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Hello Karen,

My husband and I are in our fifth year of homeschooling our thirteen year old son. We used to be more relaxed, but have picked up the pace lately. Our son likes structure more than the relaxed style (my preference) so I adapt. His likes everything, but especially history and writing. He loves to read. (No tv, videos, gameboy or internet access but we have just recently introduced a couple of computer games. We do not boycott media, but we do approach it consciously as a planned reward activity.) We are blessed to be only one block from the library! His regular weekly activites include, Ai ki do (orange belt), swim team, violin (3rd year! he's a natural!) international touring children's choir, youth symphony, and he is a professional voice-over artist with a recurring role on a national show.

Our reason for homeschooling is simply that there is so much more to do than go to school all day! I felt like that as a child, but had to suffer through. I am SO blessed to be able to give him the childhood I always knew I could have if only ....

Hello, everyone.  

We also have four children, ages 15, 13, 10 and 9.  We are in our sixth year of homeschooling.  Our oldest two are on opposite ends of the \"bell curve\" - the oldest is a self-starter, while my 13 y/o needs lots of structure and one-on-one focus.  Our youngest two are in the public school 3rd grade and we'll probably have them attend one more year there before bringing them home.  

We are blessed to have lots of homeschool resources close by here in Atlanta.  My oldest attends a one day a week homeschool resource with about 25 Christian homeschool students where they are instructed in Classical education:  grammar and composition, history, Latin and logic.  They receive assignments for the rest of the week at that time.  I work with him in math and science as that is my background.  We're not sure what we'll do with him for the remainder of his high school career -- we were just talking about options this afternoon, as a matter of fact!

Karen,

If you will give them a telephone call or send them an e-mail, they will add you to their mailing list and send you a catalog. Or you can send me your info privately and I will put it in the hands of the fine lady who takes care of that particular area for my brother (our mother--a 40+ hr a week worker at 79 years old!!)  The Texas office just happens to be 150 yards from my front door.  

I can understand your scheduling conflict!  

For anyone interested, my brother and his wife have completed homeschooling their oldest daughter (16) who is now an active part of the speaking ministry and is in the process of publishing a couple of books she has written.  They are still homeschooling  two boys (apx 13 and 11--I think:]) ) and a daughter (5).  Just don't hold this uncle to exact ages--I'm doing good to remember my own age!

Wiley

Thanks for asking.  Yes, he's definitely gifted.  He excelled in the public schools during his first four years there.  Second grade was kind of odd because his class was crammed into a very small room and he would get his assignments done much more quickly than most of the rest of the class and start bothering his buddies :-) but otherwise he did extremely well.

He's continued to be pretty social, so the one day a week homeschool group is good for him, as is his participation in the local soccer association and, of course, the church youth group.  

His abilities are one of the reasons my wife and I are wrestling with what to do the next three years.  I'm not sure I can continue to provide the challenge and/or resources in math and the sciences that a more formal environment would provide.

My son stopped hinting about public school when his friends started the seventh grades. They moan about the long hours of homework and the tests. They tell him how fortunate he is. He's never been rebellious about homeschool but his support has been mostly tolerant until this year. He is always finished around noon, too. Then, we pick up Dad from work and drive to a local cafe or Mexican restaurant and Dad says, \"Hmmm. I wonder what the kids at school are having for lunch?\"

I am currently researching and developing a curriculum for next year. It will be a mixture of 8th, 9th and 10th grade. He is above average in everything but grammar. I am a writer and speak two languages without taking a single grammar class. My son is a writer too. He is working on a science fiction novel. We are functioning well with the english language without the headache of grammar. But, from my research, knowledge of grammar will be necessary to pass entrance exams for the university. My understanding is that grammar is a way to slaughter a language through dissection in order to understand how it functions. But .... I guess we will try (with a healthy dose of disrespect) to learn grammar together next year ... Ugh!

[!--QuoteBegin--][/span][table border=\"0\" align=\"center\" width=\"95%\" cellpadding=\"3\" cellspacing=\"1\"][tr][td]Quote (chrischar @ Feb. 13 2002,4:34)[/td][/tr][tr][td id=\"QUOTE\"][!--QuoteEBegin--]patriciaredstone,

I would like to homeschool when my son is old enough, but my wife thinks that it would be a bad thing to do. She says that homeschooling him would shelter him too much and that he would not have good social skills.

I don't think that is true. What advice would you have on that?

-Chris[/quote]
Chris,

I have found that research always pays off (and since your child is quite young, you have pleanty of time to gather evidence!) I recommend that you make contacts in the homeschool community. Observe the children. Talk to the parents. Then, take a lunchtime every month or so to visit a school in your area. Go to Open Houses. Springtime is the season for schools to conduct Open Houses for the public. Just keep in mind that Open Houses are designed to impress.

I'm not going to tell you that homeschool is the best option for your child because I don't know your child. I will say that homeschool is probably better for boys than for girls. From my experience, the conventional school is custom fitted for the smartest and most socially adept girl. Schools don't know what to do with high-energy (in other words, \"normal\") boys. They make them feel bad just for being alive. As a feminist, I am appalled at the discrimination against boys in school. The sins of the past cannot be mended by emasculation of our boys.

In my perfect world, boy and girls would be seperated for most of the day all the way through high-school. And school courses would be elective ... and ... I'll stop there.

Do your homework, Daddy.

Chris,

[!--QuoteBegin--][/span][table border=\"0\" align=\"center\" width=\"95%\" cellpadding=\"3\" cellspacing=\"1\"][tr][td]Quote [/td][/tr][tr][td id=\"QUOTE\"][!--QuoteEBegin--]I would like to homeschool when my son is old enough, but my wife thinks that it would be a bad thing to do. She says that homeschooling him would shelter him too much and that he would not have good social skills.

I don't think that is true. What advice would you have on that?

-Chris[/quote]

My wife and I actually considered homeschooling before my brother and his wife became involved in it.  However, we were very fortunate in that the local school was about 75% Chiristian from administrators, school board, and teachers and many of the kids were active in several churches (mostly Baptist).  It made for a very good environment for the kids in our public school.  Our school actually bucked the Supreme court decisions against several areas relating to Christian beliefs and no one ever complained.  They were all happy with the atmosphere, and the quality of the education (180 students from K-12 with avg class size of 12 in high school).  We also used to think the same thing as your wife.  Quit thinking that way along time ago though.

From what I have seen among kids in home schooling (I have been thrown with quite a few families because of my brother's homeschooling and ministry), home schooled kids actually seem to handle the social pressures of the outside and have much better social skills than their public school counter parts.  The homeschooled kids seem to be much better behaved overall, and much more intelligent and knowledgable for a given age group.

That's the observations from a non-homeschool parent of three grown daughters!  If we were going to raise more kids, we would probably go the homeschool route because the school here is no longer the school it used to be.  Drugs have come in pretty heavy and all the problems that go with the drugs.  And we are a very rural town!

Wiley

All good points, Jeff. My son is with other children everyday. But, unlike children in conventional school environments, he is with adults just as much. To me that is balance.

One thing I have noticed about most conventionally schooled 13 year-old boys is that they rarely open themselves up to eye contact. They tend to be very withdrawn in activites and events which fall outside of the school. They avoid interface with adults. Also, they tend to have a diminished vocabulary and mumble. I do not know of a single homeschooled boy with these issues. I wonder if this introverted behaviour -- that boys are not relaxed around adults -- comes from a lack of experience with adults. Homeschooled children are with adults in every possible social experience throughout the course of the day. For the homeschooled child, adults are not only authoritairian. They are your grandma who likes to have a round of cards every day after lunch. They are your librarian who loves to see you every day and ask you how you liked that last science fiction novel. They are your mailman who you leave a birthday card in the mailbox for every May 11th. They are your next door neighbor who knows she can honk the horn to call you to help her get the groceries out of the car and up the stairs every Wednesday afternoon ....  I guess what I'm trying to say is that LIFE is a social experience. People are always telling me that my son appears to be older than his years. He's an average kid -- girls LOVE him and tell him so often, he goes to dances, \"needs\" hot athletic shoes, and spikes his hair -- but I think what they notice as being unusually adult for a child is only the natural response to a rich daily life complete with the experience of seeing adults in all kinds of cirucmstances. He has a healthy disrespect for adults. He has learned that they are not infallible, always dependable or truly authoritarian (that it's a front he is required to respect) That adults struggle with many of the same issues children struggle with and are just as needy for attention, help and advice as kids are.

I'm an Air Force wife in OH.  My husband is a nurse anesthetist who is getting ready to deploy overseas for 3-6 months (we won't know how long till they tell him he can go home).  This is is second deployment; the last one was an 8-week deployment to Kuwait while I was pregnant with our youngest. We have 4 kids ages 17mo, 3, 6, and 10.  

We are one of about 5 or 6 families in our congregation of a little over 200 who homeschool.  Currently, we are fairly relaxed homeschoolers; we have some \"bookwork,\" but the kids do a lot of \"real-life\" learning, also.  I am currently reading a small book by Barbara Shelton called The Homeschool Jumpstart Navigator that is really encouraging me in my quest for seeking to do more than try to fill my children's heads with a bunch of information, but to give them tools for a life of learning and knowing Christ.

I'm looking forward to meeting the other homeschoolers here!

Karen

Karen,

Have you checked the mileage to Ft. Mitchell Bend, Kentucky yet?

Wiley

[!--QuoteBegin--][/span][table border=\"0\" align=\"center\" width=\"95%\" cellpadding=\"3\" cellspacing=\"1\"][tr][td]Quote [/td][/tr][tr][td id=\"QUOTE\"][!--QuoteEBegin--]Have you checked the mileage to Ft. Mitchell Bend, Kentucky yet?[/quote]

Wiley,

According to the wholehearted website, it is just south of Cincinatti, so it probably is less than 2 hours from here.  Unfortunately, the weekend of that conference is probably the same time my husband will be leaving for his deployment, so there is no way I could go.  :(  But please keep us informed of other conferences!

Karen

[[they are instructed in Classical education:  grammar and composition, history, Latin and logic. ]]

This sounds like the plan we will move into for next year. So, tell me Jeff, has your 15 year old son always been a self-starter?

[!--QuoteBegin--][/span][table border=\"0\" align=\"center\" width=\"95%\" cellpadding=\"3\" cellspacing=\"1\"][tr][td]Quote (Jeff @ Feb. 11 2002,11:23)[/td][/tr][tr][td id=\"QUOTE\"][!--QuoteEBegin--]Thanks for asking.  Yes, he's definitely gifted.  He excelled in the public schools during his first four years there.  Second grade was kind of odd because his class was crammed into a very small room and he would get his assignments done much more quickly than most of the rest of the class and start bothering his buddies :-) but otherwise he did extremely well.

He's continued to be pretty social, so the one day a week homeschool group is good for him, as is his participation in the local soccer association and, of course, the church youth group.  

His abilities are one of the reasons my wife and I are wrestling with what to do the next three years.  I'm not sure I can continue to provide the challenge and/or resources in math and the sciences that a more formal environment would provide.[/quote]
Jeff,

He sounds like my son. But my son does not initiate academic studies. We have to set study times, goals and deadlines for him. Most of the time he does the work quite well, but we wish he was more self-motivated. Maybe that's asking too much of a 13 year-old who still likes to play with legos at every opportunity!

We think we will be hitting the wall of our abilities to teach him in a couple of years and are considering a couple of ideas. One idea, which is most appealing, is community college. In our state, students are accepted on the basis of a very easy entrance exam (He could have passed it two years ago). It seems to be path of choice for high-school age homeschoolers in California. There, he can take his science labs and advanced math and some introductory courses in disciplines which may (or may not) interest him in the university. And, while he is in class, I can take a few refresher courses there too ... like tennis!

Great idea!  We've been talking about the early college idea as well... specifically for this summer, as I want to find a keyboarding class for him and the local colleges/technical schools might be the best option.  Who'd have known 25 years ago when my mother made me take \"typing\" how useful that course would turn out to be!!   :D

What has helped Andy the most in terms of self-motivation has been the homeschool group instruction time...  there were times before when he was just reporting to \"Mom\" that he'd drag his feet on assignments.  Now that he has an \"external\" deadline, he's a lot more disciplined.  When we first started homeschooling he would occasionally ask about going back to public school,  and we'd give him the speech about how good he has it... he's usually through with his day's work by noon.  

A couple years ago our minister called with extra tickets to a 1:00 mid-week Braves' game (I work shift work and have different days off each week so our minister had an idea Andy and I might be available.)  As we're sitting in these great lower level seats six rows back from 1st base, I looked at Andy and asked, \"How do you like homeschooling now?\"

patriciaredstone,

I would like to homeschool when my son is old enough, but my wife thinks that it would be a bad thing to do. She says that homeschooling him would shelter him too much and that he would not have good social skills.

I don't think that is true. What advice would you have on that?

-Chris

Partriciaredstone,

Thank you for your words. You said what I feel and have not been able to say for fear of being called a \"sexist.\"

You are right.

Thank you,

Chris

Chris:  Here's a quote I heard from one homeschooling parent, \"The social skills I'm observing among most middle school students are not \"skills\" or behaviors I want to see in my child!\"  

I'll agree wholeheartedly with Patricia that homeschooling is not for everyone, although you will meet homeschoolers who for some reason feel a need to rally behind the \"homeschool banner\" and convince every one they meet that THIS is the WAY.  It's simply another option.  

Both of my parents were educators and my dad in particular was very concerned when we started homeschooling.  Over the years we have \"won him over\" simply by letting him observe the behavior of our children and letting him see that they're not isolated or socially inept.  I have a cousin, on the other hand, who is isolating her children in an Mennonite-like environment and I have a big problem with that.  By virtue of the fact that you children are going to be in the church, they are going to get social interaction.  Add that to the possibility of interaction with other children in the neighborhood and possible homeschool group activities and the \"social skills\" question is NOT a factor.