturday night. He usualy really tired and I'm usualy sleep and he don't wake me up. but he have been gone a long time so he might wake up early for sex before getting ready for church. which I think from what everyone say this is no problem. But usually when we sitting in church he will put his arm around me as many husbands do. And every minutes or so he will just rub my sholders while he have his arm there, or he will squeeze my shoulder a little. I'm ashame to say this does arouse me.  then I start to think about the sex we just had that morning while I'm suppose to be listening to the word. Then I will just say keep saying stop clean up your thoughts over and over and I can focus again. But then he will rub or squeeze slightly and it will start all over again.

So I'm thinking to tell my husband honey please I don't mind you put your arm around me but please don't squeeze or rub because it make not focus on the word.  You already know that you so easy turn me on. So I'm asking if should be okay. One thing I never want to push my husband away or anything like that. And as my Mother say you just leave his relationship with the Lord to the Lord and pray for him. He adore you and treat you good so you just pray for him but don't bug him about anything on his walk with the Lord. I would ask her if I should say that to him about squeezing my shoulders in church but I kind of ashame to let her know it arouse me and make me think about sex in church

I wonder now do you think i am oversex for thinking about sex in church. LOL! But I really would like advice for telling me husband don't do that in church. Thanks

I think that if you tell him that in a loving way, I am sure he will understand. Just say that you like him doing it a lot, but not in church, because it is distracting for you. I am sure that he wont be offended. 

I think when you're married you have every right to want to have sex with your husband. If he thinks you're hot, and if he didn't why would a very experienced man ask you to be his life companion, then go with that.
And I don't think it's wrong to think about sex in church. God gave you a libido and that he is the creator of all that exists, you're not about to make God blush.

There is nothing wrong with desiring your husband at any time, but his overt affection in the church setting can be a problem. Of course you want to keep your mind on the word and what is being taught, and I commend you for your focus!!

It is my opinion, but it is a definite distraction to see husbands and wives acting out in that manner in the church service. Perhaps you can focus more on how it makes others around you feel. Anything that takes a person's mind off what the Lord is saying through His servants in the church setting, no matter for how long,  is a definite no-no.

In a few years this will not be a problem.

And paying attention to your husband instead of a dry sermon is NORMAL. Don't let the "brow beaters" or finger pointers rattle you at all. You are just a perfect and normal wife. (For your husband)

You are EXACTLY perfect with your desires and do not need to feel guilty about a thing that you have described here to us.

Quote from: JohnDB on Mon Dec 10, 2012 - 11:46:01
In a few years this will not be a problem.

And paying attention to your husband instead of a dry sermon is NORMAL. Don't let the "brow beaters" or finger pointers rattle you at all. You are just a perfect and normal wife. (For your husband)

You are EXACTLY perfect with your desires and do not need to feel guilty about a thing that you have described here to us.

I completely agree.   

And your husband telling you that you are hot is GRRRRRRRRREAT!

Plenty of guys would kill to have a wife like you, trust me!   You and he were created by a loving God, for this very purpose....so max it out and enjoy it, girlfriend!   

Quote from: JohnDB on Mon Dec 10, 2012 - 11:46:01
In a few years this will not be a problem.

And paying attention to your husband instead of a dry sermon is NORMAL. Don't let the "brow beaters" or finger pointers rattle you at all. You are just a perfect and normal wife. (For your husband)

You are EXACTLY perfect with your desires and do not need to feel guilty about a thing that you have described here to us.

Why wont it be a problem in a few years John? A good sex life doesnt have to fade over time.

Oh thanks everyone I had not checked this forum in a while because guess what? I had left myself log on and my husband came up to our computer and saw that I had posted and I was SOOOOO embarass.  LOL! And when he see something embarass me he will tease me about it (which I sometimes don't like, HUSBAND!!!).  But he would say after my post about putting the arm around in church, while we were driving to church he would say don't think about us in church, you know we are too hot for church. LOL! I laugh but turn red in the face too.  He was checking the forum and saying come and see what everyone has to say, I'm right about thinking my wife is hot!

Well, he is on the road now and i can't wait until he get back which is Christmas Eve, it seems like it has been FOREVER.  And thank you guys for your answers too.  Everyone have a Merry Christmas and  a Bless New Year. And if you read this honey I LOVE YOU!