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Hi all,

I know online dating can work but I don't know if it's for me. When there is a maybe/potential situation, I have far too much anxiety.  Recently, this guy I wasn't at all interested in at first, continued to message me occasionally *as a friend* yet he would pay me these amazing compliments despite only knowing about me via my profile. He never tried to get to know me. He was older. That was a turn-off for me, though the situation has helped me be open to other ages if God's will is for me to have a spouse someday (remarry - first marriage was super toxic and there were biblical grounds for the divorce).

After his last message, I started to think this guy might like me so I finally paid him a compliment - I don't know if it was clear what I was trying to say - and said maybe we could talk more sometime. I'm no longer on that dating site, membership expired. We'd exchanged email addresses - I gave him my "online dating" address. Anyway, the situation ended up causes me so much anxiety, I ended up closing that account, thinking the guy was sending confusing messages or maybe I was just reading into something that wasn't there. All this to say, maybe I'll not be ready for dating for a long time yet - unless I can get the anxiety under control. But then maybe with the right person, there won't be ambiguity or anxiety! Or not as much.

Who can relate to this stress?

Hi Hazel

It may be best to get this anxiety under control first. I did on line dating for 2 years and its not for the faint hearted, although I got to know some lovely people through it and met my now husband of 14 years also.

What have you done to help the anxiety? I wonder if counselling may help? Prayer ministry? 

I made a counselling appointment because I'm tired of this...the overthinking and anxiety. That is me often really but definitely any potential dating makes it worse.

I didn't have this much anxiety surrounding dating in the past and I also don't know if I've always overthought things like I do now.

Quote from: hazel_eyes on Mon Feb 24, 2020 - 08:15:09
I made a counselling appointment because I'm tired of this...the overthinking and anxiety. That is me often really but definitely any potential dating makes it worse.

I didn't have this much anxiety surrounding dating in the past and I also don't know if I've always overthought things like I do now.

Were you always this way or is it since the bad marriage?

Quote from: chosenone on Mon Feb 24, 2020 - 08:23:25
Were you always this way or is it since the bad marriage?

Since the bad marriage. I'm pretty sure. But then again it's not fair to put all the blame for how I am now on that. It could also be an age-thing.

Quote from: hazel_eyes on Mon Feb 24, 2020 - 08:26:27
Since the bad marriage. I'm pretty sure. But then again it's not fair to put all the blame for how I am now on that. It could also be an age-thing.

Not sure that anxiety gets worse just because we get older, but who knows. If you have always ben anxious them maybe that just you, but I am sure you could be helped.