Christian Forums

Hello everyone,

I have been thinking a lot recently about the type of mate i would want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I have also asked God to bless me with Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now. A lot of people say that beauty is only skin deep, is in the eyes of the beholder and etc. I would like to know what you think and then I will respond as well.

This is for singles and married people. Especially the married ones because they speak from experience rather than opinion. They have actually talked the talk and walked the walk. Singles of course can share what they think about this issue because I am single and I believe that I know what I want and what I need in a mate. So please reply when you get a chance.

thanks AE

I voted Yes, is should matter, it does matter -- but perhaps not for the negative, shallow reasons that immediately come to mind.

Aspects of Physical Appearance that Do Matter In Some Way:

*a reasonable healthy level of cleanliness fits in under appearance
*fashion choices tie in with appearance (including attitudes toward how wealthy one appears and how much skin one bares)
*many mental and emotional factors go into how a prospective date/mate carries himself or how she interacts with others (posture, "personal space" invasion)

You can probably think of more.

Now -- the more shallow ways of judging by appearance, for example taking an automatic dislike to people with blonde hair or buck teeth or another ethnic group --  those will get you nowhere and can lead you into sinful attitudes.

And don't forget, being too obsessively picky about the appearance of your "dream lover" will probably make you miss out on the love of your life, just because he has atrocious taste in ties, or just because she has put on an extra 20 pounds on a college diet.

Eye candy eventually melts and sticks to the floor.

Eeeewww...

So far....everyone said 'Yes!'....including me.

The point of the 'eye of the beholder' means just because you meet the right person and think they are attractive....doesn't mean anyone else would share your same view.  This is what makes love so interesting.

But if you don't find someone attractive enough to want to wake up next to them each morning....then you are going to have one long crappy marriage.

I am single myself, but I do believe it does matter...but only initially.  Eventually you are going to get to know that person and if they offer nothing (i.e. they maintain their physical appearance so much that they have nothing left for the inside), you're going to move on pretty quick, knowing that him or her wasn't any good for you anyways.

I always say that I am attracted to cute girls, but not ones that people would say are extremely hot, lol.  With cute girls, there is always something that you pick up on that no one else does, and it's usually not obvious.  This way I know that I am not being too picky, and don't really need to fear rejection and being "tooled" around to weird events and places with that "hottie" from the fake 'n bake shop.

Anyways, yes, beauty definitely is in the eyes of the beholder, which just goes to show that there is someone for everyone.

I should also add that beauty is nothing without a good personality.

Quote from: zoonance on Sat Mar 01, 2008 - 11:49:10
Eye candy eventually melts and sticks to the floor.

Wow . . . did you come up with that yourself, zoonance?  That's profound.   

Quote from: zoonance on Sat Mar 01, 2008 - 11:49:10
Eye candy eventually melts and sticks to the floor.

What is on the outside is usually a good reflection of what is going on on the inside

Everyone deserves to be with someone they want to be with.

Speaking as a man and what I would say to other guys, it's a guy's responsibility to find a woman that's the best possible choice for him and not what everyone says is best, not what he thinks they think is best. This one time, when he's choosing his future wife, he needs to focus exclusively on his own needs and who will make him happy.

Trust me, nobody else  is worrying about your needs or wants. So you need to be concerned about your own.  And this is the last chance you'll get. Once you're married, you are in it for the long haul and you will have to die to self for her and your children if you have them.

Forget about what's politically correct, be selfish. It is the best thing you can do for yourself, and for your future wife. If you choose her based on what you need and want it will only make it better years down the road when what you need or want is not first.

And along with who you are physically attracted to, look for wifely qualities, not only girlfriend qualities. You find a woman you are physically attracted to, who is also beautiful to you on the inside and she has, wifely qualities, you have hit a home run.