Christian Forums

I recently read an article that said that there were far more girls (that are single) that go to church than there are guys.  I can't remember for the life of me where I read this, but it got me thinking.

Some of the women in these churches claimed they hadn't been taken on a date in years or ever at all, this also got me thinking.

Why are there just as many men complaining about being single on these boards as there are women?  We should be seeking these women out, at church or church related events.  What happened to the good ol' fashioned get in your face, don't take no for an answer, salesman approach to finding a date?

Quote from: DueyAB on Wed Jul 30, 2008 - 23:55:00What happened to the good ol' fashioned get in your face, don't take no for an answer, salesman approach to finding a date?

A lot of guys aren't aggressive like this.  And, pursuing relationships can be intimidating for some people.

From a single girl's point of view: I definitely wouldn't mind being asked out by a guy at church...

Quote from: DueyAB on Wed Jul 30, 2008 - 23:55:00
What happened to the good ol' fashioned get in your face, don't take no for an answer, salesman approach to finding a date?

Sexual harrassment laws

Quote from: internationalelf on Wed Aug 27, 2008 - 14:19:49

Quote from: DueyAB on Wed Jul 30, 2008 - 23:55:00
What happened to the good ol' fashioned get in your face, don't take no for an answer, salesman approach to finding a date?

Sexual harrassment laws

I'd have to agree.

Quote from: internationalelf on Wed Aug 27, 2008 - 14:19:49

Quote from: DueyAB on Wed Jul 30, 2008 - 23:55:00
What happened to the good ol' fashioned get in your face, don't take no for an answer, salesman approach to finding a date?

Sexual harrassment laws

And this is a bad thing?

I think that the girl to guy ratio gets bigger as the age gets older. By the time you get to middle age I think it is one single man to about 4 women in the church .
When my first marriage ended, when I was in my 40s I eventually started going on to Christian internet dating sites and the ratio there was the same (ie about 4 to 1)and it was made worse by he fact that men want to meet younger women so there were even less men available for the women.
I was blessed as I met a lovely man who I married three years ago, but for the majority of women of middle age who are single for whatever reason they will never meet a Christian guy, as there are simply not enough guys to go round even if they all find someone.
On the internet sites the ratio for the younger age groups was about the same of each I seem to remember, although at our church there are definately more girls that guys now although it seemed to be more even at one time.

Quote from: chosenone on Wed Dec 31, 2008 - 14:51:10
I think that the girl to guy ratio gets bigger as the age gets older. By the time you get to middle age I think it is one single man to about 4 women in the church .
When my first marriage ended, when I was in my 40s I eventually started going on to Christian internet dating sites and the ratio there was the same (ie about 4 to 1)and it was made worse by he fact that men want to meet younger women so there were even less men available for the women.
I was blessed as I met a lovely man who I married three years ago, but for the majority of women of middle age who are single for whatever reason they will never meet a Christian guy, as there are simply not enough guys to go round even if they all find someone.
On the internet sites the ratio for the younger age groups was about the same of each I seem to remember, although at our church there are definately more girls that guys now although it seemed to be more even at one time.

What you say is true about 4 women to every 1 man.  I have been divorced for several years and have not met ONE Christian man (secular guys are aplenty though!).  And yes, men in their forties and fifties are chasing after twenty somethings.  That's just bizarre.   

Quote from: isaiahtwelve on Thu Jan 01, 2009 - 00:07:46

Quote from: chosenone on Wed Dec 31, 2008 - 14:51:10
I think that the girl to guy ratio gets bigger as the age gets older. By the time you get to middle age I think it is one single man to about 4 women in the church .
When my first marriage ended, when I was in my 40s I eventually started going on to Christian internet dating sites and the ratio there was the same (ie about 4 to 1)and it was made worse by he fact that men want to meet younger women so there were even less men available for the women.
I was blessed as I met a lovely man who I married three years ago, but for the majority of women of middle age who are single for whatever reason they will never meet a Christian guy, as there are simply not enough guys to go round even if they all find someone.
On the internet sites the ratio for the younger age groups was about the same of each I seem to remember, although at our church there are definately more girls that guys now although it seemed to be more even at one time.

What you say is true about 4 women to every 1 man.  I have been divorced for several years and have not met ONE Christian man (secular guys are aplenty though!).  And yes, men in their forties and fifties are chasing after twenty somethings.  That's just bizarre.  

Yes I met my second husband when I was 48, he was originally hoping for a younger women (but not THAT young, only maybe 5-10 years younger) but God had other ideas, haha, and he married me and I am one year older than him. I often tease him that I am his 'older women' and that he is my 'toy boy' Dont you love Gods sense of humour!

I actually hate it when men look for much younger women sometimes young enough to be their daughters. On the Christian internet site that I met my husband on some men used to say such rediculous things, such as one said that a women of his own age wouldnt be able to keep up with him!!Such arrogance and such rubbish as well. Another man even put himself in the age group younger than the one that his age put him in, as he said that he felt younger than he actually was. Well, dont we all, but excuse me, isnt that lying?? Another said that he related better to younger people, so that was why he wanted a younger women.Amazng isnt it, the excuses that men will give for only wanting a younger women.
Also many men who were in their 40's and even their 50's who had never been married, still wanted children so were looking for women in their 30's and then wondered why they were still looking years later. Why would a 30 year old women be interested in a man who is 15 to 20 years older than her?

Like you I had never met a single man in my age range who was a Christian,(I was 45 by the time my divorce was completed) before going on the internet, and as I said it was the same there, but God hemmed my husband in, and made him see that I was the one in many ways. God can be very devious (in a very nice way of course)to get His will done.

Dont give up though,God has his ways, and he has proved that for me.

Well, when I marry, I want an older woman and I believe that most men do want older woman.  I guess when men get older, they want younger women for pretty much one reason, and that reason is testosterone.  I think that it is easier for a less appealing man to be married/have dates than a less appealing woman to be married/have dates.  I agree that it is not fair for women, but women are nicer and more understanding than man are.  For me personally, I don't really care how beautiful my future wife is and I guess that's because I don't see myself as really appealing (although I do try to make myself more appealing by working out). 

Quote from: chosenone on Thu Jan 01, 2009 - 03:16:32

Yes I met my second husband when I was 48, he was originally hoping for a younger women (but not THAT young, only maybe 5-10 years younger) but God had other ideas, haha, and he married me and I am one year older than him. I often tease him that I am his 'older women' and that he is my 'toy boy' Dont you love Gods sense of humour!

I actually hate it when men look for much younger women sometimes young enough to be their daughters. On the Christian internet site that I met my husband on some men used to say such rediculous things, such as one said that a women of his own age wouldnt be able to keep up with him!!Such arrogance and such rubbish as well. Another man even put himself in the age group younger than the one that his age put him in, as he said that he felt younger than he actually was. Well, dont we all, but excuse me, isnt that lying?? Another said that he related better to younger people, so that was why he wanted a younger women.Amazng isnt it, the excuses that men will give for only wanting a younger women.
Also many men who were in their 40's and even their 50's who had never been married, still wanted children so were looking for women in their 30's and then wondered why they were still looking years later. Why would a 30 year old women be interested in a man who is 15 to 20 years older than her?

Like you I had never met a single man in my age range who was a Christian,(I was 45 by the time my divorce was completed) before going on the internet, and as I said it was the same there, but God hemmed my husband in, and made him see that I was the one in many ways. God can be very devious (in a very nice way of course)to get His will done.

Dont give up though,God has his ways, and he has proved that for me.

The older men looking for very young women amazes me....if they do manage to find one don't they know how much older they look compared to her?  I believe a lot of it stems from the fact that much younger women are more likely to be easy to control.  When I see a 55 year old men starting a second family, with a 30 year old wife, I always think "Do you know how old you'll be when that kid graduates high school?"  If he's still around, that is.  On the other hand, I get interest from men 10 to 15 years younger than me...no way!  I don't want someone who'll make me look older.   

Quote from: isaiahtwelve on Fri Jan 02, 2009 - 20:05:06

Quote from: chosenone on Thu Jan 01, 2009 - 03:16:32

Yes I met my second husband when I was 48, he was originally hoping for a younger women (but not THAT young, only maybe 5-10 years younger) but God had other ideas, haha, and he married me and I am one year older than him. I often tease him that I am his 'older women' and that he is my 'toy boy' Dont you love Gods sense of humour!

I actually hate it when men look for much younger women sometimes young enough to be their daughters. On the Christian internet site that I met my husband on some men used to say such rediculous things, such as one said that a women of his own age wouldnt be able to keep up with him!!Such arrogance and such rubbish as well. Another man even put himself in the age group younger than the one that his age put him in, as he said that he felt younger than he actually was. Well, dont we all, but excuse me, isnt that lying?? Another said that he related better to younger people, so that was why he wanted a younger women.Amazng isnt it, the excuses that men will give for only wanting a younger women.
Also many men who were in their 40's and even their 50's who had never been married, still wanted children so were looking for women in their 30's and then wondered why they were still looking years later. Why would a 30 year old women be interested in a man who is 15 to 20 years older than her?

Like you I had never met a single man in my age range who was a Christian,(I was 45 by the time my divorce was completed) before going on the internet, and as I said it was the same there, but God hemmed my husband in, and made him see that I was the one in many ways. God can be very devious (in a very nice way of course)to get His will done.

Dont give up though,God has his ways, and he has proved that for me.

The older men looking for very young women amazes me....if they do manage to find one don't they know how much older they look compared to her?  I believe a lot of it stems from the fact that much younger women are more likely to be easy to control.  When I see a 55 year old men starting a second family, with a 30 year old wife, I always think "Do you know how old you'll be when that kid graduates high school?"  If he's still around, that is.  On the other hand, I get interest from men 10 to 15 years younger than me...no way!  I don't want someone who'll make me look older.  

In some ways though, being around someone younger makes you look younger (and hipper) yourself.

As far as the ration of single girls to guys at church, I've noticed the same thing. Some of it might be because so many times Christian girls have been taught the mind game of playing hard to get which, though some women just don't seem to get it, guys hate. Confident guys might act like they "like the chase" but I have yet to meet a guy who doesn't resent it. It seems dishonest and manipulative. Hardly real or honest. So when I've talked to guys about that kind of stuff, they see church women as trying to play some hard to get game and society has already done enough to strip men of confidence. So you really think they want a woman to play some mind game with them about whether or not she's interested? To most guys, that's a turn off. And since church women are viewed as old fashioned and likely to play that "Ask Abby" hard-to-get game guys avoid those types of women.

I have tons of confidence, but if I were single and seeking a relationship and a woman tried to play that game with me when I put myself out there and expressed interest with her, I'm done. I won't be coming around her any more. There are other women who are at least honest and not trying to play mind games.

Think about that ladies.

Quote from: leeford on Tue Jan 06, 2009 - 23:22:05

Quote from: isaiahtwelve on Fri Jan 02, 2009 - 20:05:06

Quote from: chosenone on Thu Jan 01, 2009 - 03:16:32

Yes I met my second husband when I was 48, he was originally hoping for a younger women (but not THAT young, only maybe 5-10 years younger) but God had other ideas, haha, and he married me and I am one year older than him. I often tease him that I am his 'older women' and that he is my 'toy boy' Dont you love Gods sense of humour!

I actually hate it when men look for much younger women sometimes young enough to be their daughters. On the Christian internet site that I met my husband on some men used to say such rediculous things, such as one said that a women of his own age wouldnt be able to keep up with him!!Such arrogance and such rubbish as well. Another man even put himself in the age group younger than the one that his age put him in, as he said that he felt younger than he actually was. Well, dont we all, but excuse me, isnt that lying?? Another said that he related better to younger people, so that was why he wanted a younger women.Amazng isnt it, the excuses that men will give for only wanting a younger women.
Also many men who were in their 40's and even their 50's who had never been married, still wanted children so were looking for women in their 30's and then wondered why they were still looking years later. Why would a 30 year old women be interested in a man who is 15 to 20 years older than her?

Like you I had never met a single man in my age range who was a Christian,(I was 45 by the time my divorce was completed) before going on the internet, and as I said it was the same there, but God hemmed my husband in, and made him see that I was the one in many ways. God can be very devious (in a very nice way of course)to get His will done.

Dont give up though,God has his ways, and he has proved that for me.

The older men looking for very young women amazes me....if they do manage to find one don't they know how much older they look compared to her?  I believe a lot of it stems from the fact that much younger women are more likely to be easy to control.  When I see a 55 year old men starting a second family, with a 30 year old wife, I always think "Do you know how old you'll be when that kid graduates high school?"  If he's still around, that is.  On the other hand, I get interest from men 10 to 15 years younger than me...no way!  I don't want someone who'll make me look older.  

In some ways though, being around someone younger makes you look younger (and hipper) yourself.

As far as the ration of single girls to guys at church, I've noticed the same thing. Some of it might be because so many times Christian girls have been taught the mind game of playing hard to get which, though some women just don't seem to get it, guys hate. Confident guys might act like they "like the chase" but I have yet to meet a guy who doesn't resent it. It seems dishonest and manipulative. Hardly real or honest. So when I've talked to guys about that kind of stuff, they see church women as trying to play some hard to get game and society has already done enough to strip men of confidence. So you really think they want a woman to play some mind game with them about whether or not she's interested? To most guys, that's a turn off. And since church women are viewed as old fashioned and likely to play that "Ask Abby" hard-to-get game guys avoid those types of women.

I have tons of confidence, but if I were single and seeking a relationship and a woman tried to play that game with me when I put myself out there and expressed interest with her, I'm done. I won't be coming around her any more. There are other women who are at least honest and not trying to play mind games.

Think about that ladies.

Yes I agree about the mind games that we women sometimes play. Isn't it another word for manipulation? I adored my husband from the very first time that we met, and being quite a straight forward and honest person, I could never have hidden it from him.

Some women are good at that sort of thing, but men aren't wired like that and just don't 'get it; when women are so inconsistent, they just need to know what is going on and where they stand.

However have to disagree that a man being with a much younger women makes them look hip and young, I think it does the opposite, and makes them look sad and old and desperate to be something that they are not anymore. Also if a women is with a much younger man that just isn't accepted, and it is frowned upon. Double standards me thinks.

edited for typos by admin

Quote from: chosenone on Wed Jan 07, 2009 - 04:01:32
Also if a women is with a much younger man that just isnt accepted, and it is frowned upon. Double standards me thinks.

Indeed.