Christian Forums

I have just signed in this message board and I am hoping that you will all be able to help me.

I have been offered a job in another country but I am married (made 6yrs on may 25th) and have two adorable girls (8yrs and 5yrs).

whereas this job offers a great boost to my resume and a much needed increase in income for the family, it will necessitate me to move to another country.

Following a discussion with hubby and in view of the fact that the initial contract period is 12 months (renewable) we considered in prudent for the family to stay at home until a longer term contract can be secured.

I know that theoretically it is workable but would appreciate all the practical advise I can get in order to ensure that my marriage is not affected.

Regards,
Annette 

Make sure you can get to see each other often.  Other than "military" marriages I would not recomend it to anyone.  If the situation is that you have no choice... such as for serving in the military (We HAVE to have a military, and someone has to do it)....  I'd say... DON'T.  There are times when it will be easy, but there are times you will want to die.  Trust me.

It's not worth it for just money... accolades or recognition... "For what does it profit a man if he gain the world and lose his soul". 

You have to KNOW that you can be separated from your spouse for that long of time, or long periods of time. I've seen many a military marriage fall to the waste side.  It's so sad to see.  AND GET THIS>... (RANT coming on)... I've seen military wives cheat and leave their deployed husbands for ANOTHER military man.

OH MY GOSH... I just want to "Beat down" on them. It makes me so mad... WHAT in the world would you take on another military marriage for when you COULD NOT be faithful to the first one you had?  Is that the lowest thinking mind in the world?  Well, to me it is.

Sorry... carry on,... back to your topic. 

Please... Just know what you can deal with. 

Your marriage will be affected.  That you can be ensured of.  I assume you mean, "to ensure that my marriage will survive without any serious issues or consequences"  Only you could possibly know each other that well.   I would not want my wife to be gone a year.  I don't like it when she is gone a week.  There are pressures that will strain the loneliness and physical needs, much less the emotional and spiritual ones...

I grew up in a military family.  My father was gone alot.  I hardly know him now.  Its not just your marriage that the time apart will affect, but you children as well.  Will they have to have a sitter more now?  Does dad work as well?  If so, you can be sure that means more time with someone else raising the children.  My parents are still together after more than 30 years, but at least once that I know of, maybe more I do not, the separations and time apart nearly drove them to divorce.  Also, in contract work, make sure that all expenses to get there, and back home should the contract not be re-newed are covered.  You could also potentially negotiate a few trips home covered by the contracting company as well.   

Dad works and fortunately both of the girls attend school from 8:00am-5:00pm Monday to Friday.  The other fortunate thing is that I have been staying with my sister for the last 3yrs and therefore she can be of great use.

I had a discussion with my new employer and he indicated that the initial 12 months is the probation period and that he is more interested in a longer term arrangement as a high attrition would also affect operations of the agency.

My new employer also offered to try and find hubby a job.

Negotiating for a few visits at home is something I had not considered and yet it is something I could exploit.

Thanks for all your advise and keep them coming.

Most importantly join me in prayer so that the unusual happens and I move with my family  . 

I am hubby's best friend and would not want to leave him for 12 months !!!!!