Christian Forums

I feel as I have become extremely shy recently. I was super outgoing, I partied, I can talk with everyone but now as I have deepen my relationship with Christ, I feel so reserved that I don't know who I am.

I stopped drinking and I don't feel as interesting or as normal when I'm with a group of people who are drinking, I don't curse, I'm not dating and I'm celibate. All these things make me feel like a freak.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to a super bowl party but it's giving me anxiety. What am I going to talk about? How do I relate to others? When it comes to guys, I definitely have shyed away from hanging with them. I'm cute and I like men but I should don't have time to entertain them as I used to. Now I'm like in normal conversations, how can I help you? And what do you want from me?

It's like I have become socially awkward. I'm a writer and I started my own website, I'm a business woman and I love talking about only to select people. It's like if I don't know you, I don't know what to talk about. I don't want to talk about myself and my accomplishments cause it can come across haughty. And when it comes to guys, I'm not sure they want to talk to a Christian writer who doesn't drink or have sex.

I feel out of place that I stay at home and write. It's so confusing, I was never like this.

It's true that you change when you become a Christian.  But remember one thing when you are with people:  they love good listeners.  Each one of them will love talking about him or herself.  Direct the conversation back to the person you are talking with.  Ask them questions about their work, their lives. They will think you are a marvelous conversationalist!

It will take time to adapt to living a new life, and of course alcohol does seem to take away inhibitions and make you more likely to do and say things that you never would when you are sober(often not good things either).Its possible that the 'old you' wasn't actually 'you', but the 'alcohol fueled' you, and now you are actual finding out that the 'real you' is a bit more reserved and shy and rather more of an introvert, and what is wrong with that? Loads of people are on the quiet shy side rather that the loud extrovert side, that good, and its just the way they are. 

You seem to think that people will not like you because you don't sleep around or drink/get drunk. Why? A lot of people would like you far more because of this, and will respect you , and if they don't, then what does that say about them and their lives and priorities? To be honest you don't have to go to parties or meet people you don't want to, do you? Many people hate that sort of party/drink/loud music sort of place, and we are not forced to go are we?

If you have an occasion that you HAVE to go to, then Helen gave the good advise that I have also learnt in life, don't tall about yourself, people usually don't like that, and often aren't interested anyway,so ask them about THEIR lives, their spouses, their children, their boyfriends/girlfriends, their jobs, their interests, their holidays etc etc. I used to be pretty quiet and shy in my late teens and 20's,unless I knew people, but as I have got older I have got better, and have learnt far more how to get on with new people and in new situations. 

Also remember that when you become a believer, your interests and priorities do change. Things that used to interest you don't any more, and things you used to want to do, you don't anymore, and that's perfectly normal and shows that God is working. He will give you new desires and new interests and new priorities. In time the 'real you' will emerge more and more, but she may be very different from the 'you' from the past(who may not have been the 'real you' at all.) Make sure that you spend time with other Christians as well, and make new friends among them.

 

Yep, got sober and clean and lost your identity in the process.

You have to "find yourself" like a young person (teenager, young adult).

So you arent the life of the party anymore...you think.

People are the same even if you are sober.  Relax!  Alot.

You are the only one taking the party this seriously

First off, Congrats on becoming  a new Believer!        

That is the most important thing.

And as Helen and Chosen said, when we come to faith we become new people:

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Like anything new, it takes a certain amount of time to find out what it is and how you can use it and relate to it.  In this case it is YOU who is new. Your likes and dislikes are changing. Your focus is changing. It will take time to adjust to this.

So relax.  This is a good thing.  Count it as growing pains.

It's much harder to be a Christian now than in the past, in the modern past decades there was not much difference between a Christian and a non believer and everyone just casually believed themselves to be a Christian because they read a bible at school. Now though there are many different types of opinions and many of them are in direct conflict with Christianity, you also got a lot of wild people who are proud and loud of their hedonistic ways.
But I believe things will change for the good, so that in some countries and some states that the liberalism will balance with the conservatism, to put an end to the condemnation and misery of the conservatism and an end to the destructive ways of liberalism. Libertism to me in this writeup basically means people who want to express evil they want regardless of consequences and conservatism means those legalists who want to stop people from expressing good things.