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What does the marriage of your dreams look like?

For me it's to have my husband be my best friend, lover, and spiritual leader with Jesus as our common passion.

Similar. I would want a marriage where I am supported. Not financially but emotionally. My husband would be a strong and brave man of God. Is goal orientated if he hasn't achieved all of his goals yet. He would be able to calm and sooth me when I am afraid or anxious. In the marriage of my dreams I would be treated like a queen and I would be nothing but honored to treat my husband as a king.

To have a spouse that recognizes God as first in every aspect of her life, the alignment of relationships and a blessed marriage will fall into place when God is first in our lives. 

A strong believing husband who is patient, kind and easy going. Who has strong moral values and integrity. Who doesnt demand leadership but who quietly leads by example. Who respects me and encourages me. Who has a good sense of humour.  Sort of just like the one I have.

A husband who has a solid faith in God, and lovingly shows me the way. A marriage where acts of love and devotion are appreciated and reciprocated between both partners - in their own unique way. A marriage where individuality is respected and encouraged. Taking delight in our differences. A husband who can smile, laugh, and enjoy life with me. A marriage where compassion is shown by each partner during times of illness, weakness, or sorrow. An atmosphere of mutual forgiveness.

Quote from: Hisbride on Sun Nov 08, 2015 - 17:20:36
What does the marriage of your dreams look like?

  We survive together.  I used to beg for more, but, it is what it is.

Someone to wait on me hand and foot, that is silent.....

I used to dream of the ideal marriage, but God gave me what I needed instead, and that is so much better than I had imagined.

To all of us the ideal marriage is different, and the ideal partner is different. To be loved and to love and to live life together as companions and best friends and partners and lovers is surely what it is all about? How that looks will vary in each marriage.
My husband was rejected by his former wife after 23 years of marriage for another man. I will never understand why, but to me he is so right, such a good man of great integrity and a good husband and a great step dad to my children. So one persons reject is another persons blessing.

Quote from: Nevertheless on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:26:04
I used to dream of the ideal marriage, but God gave me what I needed instead, and that is so much better than I had imagined.

well then God gave you your ideal marriage.

Quote from: MeMyself on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 08:35:41

Quote from: Hisbride on Sun Nov 08, 2015 - 17:20:36
What does the marriage of your dreams look like?

  We survive together.  I used to beg for more, but, it is what it is.

That made me sad

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:51:53

Quote from: MeMyself on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 08:35:41

Quote from: Hisbride on Sun Nov 08, 2015 - 17:20:36
What does the marriage of your dreams look like?

  We survive together.  I used to beg for more, but, it is what it is.

That made me sad

me too...but it is what it is.  At least we have fun and cute kids. 

Quote from: MeMyself on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:53:50

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:51:53

Quote from: MeMyself on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 08:35:41

Quote from: Hisbride on Sun Nov 08, 2015 - 17:20:36
What does the marriage of your dreams look like?

  We survive together.  I used to beg for more, but, it is what it is.

That made me sad

me too...but it is what it is.  At least we have fun and cute kids. 

Yes

Quote from: Nevertheless on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:26:04
I used to dream of the ideal marriage, but God gave me what I needed instead, and that is so much better than I had imagined.

Did God give you the husband you needed, or did He allow you to have the one you thought you wanted and let it go from there? Does God give everyone the spouse they need, or just a chosen few? Does God give you other relationships you need, such as friends, bosses, co-workers, acquaintances? Do you have book, chapter, and verse for your ideas on this? I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, at all. Just wondering.

Quote from: mommydi on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 12:48:34

Quote from: Nevertheless on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:26:04
I used to dream of the ideal marriage, but God gave me what I needed instead, and that is so much better than I had imagined.

Did God give you the husband you needed, or did He allow you to have the one you thought you wanted and let it go from there? Does God give everyone the spouse they need, or just a chosen few? Does God give you other relationships you need, such as friends, bosses, co-workers, acquaintances? Do you have book, chapter, and verse for your ideas on this? I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, at all. Just wondering.

I didn't get the marriage I needed, but that isn't God's fault.  It is my ex-wife's.

Quote from: Texas Conservative on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 14:09:54

Quote from: mommydi on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 12:48:34

Quote from: Nevertheless on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:26:04
I used to dream of the ideal marriage, but God gave me what I needed instead, and that is so much better than I had imagined.

Did God give you the husband you needed, or did He allow you to have the one you thought you wanted and let it go from there? Does God give everyone the spouse they need, or just a chosen few? Does God give you other relationships you need, such as friends, bosses, co-workers, acquaintances? Do you have book, chapter, and verse for your ideas on this? I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, at all. Just wondering.

I didn't get the marriage I needed, but that isn't God's fault.  It is my ex-wife's.

Good (but sad) point.
This thread just reminded me of a conversation I overheard a few years ago. I was standing at a counter, in a Baptist book store, shopping for a Bible. Two elderly women struck up a conversation near me. They hadn't seen each other in years. One asked the other what she had been doing and if she had been staying busy. The woman answered, "I was too busy. I was taking care of my family and church, and the Lord thought I needed to slow down and spend more time with Him, so he visited a stroke on me to get my attention. He knew what I needed, and gave me the stroke, even though that's not what I wanted."
So that just has me questioning - does God send bad health, bad events, bad people/spouses into our lives to get our attention and make us focus on Him?

Quote from: mommydi on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 12:48:34

Quote from: Nevertheless on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:26:04
I used to dream of the ideal marriage, but God gave me what I needed instead, and that is so much better than I had imagined.

Did God give you the husband you needed, or did He allow you to have the one you thought you wanted and let it go from there? Does God give everyone the spouse they need, or just a chosen few? Does God give you other relationships you need, such as friends, bosses, co-workers, acquaintances? Do you have book, chapter, and verse for your ideas on this? I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, at all. Just wondering.

I was 14 years old when we started dating and 18 when we married. Like most teens I thought I knew everything, especially what was best for me. Of course as I got older I realized how wrong I was. I thought I knew what the "ideal" marriage & husband should be, but I didn't have a clue.

Instead, God gave me the man that He designed for me. He isn't perfect - I couldn't stand him if he was! But he loves God first, me second, and our kids (and now grandkids) third. I don't have to wonder if he would die to protect me, because he already does - he truly loves me as Jesus loves the church. He is my best friend, my other half.

I don't know about everybody else, I just know that I am thankful for the gifts I have been given. Book, chapter, and verse? Well, let's see. How about James 1:17? "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change" That's really the only one I can think of right now.

Gotta go, I'll add more later.

Quote from: mommydi on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 14:20:43

Quote from: Texas Conservative on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 14:09:54

Quote from: mommydi on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 12:48:34

Quote from: Nevertheless on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 10:26:04
I used to dream of the ideal marriage, but God gave me what I needed instead, and that is so much better than I had imagined.

Did God give you the husband you needed, or did He allow you to have the one you thought you wanted and let it go from there? Does God give everyone the spouse they need, or just a chosen few? Does God give you other relationships you need, such as friends, bosses, co-workers, acquaintances? Do you have book, chapter, and verse for your ideas on this? I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, at all. Just wondering.

I didn't get the marriage I needed, but that isn't God's fault.  It is my ex-wife's.

Good (but sad) point.
This thread just reminded me of a conversation I overheard a few years ago. I was standing at a counter, in a Baptist book store, shopping for a Bible. Two elderly women struck up a conversation near me. They hadn't seen each other in years. One asked the other what she had been doing and if she had been staying busy. The woman answered, "I was too busy. I was taking care of my family and church, and the Lord thought I needed to slow down and spend more time with Him, so he visited a stroke on me to get my attention. He knew what I needed, and gave me the stroke, even though that's not what I wanted."
So that just has me questioning - does God send bad health, bad events, bad people/spouses into our lives to get our attention and make us focus on Him?

Well the Bible says that its the enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy, so no I dont believe that God sends such things, BUT He can and does use bad things that happen to us in many advantageous ways.

Quote from: mommydi on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 12:48:34
Does God give everyone the spouse they need, or just a chosen few?

Why do some get good things in life while others suffer? Why was I born to the privileged life of a U.S. citizen instead of the hardship of a Christian living in Sudan? Why does God heal some and not others? Why does He save some believers' lives and allow others to be tortured and murdered? Why did God give me a faithful, loving husband while other Christian women are abandoned or cheated on by theirs?


I don't know. Do you?

Not only do I not know the answers, I cannot even imagine how one would try to find the answers. The best I can do is to be thankful for the good things He gives me and try to learn to also be thankful for the less pleasant things as well.

Quote from: Nevertheless on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 21:55:30

Quote from: mommydi on Mon Nov 09, 2015 - 12:48:34
Does God give everyone the spouse they need, or just a chosen few?

Why do some get good things in life while others suffer? Why was I born to the privileged life of a U.S. citizen instead of the hardship of a Christian living in Sudan? Why does God heal some and not others? Why does He save some believers' lives and allow others to be tortured and murdered? Why did God give me a faithful, loving husband while other Christian women are abandoned or cheated on by theirs?


I don't know. Do you?

Not only do I not know the answers, I cannot even imagine how one would try to find the answers. The best I can do is to be thankful for the good things He gives me and try to learn to also be thankful for the less pleasant things as well.

No, I don't know. That's why I asked.

In all honesty my first marriage was a train wreck, doomed from the beginning and every attempt to make it work ended up in failure. I guess when we have a practice run it's much easier to find your ideal partner, certainly not the way God designed marriage but I can also admit that God was not present in our lives, in fact He was discouraged in our household.


I'm not in the market for a wife at this time, I have a wonderful wife that loves God and lives by His word to the best of her ability but if I was in the market those attributes would be first on the list.