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Hi. I've dreamed of getting married ever since I was a little girl. Also having sex (We had sex ed in first grade and I and one boy didn't think it was gross like the other kids did). I'm 25 now. I absolutely have no faith that God will provide me a spouse. Plus I know someone who was shocked it didn't happen yet because he got married at 18. The question is how do I put to sleep my desire for love and my sex drive so I can be happy and single? Thanks in advance.

Quote from: cake10 on Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 13:31:25
Hi. I've dreamed of getting married ever since I was a little girl. Also having sex (We had sex ed in first grade and I and one boy didn't think it was gross like the other kids did). I'm 25 now. I absolutely have no faith that God will provide me a spouse. Plus I know someone who was shocked it didn't happen yet because he got married at 18. The question is how do I put to sleep my desire for love and my sex drive so I can be happy and single? Thanks in advance.

Where I live in the UK practically no one gets married that young, and to start worrying at the age of 25 is very premature. I know several Christian ladies who are more than 10 years older than you who would love to meet someone, you are so young yet. BTW a  guy marrying at 18 is madness, no man is mature enough for marriage at that age.
I would ask you if you are being proactive? Do you have a good friendly church with young people?Do they have a singles group?if not how about you and a friend start one? Are you involved in other things at the church? Do you have hobbies? Do sports? Voluntary work? All good ways to meet people.
Do you go to any Christian events? Have you thought of trying Christian internet dating?I met my husband that way, and I know about 10 other Christian couples who did.

God won't bring someone round to your door.

I don't go to church anymore. I'm in a group with 2 guys and the rest are girls. No one dates within the group and I don't want to lose my friends if I did even if someone did like me. I have tried online dating. I don't tell anyone though because my friends are against it. I also work. Is there a way to numb my desires?

Quote from: cake10 on Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 18:17:53
I don't go to church anymore. I'm in a group with 2 guys and the rest are girls. No one dates within the group and I don't want to lose my friends if I did even if someone did like me. I have tried online dating. I don't tell anyone though because my friends are against it. Guys there either don't reply or fade away after talking. Is there a way to numb my desires?

No there isn't because the desire to get married is a normal one for nearly everyone. At 25 you have no need to numb the desires anyway. How long did you try online dating? It was 2 years before I met my husband, and a lady I know was on a Christian dating site for 7 years before she met her now husband. That's what I call persistent.  :: eek::

Why don't you go to church? Can you try another one that is larger? Do you do things that I suggested?Get out there and meet new people?

Why bother what your friends say? I/3 of relationships now begin online, and for Christians it's even more important as we often don't meet anyone in our own churches. It's no different from meeting someone any other way.

The 30-year-old son of a friend of mine always complains that he has no girlfriend, but he refuses to go online or join any groups etc, and as his dad says, you aren't going to met anyone sitting in your bedroom. Sometimes we need to be proactive.

I tried since I was 18 so 7 years. I've had bad experiences. Yes I go out and do things. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.

Quote from: cake10 on Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 19:55:17
. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.

Tell us about this group.

Why do they think that dating is desperate and pathetic.

I can guarantee you that not all of them are chaste and celibate. At your age the  natural urges are what drive people to seek each other out. It is the way God made you.

Be wary of others your age who you think to be living a moral life and do not want you to get married and then have the right to explore your physical feelings.

As to being 25. That is an okay age to marry. But you are still young.

YOU will change over the next 5 to 10 years and not necessarily the way your spouse will.

I can't count the number of times that I have been tallking to "divorced" people and asked them why, ( I am nosey), only to be told "we grew apart".

It is a  great risk when you are too young.

As to dating and looking for the right one.... Absolutely.  I give that 2 thumbs up.

But do not be in a hurry, and try as best as you can to ignore your hormones.

Quote from: cake10 on Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 19:55:17
I tried since I was 18 so 7 years. I've had bad experiences. Yes I go out and do things. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.

its no more desperate and pathetic than meeting someone in a bar, or at work, or in a church or anywhere else. It's just one more way of getting to know people. They don't sound like very good friends to me.

Quote from: cake10 on Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 19:55:17
I tried since I was 18 so 7 years. I've had bad experiences. Yes I go out and do things. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.

Yes, I had bad experiences with online dating also, as many also do with normal dating. However I also met many lovely people. Choose one that is just for born again Christians and that isn't free, as there are too many scammers on free sites.
Find a good church though you need a church family.

I meant I've had bad experiences with church, not online dating. They don't date so they can meet the right one (I don't get it).

The main part of my post was that I know God doesn't have anyone for me and how to deal with it but you guys haven't given me ways not to think about my desires so I guess I should delete this thread but Idk how.

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 10:07:41
I meant I've had bad experiences with church, not online dating. They don't date so they can meet the right one (I don't get it).

The main part of my post was that I know God doesn't have anyone for me and how to deal with it but you guys haven't given me ways not to think about my desires so I guess I should delete this thread but Idk how.

That's because we are much older than you and realize that you can't possibly know at such a very young age that God doesn't have anyone for you. You are so very young, there are millions older than you who are meeting their partners.
When God has given you a desire to marry, then why does He want you to suppress that?
I have 2 friends who didnt marry their now husbands till they were nearly 40. To give up now is madness.

BTW don't let a  few bad experiences of church put you off. None of us are perfect, but God says we must all meet together and all the more chance for you to meet a special man.

I know he won't as punishment for my sins.

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 12:28:30
I know he won't as punishment for my sins.

Nonsense!  The Bible promises believes that there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ. Are you in Christ? Do you believe Him as your Savior? If so, you are His joint heir and God waits on high to have compassion upon you.

If God only blessed those that were sinless, none of us would have anything.

I have a sorted past.  God forgave and blessed me anyway.  I don't say that flippantly, but with great humility and thanksgiving.

Are you the poster Hello?

No I'm not and who's hello?

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:26:48
No I'm not and who's hello?

Another poster here who was gone for a long time, but I see is now back at the same time as your name came.

Her posts and yours are very similar.

ok

Cake, instead of seeing this issue as confirmation that God is punishing you, why not take it as a sign that He loves you so much, He is protecting you from something that would be unhealthy for you? Why not use it as a time to get to know Him better and forge a real and healthy relationship with Him?

Your view of Him isn't a healthy one, IMO.  He is not waiting to smite you, nor is He sitting with His nose smugly in the air; He loves you! He has good plans for you!  He is jealous for you!  He died for you!  Let Him be your truest love and let His love sustain you.

I remember being so sick of myself and my choices, that I asked Him to keep my heart from desiring anyone until *I* was who *He* wanted me to be.  I went several years with no boy to hang my heart on, but I grew up a TON, learned that His love was very different than human's conditional "love" and when I was ready, my husband came along.  Even if he hadn't, I wouldn't regret fully surrendering to God and letting myself be changed by Him.

No thank you

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:40:26
No thank you

What do you mean?

I just don't want that or believe all that but thanks anyway for the offer.

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:44:15
I just don't want that or believe all that but thanks anyway for the offer.

Why are you here then? You don't want godly advice, so what do you want?

I wanted to know how to kill my desires for a spouse

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:47:32
I wanted to know how to kill my desires for a spouse

But, why did you choose to come here? To a Christian forum?  I gave you advice on how to "kill" it (or at least postpone it) and you said, "No thanks".

What do you WISH we would say?

Is there some medication I can take for my sex drive?

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:51:21
Is there some medication I can take for my sex drive?

Sure. I've heard that antidepressants can kill it.


are you a believer?

I'm on an antidepressant. It doesn't kill it. I just don't want to want sex if there's nobody to have sex with. I believe in God and Jesus yes.

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:56:34
I'm on an antidepressant. It doesn't kill it. I just don't want to want sex if there's nobody to have sex with. I believe in God and Jesus yes.

Have you talked to your doctor about this concern you have?  What have they said if so?

You believe? As in, you believe the exist? Or you believe that Jesus is the only way to the Father and trust Him for salvation?

I haven't said anything to her. I believe He is the only way to God

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:01:28
I haven't said anything to her.

How come? She is the one that is best equipped to help you through this, IMO.

QuoteI believe He is the only way to God

And do you believe that He will or has saved you?  Do you believe that He loves you?

Idk why I haven't. I'm embarrassed that I'm still single. I believe He saves people but they must not sin and I believe He tolerates people.

Idk if I'm allowed to post links but if you youtube God Hates You by Mark Driscoll, it describes it.

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:10:46
Idk why I haven't. I'm embarrassed that I'm still single.

Well, that's just silliness. no offense.  Your singleness does not define you.  Are you *sure* you are not Hello?  She has the same issues exactly.

QuoteI believe He saves people but they must not sin and I believe He tolerates people.

What scripture do you use to prove those bolded things to be true? Or is it just the rantings of some person that has convinced you of these things?

Idk if I'm allowed to post links but if you youtube God Hates You by Mark Driscoll, it describes it.

I'm just Cake10.

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:12:32
Idk if I'm allowed to post links but if you youtube God Hates You by Mark Driscoll, it describes it.

Mark Driscoll is not God.

God is who you should trust on this.  He says He loves the whole world, you are a part of that.  He doesn't hate you. Not even a little bit.

I just don't believe that but alright.

Quote from: cake10 on Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:16:20
I just don't believe that but alright.

Why? Why do you call God a liar, but Mark Driscoll (who is a fallible man) a truth teller?  For all we know, if he is right that God hates some of us--Mark *himself* might be hated, because he is a liar and telling people falsehoods about God.