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    Sorry if this gets long. @ years ago my oldest daughter waited till she was a senior in highschool to start rebelling,lying ect. She turned 18 a few months before graduating then moved in with her boyfriend and his mother. She dropped out of school and finished online. It broke my heart. It wasnt what I had planned for her. Fast forward my second daughter now 18 and a senior in highschool flipped out on me today for pretty much nothing. She told me our relationship is dead and that I just dont care about her and I overreact oh and I am the B word. I tried to stay calm and told her to give me her phone she said you cant have my fing phone. She has never before talked to me like this. She stuck the phone down her shirt and I tried to get it she said she would call the police if I touched her. This stems from a few months ago I started limiting her contact with a young man who basically treated her like crap. I realize she is almost an adult. This is just heart breaking and it feels like history is repeating itself. She says she dosent want to live here anymore. Umm I dont know where to send her. What in the world do I do she turns 18 in January. Please any advice or prayers would be welcome.

Hi and welcome. You dont mention their dad, is he on the scene? If not I do understand. I was a single mum for 6 years when 2 of my children were in their teens. Not easy.
Your daughters are both adults now(one nearly) and there is little you can do legally. If they choose to leave home then you cant stop them. However there are boundaries that need setting. You need to say to the youngest, that if she wishes to remain living with you, then cursing, swearing and being so rude to you are not acceptable. Set basic ground rules and stick to them.

Apart from that, I would suggest that you love them unconditionally, let them go, and pray for them. Ask Friends to pray for them regularly. Use books like 'The power of praying for your adult children' by Stormie Omartian, which has scriptural prayers, and leave them in Gods hands.My children all went away from God, but two came back to Him in their late 20's, and are truly following Him now. Don't despair.  This is a hard time with girls especially. They do become human again one day, they really do.

"Umm I dont know where to send her. What in the world do I do she turns 18 in January."


She is turning 18 and you still want to send her somewhere so someone changes her mind? Seriously?

I know from experience that if you treat your teenage (16year old and older) still like a child demanding over her life that one day she will snap and shut down completely. She will even do the complete opposite when you give her advice even if she knows that it is not the right thing to do. Also she will think that she knows better than you, there is no way in changing that.

Please never use words like "you have to" when talking to her, that will fill her with pure rage, because you treat her as a child which she is not anymore. The only thing you can tell her is that you won't do her laundry or tidy her room or any favour for her when she doesn't listen to you. But by listening to you I mean that you should never ask her to do something like seeing someone from church for you, don't ask her to anything demanding from her (except favours like buying groceries or influence her life).

Your relationship is really damaged. You should finally stop trying to change your daughter and start adapting to her, she isn't in a age in which you can still fom and mold her. Trying something to do so will result in the opposite and will damage your relationship even more.


Source: I have been on the other side.

Best Regards

PS: Don't bother replying to me, I probably won't see it because I will be offline for the next few days - I also just gave you the othe point of view, there is no bad blood here.

OKMommy,

Very painful.  It is hard to go through such struggles. If your daughter has a place to go, then I say don't stop her.  You did not say whether or not she is a Christian.  But if she is, remember that she is rebelling against God first.  Now that she is legally an adult, she only must answer to the law of the land and God.  Do you pay for her phone?  Stop.  If you don't, then you have no right to it. If she is legally an adult, you also have no authority to limit access to her boyfriend.  It is so hard!  Say what you want about him once, and then leave it. Remember the prodigal son:  the father let the son go while he squandered his inheritance.  In your daughter's case, she is preparing to squander her religious inheritance.  Watch and pray.  Do not go after her.  Let her experience her own consequences.  In the meantime, you need some very good friends with whom you can talk and whom you can trust.  It is a very hard road which you have been through before.  I am thinking about you.  God hurts for her too.  Smithy

I went through something similar when my son was 13 or 14.  His mom and I are divorced and he lives with her.  His behavior was belligerent and hateful.  All I could do was tell him that I loved him (and that God loved him, but I wasn't a Christian then so I didn't think to say that) and that I would be here when he was ready.  And then I gave him space.  It took about 18 months for him to come around, but he eventually did.

I hope and pray that your daughters come back to you and to God soon.