Christian Forums

My name is Geena, and I am 29.  I met a gentleman two months ago at a church meeting.  He was attractive, and he told me he was 18, and I immediately had no intention of 'dating' him. But i kept seeing him every Sunday at church, and I sometimes see him in my sub because he lives around the corner. 
I am 6 foot 3, just so you know, and he's only 5 foot 5, but whenever, I see him at church functions, he is well dressed, well spoken, mature, and he is very, very attractive.  After a lot of persistence on his part, I finally agreed to meet him for coffee three weeks ago, and I don't know, I just have feelings for him I have never had for anyone else.  He is Christian, sweet, kind, and the more I see him, the more I realize that age is just a number.

My question is this: at what point do I just completely toss the age barrier out the window, and start moving to a 'new' level?

I don't know.  It seems like if you have to ask about moving to a "new" level, it isn't the time.

One of my friends was a young, new, high school teacher, when she started out years ago, and met an older, mature student in her English class.  They got a long very well, and some time later, after he was no longer a student, they "got to courting", as my mother would say, and married, and have been happy since.

She is maybe 5 years older than he.  They now have two bright young teen kids.

Age IS just a number, if you are aware of the factors that can cause you problems later.  'Cause, see, what if you find a mate just the same age as you, and you STILL have troubles?  That's the secret -- we ALL have troubles.

So you look at worst-case scenarios and you weigh all the factors you are aware of and you do the best you can to make good Godly decisions.  That's all any of us can do.

But for now -- short or tall, young or older, you take your carefully considered steps.  No need to rush anything.

What's age got to do with love? If you really think you're compatible with him and feel drawn to him, why let numbers keep you apart?

We have a 27-year-old woman at church engaged to a 20-year-old man.

Personally, I would never date a younger man, or any man at all for that matter.  

No men at all for me thanks.  Probably not an older woman either (if I was not married).

While I 'm not convinced it is true in all cases, it seems to me that the most common possible problems with a significant age gap in a dating relationship, particularly if one of them is quite young, are the issues of differing rates and levels of maturation and emotional compatibility (often due to life experiences....or lack thereof), and frankly, simply being at different stages in life.

However, if these are not an issue....I don't see why it should matter.

I, personally, tend to be attracted to men who are quite a bit older than I.   So there may be a significant age gap...but in reverse.

I've dated from 16 years younger to over 16 years older. I believe the decision comes down to finding what you have in commom, and what differences you have that compliment each other.
The reasons play a big factor. Is either thinking they will rescue/or get rescued? Wrong reason, no matter the age difference either way. The relationship is to nurture and grow with each other. 
If you get to spend one on one time with each other, does each person feel comfortable, do things just seem normal or is there some discomfort or uneasiness?
You don't even have to be on the same page with the other. Each person is to bring their library card into the relationship and check out (share with the other person) their books of likes and dislikes, their knowledge, their expectations, their willingness to share, to help the other grow. That's when you can decide if this person compliments you and you them.
To me, age is just a number. It's a choice, I tell ya!

I tend to be on the immature side of my age. From my preteens-teens into my 30's I was quite too mature. I don't know why, when or how, but I changed. I feel free. I am happy. I love to have fun. I am responsible and I do take important matters seriously. I am conservative rather than toward the liberal side, which shocks people when they are first getting to know me. Life is given to me one day at a time. I'd rather enjoy my life than be old and stuffy. (Now, that doesn't sound nice.) I just don't relate to "old" people my age. Like I said, age is just a number. It's the commonness(?) and the willingness between the two that matter.

It all depends if he's mature and if he line's up with everything you're looking for in a Godly mate. I don't think most of the time age really matters. There is this girl from the  church that I attend, she is engaged to this guy, they were dating when she graduated from high school and when he graduated from college. She was 18 and he was 22 or 23 and they are engaged to get married in December . I don't know how long they were dating before they graduated from high school and college. It could be a possibility they might have dated or liked each other longer than that, I don't know . Most of the time age is just a number just as long other person don't end up in jail yada yada yada.

Thankyou tp everyone for making me see the real issues.  I have thought a lot about it..and i have been makign sure i have been not using this as an excuse for making me feel younger, or that i am not attracted to just his body.  i have come to the conclusion that we are both chrisitan, mature, and want long term.  and so i do not look at him as being just turned 18; i look at him as my boyfriend.  i am in the process of meeting his family and friends.  the only challenge is the living situation. i own a condo, and he purchased a house that he works on during the week a year ago whe he just turned 16.  so, he spends his days working at his job and nights workign on his house.  he stays with me durng the weekend.  but i wonder what i will do when the time comes to decide where one will go since we both have homes.

You say he stays with you during the weekend? Does that mean the two of you live together under one roof on the weekends? Just curious.

To answer whther or not he sleeps with me when he comes ehre on the weekends, the answer is No.  I am not saying we do nothing, its just that I don't feel comfortable with sex until we are married.  I am nearly 30, and I have come too far to sell myself too short.  He is 18, but it is so much more then the physical then that. 
He spends every weekend at my house because he works full time during the week, and then Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday he spends working on his own house, and then Wednesdays he spends with his parents.  Between my work and his schedule, the weekends are our only time.