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hi everyone, i have a problem and wanted to see what you all thought about this? i find myself in turmoil over my situation. i have been with my boyfriend for about 2 yrs and currently we are living together. he is the best man i have ever been with and loves both my kids as his own. i know as a Christian i am not supposed to be living with him, for its considered living in sin. and that's what is causing me to stress out. we both love each other very much and sometimes he mentions marriage. says it will happen one day. i have never been married but hope to one day, god willing! right now i know what we are doing is wrong and i don't want to continue to live in sin, on the other hand i don't want to pressure him into marriage. i feel it should come from his heart if he truly wants to marry me. i don't have any friends or family where i live that i can go to should i leave him and need another place to stay, but he treats me great and i don't know if i should give him a ultimatum? but again i don't want to pressure him into anything. I'm just not sure how to go about this situation. i love god and don't want to disappoint him. and i can see myself married to my boyfriend. but don't want to continue to live in sin. and have no where to go if i were to leave, what should i do? I'm so confused.

I think you just gave your own answer.  You said that you know you're currently living in sin.

Were you hoping for someone to give you permission to continue sinning?   

no i wasn't expecting that.

Quote from: onefaith on Sat Aug 23, 2008 - 22:01:55
i know as a Christian i am not supposed to be living with him

right now i know what we are doing is wrong and i don't want to continue to live in sin

i love god and don't want to disappoint him.

Then it looks like you need to move out.  And if your guy loves you (and is a Christian!) he will understand.

If he doesn't, then maybe u need a new boyfriend.

Surely, since you called yourself a Christian, you must have a church -- hence, resources.

You already have your answer. God is telling you that you are living in sin and to get out of it. Your children are learning that it's OK to live with someone to whom you're not married--as my children learned from their mother.

Don't accept that same old line, "Some day I may marry you."  If he really meant it, he would have done so by now. You know, getting the milk for free and all that.

love,

Sopranette

onefaith, where did you live before you moved in with your boyfriend?  I'm just curious as to why you cannot return there.

I'm sorry that the man you are with doesn't respect you or think you are worthy of marriage.  You have no legal rights since you're not married to your boyfriend,  and your children are not in a good situation.    They need to know that living together outside of marriage is not God's plan.   I know you don't want to give him an ultimatum, but you're going to have to if you want to free yourself from the sin that you are in now. 

If you are serious about wanting to serve the Lord, pour out your heart to Him, and tell Him that you need His help to find a way out of the situation.  It may take a little time, but He will provide what you need to find another place to live.  He may send another Christian your way to point you in the right direction.

If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will have no trouble making a commitment to you before God and man.  Is he a Christian?  The Bible says to not be unequally yoked.   Before you marry him, I'd be sure he truly has repented and has a heart change.   

I don't want to sound harsh, but it's not going to be easy to get out of your situation both emotionally and physically.  You love this man, but there are consequences to sin.  If the Lord asks you to end the relationship, would you?   

Are you a member of a church?  If so, I'd go to your pastor and tell them what you've told us here.  He may be able to help you find another place to live to get out of the sinful situation you are in now.

I pray that you find the strength to leave and the courage to do what it takes to walk uprightly before God.  Once you repent and ask God to forgive you, He will make you white as snow and cast your sexual sins in the sea of forgetfulness, never to remember them again.   

before i was living with him i was staying with another couple. both me and my boyfriend are Christian. and these past few days i have been really feeling bad for the way i have been living. and i know now what i must do. your right if my boyfriend truly loves me then he should make things right by marrying me. i guess it was just my weak will trying to not press the issue with him. but if it comes down to it i will chose god over my boyfriend i don't know why i let things get this far, especially with children involved. both my parents were never married. so i guess a part of me thought it was acceptable, but that was before i was saved. and now i know better. i can't wait to have this situation resolved. i have prayed a lot and now i am motivated to doing the right thing. i do have family in Miami so i can always go there. in case marriage doesn't come out of this.

Quote from: onefaith on Sun Aug 24, 2008 - 17:07:49
if my boyfriend truly loves me then he should make things right by marrying me.

I think you're missing the point  here.

Just being married is not the issue.  Righteous living until then, is the issue.

Quote from: onefaith on Sun Aug 24, 2008 - 17:07:49
before i was living with him i was staying with another couple. both me and my boyfriend are Christian. and these past few days i have been really feeling bad for the way i have been living. and i know now what i must do. your right if my boyfriend truly loves me then he should make things right by marrying me. i guess it was just my weak will trying to not press the issue with him. but if it comes down to it i will chose god over my boyfriend i don't know why i let things get this far, especially with children involved. both my parents were never married. so i guess a part of me thought it was acceptable, but that was before i was saved. and now i know better. i can't wait to have this situation resolved. i have prayed a lot and now i am motivated to doing the right thing. i do have family in Miami so i can always go there. in case marriage doesn't come out of this.

onefaith, you are on the right track, and I know God is going to help you out of your predicament.  He knows your heart and that you want to do what is right so you can stand before Him with a clear conscience. 

I want to remind you that you are the apple of God's eye, and His precious daughter.  You deserve better than the life you now are living.  He has a plan for you better than what you could ever imagine for yourself.  I pray that you become all you can be in the Lord and that you fulfill your desire to be a wife and mother who will glorify God in your home and family. 

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you...

May the peace of God surround you as you take the steps necessary to change the way things are now.   

thanks for your encouraging words trueblue. I'm thankful for people like you who can remind me who i truly am in gods eyes.

You're very welcome, onefaith. 

Here's a hug to you through me from our loving Father...   

I think that maybe you need to talk to him and say exactly what you have said here about feeling unhappy with the situation, and that you feel that you need to seperate.It could be that he will then need to really question himself about the relationship and he may well realise himself that he needs to commit to you properly. If he is a christian, then he almost certainly knows that what you are doing is wrong, but it sounds as if you are the one who will have to do something about it as he is just letting it carry on.
I am sure that God will bless you and help you if you do the right thing, ask for His help and guidance and I am sure He will show you what to do and how to do it, but its not good for you to have to live with guilt and knowing that you are living in a wrong situation.It may affect you adversly and will affect your relationship with God I am sure.
God will bless you for doing this and you will never loose out by obeying what He says.
God Bless

hello, everyone!! well i spoke to my boyfriend last night and we have decided to get married at the end of February.  i am so glad that I'm finally going to be doing what is right in gods eyes. i thank him for guiding me through this and helping me.

Congratulations, onefaith, but why are you waiting until February?  You do realize that without marriage you are still living in sin, don't you?  Was it his decision to wait another six months for you to wed, or yours?    I just do hope he truly intends to commit, but it should be sooner, than later.   If it was his idea to wait, he may be stringing you along and is not truly willing to make a lifetime commitment to you.  You deserve to be treated with respect and love so that you can become the wife and mother God wants you to be.   If he is also a Christian, he will want what's best for you, him, and the children, and that means marriage and a genuine Christian home environment in which to raise them.