Christian Forums

Hi.  I'm new here.  I'm 48 SWF, never married and no kids.  I have a nagging question.

You know how when a couple (Christian or non) gets divorced and they really regret marrying that person. maybe they were even unequally yoked BUT they really don't regret it either as the marriage produced their great kids?  It is a very, very common thought that people talk about and it seems to make sense.

Does it even work the same in dating?  I'm going to basically make a short story long to give the background.

Situation:  In 1999 I met a guy at work who literally just walked up to my desk and asked me out.  My reply was to ask if he were born-again Christian and he replied that he was Ukrainian Catholic (his dad wanted to raise him in it.)  Right then I decided that I would go out with him to tell him about Jesus.  I grew up Roman Catholic and didn't hear the Gospel at my parish and assumed he hadn't either.  I told all of my friends about what I was doing; I'm sure I even asked them to pray.  We went out not to dinner or something like that but on his boat with his Godparents who were on their boat.  I wound up not saying a thing about Jesus or the Gospel.  We started talking at work, emailing at work and went out again. I liked him and he liked me!    He said that he got saved in college.

He had attended a Catholic college and he and some friends drove to down to Franciscan University of Steubenville (https://www.franciscan.edu/evangelization/)  for something called Festival of Praise (A monthly Spirit-filled worship service where students encounter Jesus and get saved.) I was still Catholic when I was in college, involved in the Catholic campus ministry and knew about FOP.  Some of my friends in the ministry and I had wanted to go to one but never did.  He shared that he had gotten saved at that FOP.  Also, his mom was Christian (Protestant) and had been involved in Kathryn Kuhlman's ministry (a worldwide healing ministry.)  I knew that people got saved at FOP and it was legit.  I got saved while still Catholic and knew saved Catholics.  God called me out of the Catholic church but knew He called others to stay in.         

We kept talking at work and going out and on his boat and we became "official."  I was involved in different ministries at church and he joined me frequently.  It got serious, we did fall into sexual sin (kept going to church together and ministries) and 2.5 years later God SO clearly told me that I was to end this relationship.  We were having issues as I wanted him to be more "Christian" and was a nag.  He started to not be as interested in the Christian life.  I ended it.  I now know that I never, ever should have dated him as he didn't have his own relationship with God when I met him and because he loved me, he went to church, bible study, and did ministry.  I wanted a man who loved God more than me.   My hypocrisy was blinding, I know.

All these years later I wonder this:  We never should have dated in the first place so is it wrong to miss and think about him from time to time and be happy when thinking of the cool, fun things we did for dates?  Or should I think that everything was bad and try to regret everything- even the good things? 

   

No its not wrong to miss him and remember the good things and the positive things that came out of that relationship, even though he wasn't Gods choice for you. Also if you can learn from what happened that is also positive. God can and does use whatever happens in our lives for good.

I was thinking more a long those lines, too.  Thank you for replying!!!