Christian Forums

Just discovered this blog and was wondering if anyone else knew about it.

http://biblicalgenderroles.com/

Thought it might spark some interesting conversations.

Well I just read the first article about why married couples should not see marriage counsellors, and I felt it was verging on wanting the husband to actually be abusive.

Such as
A husband should not be yelling at his wife all the time, while there may be some cause for husband to raise his voice to his wife if she acting in a rebellious way. But even if a husband does yell at his wife more than he should – this is not something for a marriage counselor to solve. This is not something where a wife gets to run to a counselor and say "he yells at me too much". He is her authority, she is to reverence him, obey him and serve him as his wife despite his flaws. This does not mean she cannot bring her concerns to him gently – but there is no cause for a third party in the form of a marriage counselor to come in and undermine his spiritual authority.

A husband should not be yelling at his wife AT ALL.

ANother place in the article he speaks of the need to 'discipline' his wife is she is being 'rebellious'. Not sure I want to know what that 'discipline' he speaks of involves

I felt very uncomfortable inside after just that one article. I can see how some men who are that way inclined could use this mans teaching to do bad things and justify abuse towards his wife and children.

I agree with the point of that part you posted, the Scriptures are clear in God honoring the authority of the husband in the household. There shouldn't be abuse of course, but remember what Peter wrote.

oH and here he is trying to justify him imagining having sex with another woman.

'So as long as we are not imagining doing something evil – then we are free to imagine whatever we like. Whether that be with flying a space ship, scoring a touchdown or having sex with a woman outside of any relational context.

Sex is a good thing to imagine about. God designed us to imagine sexual situations – especially as men even more than he did women. We are hardwired to imagine every physical aspect of sex.

It is only when we add the relational context to a sexual thought that it becomes sinful or not sinful. If you imagine having sex with a woman by itself there is no sin.'

This guy makes me feel sick to be honest.  He is adding things to what God actually says.

Quote from: LexKnight on Sat Jan 23, 2016 - 23:20:05
I agree with the point of that part you posted, the Scriptures are clear in God honoring the authority of the husband in the household. There shouldn't be abuse of course, but remember what Peter wrote.

Thats not actually what I said. A good husband will not need to shout at his wife nor become abusive not discipline her if she is rebellious. 

another worrying phrase

'So no, Biblically speaking both spouses do NOT have an equal right to what the other makes. The husband is the authority of all income that comes into the home, whether through his wife or himself.'

Oh dear so the fact that I have dealt with all the finances for the last 40 years since I got married at 19 was wrong. The fact that we have a joint account and seen everything as 'ours' and not 'yours or mine' is wrong. THink I will stick to our way. After all in the marriage ceremony we say 'and with all my world goods I thee endow'. The 2 become one.

I can only say that I am SO glad I am not married to this man. Dont think I can read any more of this myself, this man makes me cringe inside. 

Ephesians 5:21-33 says it all, while it calls for wives to submit to their husbands it also tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, I don't see one happening successfully without the other. No where does the Bible instruct the wife to be a doormat to the husband, or to be submissive to his actions when he himself is not submitting to Christ.


I still find many men cherry picking Eph 5:22 as a model for marriage but I believe that verse fails miserably when a man glances past vs's 25-28, nor would I ever condone a woman being submissive to their husband if he is not loving and fully respecting her, that itself would be grounds for some kind of counselling or redirection in the marriage.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

What a bunch of hooey. Telling a woman, who is having difficulty and abuse in her marriage that it's wrong to go to a counselor because it's not her place to "tattle-tale" on her husband, and any wrongdoing he does is between him and God, and not a counselor's business. Hogwash. I couldn't imagine giving my daughters this advice.

Quote from: mommydi on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 08:50:23
What a bunch of hooey. Telling a woman, who is having difficulty and abuse in her marriage that it's wrong to go to a counselor because it's not her place to "tattle-tale" on her husband, and any wrongdoing he does is between him and God, and not a counselor's business. Hogwash. I couldn't imagine giving my daughters this advice.

I was stewing about this man's interpretation of roles and how marriage should work.  He is right that he can find the letter of the law and follow it, but what his model lacks, and how I know its not a complete picture that God has for us, is that it lacks intimacy.

LOTS of rules for the wife and LOTS of tactics for men to use to control their wives, but not one moment of intimacy, and that reduces everything he is desiring into a counterfeit of what God's true desires are for marriage.

Quote from: LexKnight on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 08:25:08
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

I fully agree with this passage of scripture, and I submit to my husband gladly; however look at the call to husbands. Live with your wives in an understanding way.  Everything this man posts is the opposite of that!  He isn't understanding her, he is controlling her, belittling her, acting as if she is a slightly less than adult that needs to be monitored, watched and kept in line.

He calls women to deny self in every single aspect of life, (fine, so does God) BUT there is NOT one sentence, that I saw that held himself or men to the same standard; and God doesn't make a distinction that denial of self is only women's work.

Living with your wife in an understanding way is another way of saying, DENY SELF! Be compassionate, treat her as you would like to be treated, love her sacrificially.

Ugh. And, don't get me started on his take on polygamy. 

Quote from: mommydi on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 08:50:23
What a bunch of hooey. Telling a woman, who is having difficulty and abuse in her marriage that it's wrong to go to a counselor because it's not her place to "tattle-tale" on her husband, and any wrongdoing he does is between him and God, and not a counselor's business. Hogwash. I couldn't imagine giving my daughters this advice.

I agree, I felt awful when I was reading some of his stuff, especially his poor attempts to justify lusting after women. Thank God for those godly men like my husband who know that its wrong.

Quote from: MeMyself on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 09:39:32

Quote from: LexKnight on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 08:25:08
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

I fully agree with this passage of scripture, and I submit to my husband gladly; however look at the call to husbands. Live with your wives in an understanding way.  Everything this man posts is the opposite of that!  He isn't understanding her, he is controlling her, belittling her, acting as if she is a slightly less than adult that needs to be monitored, watched and kept in line.

He calls women to deny self in every single aspect of life, (fine, so does God) BUT there is NOT one sentence, that I saw that held himself or men to the same standard; and God doesn't make a distinction that denial of self is only women's work.

Living with your wife in an understanding way is another way of saying, DENY SELF! Be compassionate, treat her as you would like to be treated, love her sacrificially.

Ugh. And, don't get me started on his take on polygamy. 

I didnt  read that bit, probably best if I dont. 
I have read some terrible stuff on line in that past that was supposedly 'Christian'. One was a website where the man said it was  ok to hit and beat you wife if she 'misbehaved'. It made me sick.  In the end its merely one mans opinions, and often not Biblical anyway, and sometimes picking and choosing and skewing the scriptures. 

Makes me so grateful for my lovely godly husband. 

Eat the meat, chew out the bones.  If there is no meat, don't read it.

Why deliberately subject yourself to offense, especially if it is not biblical?

Just talking about his points. Not offended.

Quote from: MeMyself on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 15:13:04
Just talking about his points. Not offended.

Some people on this thread obviously are.

I only read a little bit on there.  He goes a little too far in some places.  But I do think as a society in the US and A we have gone from one extreme (patriarchy) to another extreme in which men are put down, disrespected, etc.  While women catch up to men in horrible habits like sleeping around. 

Quote from: Texas Conservative on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 14:21:56
Eat the meat, chew out the bones.  If there is no meat, don't read it.

Why deliberately subject yourself to offense, especially if it is not biblical?

well because until you have read something you dont know whether its truth or not.

Quote from: Texas Conservative on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 15:24:41

Quote from: MeMyself on Sun Jan 24, 2016 - 15:13:04
Just talking about his points. Not offended.

Some people on this thread obviously are.

I only read a little bit on there.  He goes a little too far in some places.  But I do think as a society in the US and A we have gone from one extreme (patriarchy) to another extreme in which men are put down, disrespected, etc.  While women catch up to men in horrible habits like sleeping around.

I agree, but what he says is far beyond that.