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What do I do?

Started by amberose, Thu Jul 03, 2008 - 02:09:03

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amberose

I am 17 and i am having boy problems. here's the story: I don't think that i believe in love, I always say that it doesn't exist. My problems all started about three weeks ago when my guy friend asked if i still wasn't dating. I told him that when i did decide to date he would be the first to find out. He told me that I don't have much time because he is leaving for the marines in september 2009. I decided that next summer would be the perfect time to start dating. We could go on a few dates and stuff before he leaves. Now it seems this boy is all i can think about. It is really distracting. I don't know what to do to get him out of my head. Someone please help!

DueyAB

Ummm...I think the answer is extremely simple.  He likes you (he told you that) and now you like him, so ask him out!  Why would you wait until the next summer and give yourselves a short amount of time to connect?

I'm no expert, but I think that would create a lot of confusion for him if you were to only go on a couple of dates and then he's off!  He needs to be able to focus once he's off to the marines, but he'll be preoccupied thinking of you (which isn't necessarily a bad thing...but you know what I am trying to say).  Your plan almost seems selfish because you know he likes you, but you've given him no real indication that you are interested and your plan is to keep him at a distance for a preset amount of time.

There is also the possibility that he will meet another girl in the time that you have decided to wait.  Crushes fade...and there's nothing worse than acting on something too late because you will always wonder what could have been.  You are wrong about love not being real.  You can see it everywhere and in everybody everyday (man...that's a lot of every's).  However, true love is something that takes time and a lot of work - remember that love is not a feeling or emotion.

I would also pray to God to give you guidance on this matter.

search4Christians

You like this guy and for that resone you are always thinking about him

You also know for a fact that he likes you and for this resone I think you should tell him that you are ready!!!

Good luck and i hope it works out for you!

kensington

You are 17 and he is getting ready to start a career in the military... ask your parents what they think. We can give you our best guess, but the truth is, you are under age and your parents need to be in this decision.  My 17 year old has to bring any dates through me. I'm not going to sit back and not have a clue as to who they are with and who they like. 

Go to your parents, and ask them to help you process this. 

I'm a military wife of 22 years and the mom of a deployed Marine, that is a long term choice and being involved in a relationship with a military man is NOT for all women.  Not in the least.  You will be called on to live HALF of your life alone, and that does NOT mean as single.  It means ALONE, longing for someone who is not and will not be there. 

Think about it...  Dating is fun, but you can fall in love.  Please, go to your parents or at least your mom, let her help you seek these answers.  I think she would be honored to help you seek the answers to process this.  God Bless.

amberose

The problem isn't whether i am ready to date the question is what do i do to stay focused and not keep obsessing over the boy.

Imabear

Why don't you believe in love?
What about love don't you believe in?
True, being in-love is temporary.  But a loving relationship can work, if you work at it.
If he likes you and you like him, why don't you want to spend time with him?
I guess you could always try keeping yourself busy.  Find some other interests.  Pray about it.

Crushes don't last forever.  You'll get over it. eventually. 

NovemberGirl

Infatuations and crushes wont last. Being in love will last if its really love. And yes, it does exist. God says so.  ::cool::

DueyAB

Amberose, can I ask why you are wanting to wait until next summer to start dating him?  What's going to be different next summer as compared to this summer?  If you are afraid to start dating, I can understand that as starting new things with people, especially when someone can have their feelings hurt, is a little frightening.  Is it perhaps a maturity thing?  Also, is this guy someone your parents wouldn't approve of you dating?  If so, you will need to discuss this with your parents as another poster mentioned.  There's certainly no harm in that.

Anyways, if my previous post sounded a bit rude, I apologize.  I definitely didn't mean it that way...

Take care!

amberose

I want to thank all of you for your advise. I didn't have internet for a while, and when i got it back i forgot to come back to this site. Things are better now. I mostly don't think about the boy anymore and he is less of a distraction. I am doing better and putting most of my focus on God. I know that all of my focus should be God, but I am still struggling. I am overloaded with homework and I am my grades are slipping. My homework is overwhelming and distracting at times, but things are still alot better.

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