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I like a guy I've known all my life. Our moms are friends since college and he is a month older than me. His mom told my mom and a friend that he likes me but he hasn't said anything to me. I don't want to waste my life thinking we might end up together. We're already almost 23.

Anyway, I'm a part of my college Christian group and church's college age group. I'm also on a few dating sites.

Does anyone have other suggestions about putting myself out there?

I've had a desire since I was little to be married and have a family. I also have a high sex drive but am a virgin saving myself for my husband. My parents and a friend told me that God wants me to trust Him and that I will get married but I have a hard time trusting and have low self esteem. I'm still trying to forgive a married friend that told me "maybe God doesn't want you to get married" and a friend's fiancé, when our group went to a diner together, pointed around the table to the singles saying, "Jordan's never gonna marry, Mark's never gonna marry, Liz isn't" and was about to say my name until I stared at him.

Wow what useless friends you have.    22 is nothing honestly. Hardly any couples marry that young these days and even if you were in your 40's saying things like that to you is downright cruel. 
You have so much time. I am slightly concerned that a guy of 22 apparently likes you and has done for ages probably, but cant seem to even tell you or ask you for a coffee? Is he very shy?

If you already have a church, and go to these college groups, and are on dating sites, then relax and leave it to God. I know several young people in their late 20's and 30's who are still waiting meet the one and get married, you are so young yet. Try and just enjoy life, finish college, get a  job, be independant and make lots of friends, and just follow God and leave the rest to Him.  Dont let this become your only focus. 

Church society thinks if you're not married by 23, something's wrong with you. It's hard to go to church and be looked down upon. Honestly no one knows how much time I have left, even if I am young. Some people think they're invincible, which I envy because I have this constant fear I'll die before I'm 30. He's shy. I thought maybe he's scared of the risk of having our friendship and our parents' friendship become awkward, but he could just ask to hang out and do something but he doesn't. Hoping it's just because he has a new job and apartment but if he did care he'd make time to pursue. I'm trying to trust God but I still worry. I always imagined being engaged by now and getting married the summer of 2015. Not gonna happen obviously. Hoping maybe next year. Hopefully my student teaching, graduating, and my other fears will help me not focus too much on it. It's hard though since it's my life's dream and my sex drive is screaming.

Quote from: Hello on Tue Jan 13, 2015 - 11:02:18
Church society thinks if you're not married by 23, something's wrong with you. It's hard to go to church and be looked down upon. Honestly no one knows how much time I have left, even if I am young. Some people think they're invincible, which I envy because I have this constant fear I'll die before I'm 30. He's shy. I thought maybe he's scared of the risk of having our friendship and our parents' friendship become awkward, but he could just ask to hang out and do something but he doesn't. Hoping it's just because he has a new job and apartment but if he did care he'd make time to pursue. I'm trying to trust God but I still worry. I always imagined being engaged by now and getting married the summer of 2015. Not gonna happen obviously. Hoping maybe next year. Hopefully my student teaching, graduating, and my other fears will help me not focus too much on it. It's hard though since it's my life's dream and my sex drive is screaming.

I am in the uK and if you got married here at 22 people would think that far too young, even if you were in a church. 

You cant plan when you will get engaged or married when you havent met anyone yet, so doing that isnt helpful. and will only lead to disappointment and discouragement. You may find yourself marrying someone just because you are so desperate to do so and that would be a massive mistake.

There is nothing to stop you from asking him if he wants to go and have a coffee sometime. No rule that say it must be the guy who makes the first move. Is he on facebook or something? Why not ask him? 

Quote from: Hello on Tue Jan 13, 2015 - 11:02:18
Church society thinks if you're not married by 23, something's wrong with you.

That depends a LOT on which church you go to.

QuoteIt's hard to go to church and be looked down upon.

Agreed.

QuoteHonestly no one knows how much time I have left,... because I have this constant fear I'll die before I'm 30.

You need to seriously talk to a christian counselor on that one. We are supposed to be free from the fear of death.

QuoteIt's hard though since it's my life's dream

I understand.  But sometimes God's timing on "our dreams" is very different from our own.  Again - a good christian counselor could give you the emotional tools to handle this.

Quoteand my sex drive is screaming.

And there is always THAT. 

A lot of guys would KILL to get a wife with that level of desire.  So it is a good thing - just really difficult to manage from now to the "I DOs."

To be truthful - If someone your age and single was NOT burning with desire I would suggest they go to the doctor to have hormonal tests done to find out why. 

English does not carry a sense of gender well but in 1 Cor 7 Paul said it was better to marry than to burn.  That was not specifically addressed to males but females.

I wish America was like that. He's on facebook.  I might ask him. I'll talk to my mom.

I go to a non denominational church. Haven't been there in a long time because I am afraid of the looks I get and certain people. 

Do you know of any Christian counselors? I think about death a lot. I'm afraid of it.

I know several good counselors; but they are in Maryland and Virginia. 

Our congregational leader is a certified trainer in Nouthetic Biblical counseling.  The Nouthetic website has a page for finding a counselor in your area:

http://www.biblicalcounseling.com/counselors

Quote from: Hello on Tue Jan 13, 2015 - 11:38:07
Haven't been there in a long time because I am afraid of the looks I get and certain people. 

I would give myself permission to break away from the parents and find a Church that is more welcoming and kind...

Quote from: MeMyself on Tue Jan 13, 2015 - 11:57:00

Quote from: HelloHaven't been there in a long time because I am afraid of the looks I get and certain people. 

I would give myself permission to break away from the parents and find a Church that is more welcoming and kind...

For sure.  We all need fellowship with other believers on a regular basis. to avoid it makes us weak.

Quote from: Hello on Mon Jan 12, 2015 - 20:30:55
I like a guy I've known all my life. Our moms are friends since college and he is a month older than me. His mom told my mom and a friend that he likes me but he hasn't said anything to me. I don't want to waste my life thinking we might end up together. We're already almost 23.

Anyway, I'm a part of my college Christian group and church's college age group. I'm also on a few dating sites.

Does anyone have other suggestions about putting myself out there?

I've had a desire since I was little to be married and have a family. I also have a high sex drive but am a virgin saving myself for my husband. My parents and a friend told me that God wants me to trust Him and that I will get married but I have a hard time trusting and have low self esteem. I'm still trying to forgive a married friend that told me "maybe God doesn't want you to get married" and a friend's fiancé, when our group went to a diner together, pointed around the table to the singles saying, "Jordan's never gonna marry, Mark's never gonna marry, Liz isn't" and was about to say my name until I stared at him.

I don't think someone who points to you and certain of your friends at that dinner table and prophecies you'll never marry is actually a true friend. They're not someone who holds respect for you and your friends or they wouldn't presume to hurt them in that way.

Look, you're made how God intended you to be. The Bible tells us he knew us before the womb and he knit us together as he saw fit. For his glory and through his eternal power as creator of all things. God doesn't make mistakes. And he certainly doesn't create someone so they'll be insecure about his final work.
Trust yourself. Love you. If you don't love you how will you truly know someone else does when they say, "I love you." How will you truly know what they find to love if you don't see it there first?

That guy you like? Tell him. When you know he feels the same for you and yet he hasn't said anything he's the same as you. Shy. He's not up to telling you how he feels. You're not up to telling him. What are you going to do? Like each other in silence and miss out on what could be exactly what you said? God pointing you toward the man he has made for you.

You're young too. Forever is a long time when you're thinking about an eternal relationship. Take it slow, tell this guy how you feel, and see where it leads. You're made to be happy in the light and love of Christ. Don't be insecure about that. God doesn't waste his time making mistakes.     

Now, go tell that guy how you feel. Ask him to lunch and approach the subject slowly. You'll know when its right to do that. Trust God. Trust yourself. You are lovable.

Quote from: Hello on Tue Jan 13, 2015 - 11:38:07
I wish America was like that. He's on facebook.  I might ask him. I'll talk to my mom.

I go to a non denominational church. Haven't been there in a long time because I am afraid of the looks I get and certain people. 

Do you know of any Christian counselors? I think about death a lot. I'm afraid of it.

IT maybe that your own insecurities and fears are making you think that others are acting weirdly when they arent.  Yes do find a counselor, you can probably ask your college if they have one, many do. It would be best to try and get help for yourself so that when you do meet someone you will be more healthy emotionally and ready for a healthy relationship.  Your fear of  death is making you want to rush into marriage when you are still so young.

QuoteYes do find a counselor, you can probably ask your college if they have one, many do.

Not sure I would go with what a secular college has for counselors.  Or do you go to a truly christian college?

Just wanted to add that 2 young couples in our family got married in the last 4 years(Christians), and both couples were in their early 30's. I also have 2 friends who married their husbands in their late 30's. 

Thanks. I'll look into the site.

When I try to stay away from the church I have gone to, I feel guilty and think I should just return. I don't know why. It's not like they care. I know the one who said that doesn't respect me. It wasn't just me, it was the other singles including his brother.  His fiance, my friend, tried to defend us but he had pride.

I'm thinking about asking him. I am scared though. I don't think I'm lovable.

Yeah i think my fear of death has to do with it.

I go to a public university.

Congrats to them.  Good thing they don't live here or they'd be ostracized for being too old.

What all are you feeling guilty about?  Just staying away from church?  Going to another congregation? 

That sounds to me like the devil is trying to lie to you and just dump a bunch of false guilt on you.

Why do you think you are "not lovable?" That could be another lie from the same guy .... 

ETA:

We are pretty much a "safe" place here.  You can ask whatever you want without us coming down hard. We try to be as encouraging and supportive as we can be over the web.  (not as good as real flesh and blood relating)

Quote from: Hello on Tue Jan 13, 2015 - 13:02:48
Thanks. I'll look into the site.

When I try to stay away from the church I have gone to, I feel guilty and think I should just return. I don't know why. It's not like they care. I know the one who said that doesn't respect me. It wasn't just me, it was the other singles including his brother.  His fiance, my friend, tried to defend us but he had pride.

I'm thinking about asking him. I am scared though. I don't think I'm lovable.

Yeah i think my fear of death has to do with it.

I go to a public university.

Congrats to them.  Good thing they don't live here or they'd be ostracized for being too old.

We have many single people in our churches who are well into their 30's and 40's, especially women. Its pretty common and no one thinks anything of it.

I feel guilty about leaving that specific church. I don't know why. I'm just not desirable.

Thanks. I feel safe.

What kind of church do you go to Choosenone?

Quote from: Hello on Tue Jan 13, 2015 - 17:53:10
I feel guilty about leaving that specific church. I don't know why. I'm just not desirable.

Thanks. I feel safe.

What kind of church do you go to Choosenone?

We are just about to be involved in a new anglican church plant near us, but our last 2 churches were a New Frontiers and a Vineyard. In the vineyard especially there were quite a few single people, especially women, in their late 20's and 30's. One of my children has just started going to a vineyard church and likes it very much. They are usually informal and friendly in my experience.   

I've never heard of a vineyard church.

Quote from: Hello on Fri Jan 16, 2015 - 11:16:49
I've never heard of a vineyard church.

There are 15,000 worldwide.
http://www.vineyard.org/

ok

Hello, what is that pictured in your profile picture?

A butterfly.

Doesn't look like one but thank you.

Quote from: MoodyMoose on Sun Jan 18, 2015 - 11:35:12
Doesn't look like one but thank you.

Sure it does! It's mid flight with it's wings open and gliding. 

Quote from: MeMyself on Sun Jan 18, 2015 - 11:52:37

Quote from: MoodyMoose on Sun Jan 18, 2015 - 11:35:12
Doesn't look like one but thank you.

Sure it does! It's mid flight with it's wings open and gliding. 

OK, maybe that. 

Quote from: Hello on Fri Jan 16, 2015 - 11:16:49
I've never heard of a vineyard church.

Like Chosen said, there are a lot of them all over the world.

The denomination was a Jesus Movement era break off of the same Four Square Gospel church that gave rise to the Calvary Chapel denomination. (early 1970s) They are probably more charismatic/pentecostal than the Calvary Chapel congregations are. It was started by a guy named Ken Gullikson who attended Chuck Smith's congregation; but wanted to only be a local pastor, not the overseer of an entire denomination. So he handed that off to John Wimber in 1977.

They are a "come as you are" type of church, with a lot of singing.  they are main contributers to contemporary worship songs adn style.

Quote from: DaveW on Tue Jan 20, 2015 - 05:45:15

Quote from: Hello on Fri Jan 16, 2015 - 11:16:49
I've never heard of a vineyard church.

Like Chosen said, there are a lot of them all over the world.

The denomination was a Jesus Movement era break off of the same Four Square Gospel church that gave rise to the Calvary Chapel denomination. (early 1970s) They are probably more charismatic/pentecostal than the Calvary Chapel congregations are. It was started by a guy named Ken Gullikson who attended Chuck Smith's congregation; but wanted to only be a local pastor, not the overseer of an entire denomination. So he handed that off to John Wimber in 1977.

They are a "come as you are" type of church, with a lot of singing.  they are main contributers to contemporary worship songs adn style.

They are actually my favourite type of church,  but we havent got one near us sadly. I am hoping that when we move we will have one near us.