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Anyone out there divorced? I was married for 15 years and have three kids. Their mom cheated on me and married the other man. I know I have the right to move on , still for me getting married in the eyes of God was a onetime thing. She was the first person I was ever with and I honestly regret having been with the 1 other woman after the divorce. People call me weird and crazy they can't believe I haven't dated since 2008. I just don't feel it is right for me to date knowing in my heart I feel I can't remarry as I feel marriage is meant to be a onetime thing...Anyone have any advice.

Quote from: Michael_McK on Sat Nov 23, 2013 - 00:01:13
Anyone out there divorced? I was married for 15 years and have three kids. Their mom cheated on me and married the other man. I know I have the right to move on , still for me getting married in the eyes of God was a onetime thing. She was the first person I was ever with and I honestly regret having been with the 1 other woman after the divorce. People call me weird and crazy they can't believe I haven't dated since 2008. I just don't feel it is right for me to date knowing in my heart I feel I can't remarry as I feel marriage is meant to be a onetime thing...Anyone have any advice.

I think 1 Corinthians 7 applies here, specifically:

Quote from: 1 Cor 7Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.  But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Please take a moment to read the chapter.  I also think the theme in Romans 14 applies.  If you feel you should not be married again, then do not get married.  Do not let anyone tell you that should, and do not be concerned with what other people think.  It is between you and God. 

I pray you will find peace in keeping your station in life.

 Hi Michael,
I have been divorced for 7 years, and I think I understand a little of what your feeling.
My first instinct is to ask you a bunch of questions and really delve deeper into this with you, but my short and to the point answer to you would be:
Yes, it is definitely God's desire that marriage be a onetime thing and that would be preferable, but unfortunately that's not how things work out sometimes. Fortunately for us, God still loves us and can renew and restore our lives.
So my personal opinion is this: That within His grace and wisdom of knowing the human heart, God purposely and lovingly gave a great big OK for people in your situation, so they could move past the hurt and betrayal, and go on to find love and happiness again.
It doesn't mean you have to. That's up to you. But I just want to encourage you that God put that option there out of love for you, if you want it.

Hi Michael  Of course marriage for life is the ideal, but as anything in life, how often do we meet those ideals in many area of life? Also marriage involves 2 people obviously, and if one wants out, then the other cant stop them no matter how much they may want to.

Both my husband and I are divorced after long first marriages(23 and 25 years)Neither of us planned or wanted our marriage to end, and what led to them ending wasn't of our doing.

Both of us have biblical reason for divorce and in my husbands case it was her who divorced him anyway.

Neither of us had any doubts about marrying again, but in my case it was 4 years before I could even think of meeting anyone else and 6 years before I met my lovely godly husband. Our marriage is amazing and God is blessing us and using us in so many ways.My kids adore my husband(they don't see their own dad)and he has changed my life. My life is far far better than it was in my first marriage, and God does restore all that we have had stolen.

I have read and studied widely on this subject since it happened to me, and I would say from what God has taught me, that your wife's adultery broke the marriage covenant. The legal divorce was just legally ending what had already ended anyway, and I would also say that God recognises that divorce ends a marriage even if it wasnt His desire.

Therefore you are single, free to marry again IF you want to. IF being the operative word. If you don't want to and feel uncomfortable doing so, then don't. However I would say, be open to the possibility in the future if God brings that chance along, because he does Himself say that it isnt good for us to be alone, and most of us do function better in a good marriage. There really is a new beginning after divorce and a good future, whether alone or married.

If you are not struggling with being celibate(see the verse that Bond quoted) and if you feel quite happy alone, then you may want to stay single. You may feel differently in the future, but I sort of understand because if my husband died, I doubt I would want to marry again either.

Quote from: Michael_McK on Sat Nov 23, 2013 - 00:01:13
Anyone out there divorced? I was married for 15 years and have three kids. Their mom cheated on me and married the other man. I know I have the right to move on , still for me getting married in the eyes of God was a onetime thing. She was the first person I was ever with and I honestly regret having been with the 1 other woman after the divorce. People call me weird and crazy they can't believe I haven't dated since 2008. I just don't feel it is right for me to date knowing in my heart I feel I can't remarry as I feel marriage is meant to be a onetime thing...Anyone have any advice.

Greetings Michael,

I have only been married to one woman for forty seven years, and agree that married is until death~but, God's word does provide a means for us to remarry if one desires to do so, and if one needs to do so, so that he or she does not burn, which is a natural thing created by God himself.  It comes naturally, you need no pills to make it work, and within itself, is not evil, but good.

I do not need to dive into your personal life, you said enough~your wife left you and her children for another man, that's adultery, and scriptural grounds by God to remarry, if you desire, or need to do so.  

According to Mark 10:11,12~your wife and the man that she married are living in adultery, yet you are free to remarry according to Matthew 19:9.  The sin fornication, does include adultery. 

You should not overly condemn yourself where God God does not.  By you not remarrying, may create  a sin of allowing your self to burn, that may lead to other sins. Again, this is something that you must decide between you and God, and by using his word as your guidance, the only way that he speaks to us. 

May the Lord be with thy spirit and guide you into the truth and into peace with your self and with him.

RB