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Just a little background. My soon-to-be ex-wife (divorcing in June) and I are both lapsed baptized Catholics. Both rebelled in our teens and left the church. Both attended other churches, was not married in a Catholic church nor by a Catholic priest.

Due to a schedule change at work, the only option for me it seems for church is to return to the Catholic church because of the Saturday evening mass. No other church in my area has a Saturday evening service. I believe this was God calling me back into the Catholic church as there has been stirrings for a while now.

Went to confession last Friday and talked with the priest regarding the above issues that I mentioned. I have been given forgiveness, given penance and am able to return to taking communion even with the impending divorce (that was a huge concern of mine before returning to the church).

The only thing he warned me against was that if I decide in the future to get involved with another woman to be sure that I have already done the lack of form. Otherwise, I will no longer be able to take communion until I do the lack of form.

I guess another question would be is would I be required to teach my kids Catholicism?

That will be a huge sticking point as far as their mom goes. She is custodial parent and she wants nothing to do with the Catholic church and doesn't want our kids raised in the Catholic faith. It would cause undue hardship on me and very likely the kids by extension.

Also, I get the kids every other week. I will be going to mass alone and I know that my church does not have a place for the kids to go to, especially on Saturday afternoons, like other churches that I have been to. My kids are three and one. For me to bring both would not be easy for me alone as the three year old doesn't sit still for very long, and the one year old neither.

Am I okay to go to Mass every other Saturday for this reason? If not, what am I supposed to do?

Quote from: Nanookadenord on Fri Jun 03, 2016 - 12:37:25
Just a little background. My soon-to-be ex-wife (divorcing in June) and I are both lapsed baptized Catholics. Both rebelled in our teens and left the church. Both attended other churches, was not married in a Catholic church nor by a Catholic priest.

Due to a schedule change at work, the only option for me it seems for church is to return to the Catholic church because of the Saturday evening mass. No other church in my area has a Saturday evening service. I believe this was God calling me back into the Catholic church as there has been stirrings for a while now.

Went to confession last Friday and talked with the priest regarding the above issues that I mentioned. I have been given forgiveness, given penance and am able to return to taking communion even with the impending divorce (that was a huge concern of mine before returning to the church).

The only thing he warned me against was that if I decide in the future to get involved with another woman to be sure that I have already done the lack of form. Otherwise, I will no longer be able to take communion until I do the lack of form.

This is blessed news.  I'd love to hear more about your experience in the sacrament, receiving that forgiveness after being away for so long.  Its a beautiful thing.

Quote from: Nanookadenord on Fri Jun 03, 2016 - 12:37:25
I guess another question would be is would I be required to teach my kids Catholicism?

That will be a huge sticking point as far as their mom goes. She is custodial parent and she wants nothing to do with the Catholic church and doesn't want our kids raised in the Catholic faith. It would cause undue hardship on me and very likely the kids by extension.

This is an excellent question for your priest.  They know the pastoral answer to this.  I can only speak in generalities.  What is required is really a pastoral decision.

In general, when Catholics bring their children to be baptized in the Catholic Church, they make a promise to bring their children up in the Catholic faith.  A believe that a similar promise is made when a couple is going to be married in the Catholic Church.  I would assume that you made no such promises, judging by the history of your relationship.

That being said, I could understand if you wanted to bring your children up Catholic.  After all, the Catholic faith is the authentic Christian faith.  So it would be very beneficial for your children's soul to be raised in the faith.  But it is also very beneficial for your children to not have their parents continually at odds with each other.  That is why this is ultimately a pastoral decision.

Quote from: Nanookadenord on Fri Jun 03, 2016 - 12:37:25
Also, I get the kids every other week. I will be going to mass alone and I know that my church does not have a place for the kids to go to, especially on Saturday afternoons, like other churches that I have been to. My kids are three and one. For me to bring both would not be easy for me alone as the three year old doesn't sit still for very long, and the one year old neither.

Am I okay to go to Mass every other Saturday for this reason? If not, what am I supposed to do?

I've been in a situation dealing with two young kids in mass.  It's not always fun but is definitely doable.  For me we never use the "crying room" even though there is one.  If the kids cry I'll get up and head to the back (I'll usually sit near the back so that it isn't a long way) until they have calmed down.  After you've brought them a few times they start to learn what is expected of them (as long as you show them what is expected) and they may be fidgety and that is ok.  As long as you demonstrate to them with your own actions what the right thing to do is, they will learn in a short time.  I have a 2 year old and we have started now to sit near the front.  I tell her when to kneel and stand, and teach her what the bells mean, and tell her that Jesus is there.  Just yesterday I've started teaching her to say "I love you Jesus" at the moment of the consecration.  It is definitely doable.

You really would have to get permission from your pastor to miss every other Sunday of mass.  They have that authority to grant that to you.  However typically it is only for if you are going on vacation and will be in a remote location and legitimately can't get to mass.  I'd suggest that you shouldn't do this, that you should go to mass.  The kids will probably listen on their own; you don't have to actually teach them the faith directly yet at this time.  They will probably ask questions and then you can answer them.  Always be loving to them and if your ex- challenges you on it just say that you were asked, so you answered.  In time you will be able to teach them more directly, my heart tells me.

So I would say that you should bring them with you.  As a parent it is your right and you really have no choice since Jesus gave us the commandment to keep holy the Lord's day and for you that means Church on every liturgical Sunday (which includes Saturday night) and holy days of obligation.

Feel free to private message me with more questions, or to post them in the Catholic Safe House forum.  The forum website may not let you send or receive private messages until you have posted a certain number of times.  But the Catholic Safe House forum is a good place for questions like this where you just want to know Catholic answers without hearing from non-Catholics concerning Catholic issues.

God Bless, and welcome back to receiving Jesus Christ in the Eucharist!!

Andre

Thank you for your reply.

I know from past experience that my children aren't really that good for church service. Having been in a Lutheran service (which is very close to Catholic mass) neither sits still long enough and they do start to wander around. Not so much the one year old as he is still crawling, but the three year old will absolutely not sit still for mass.

We tried bringing them for a couple months to the Lutheran services, but she just would not sit still (he was still an infant and sitting in a car seat still).

I will see if maybe my mom will take the three year old and I will bring the one year old. I cannot leave both with my mom as she cannot handle both at the same time. I may just end up leaving mass if it doesn't work out as my Catholic church doesn't have a cry room.

As for my experience, it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. That is the best way I can describe it.

I would love to PM you, but am currently not able to do so. Guessing it has to do with post count.

Feel free to contact me privately.

Andre