Christian Forums

Hey everyone,

so im new at this, but im going to try my best to explain the situation to you:

At university i met this guy in my small group. He is super nice, funny, and rather attractive.  It usually takes a lot for me to like someone, but with this particular guy, i felt an instant attraction. Anyways, in september we attended a retreat together i kinda felt like he was following me, he would always be where i was - at first it was strange but alright. Anyways, we started to talking on msn a lot - and by a lot i mean almost every night untill really late - like some nights until 1-2 in the morning.

Well last week we had a conglomeration of all of our small groups, he playfully tried to cut my hair, and jumped on top of me and tried to steal my bag when i was leaving.  Then on friday, we both ended up helping collect money for a charity (on halloween night), he walked beside me all night long and kept on nudging me and leaning on me and teasing me.  I didn;t know how to get home from where we were, and he said that he would ride the bus back with me. When he asked how i was going to get home from campus, i said that i was going to walk, he said that it was dark and i might get attacked by something - so i asked if he wanted to walk me back to my house, and he said yes.

I had my car at school on the weekend and offered to drive him home - later that night i wasa also supposed to attend a party (which he knew).  When i dropped him off and was saying goodbye, he said, "aren't you going to come in"... well i stayed for a bit. I missed the time i was supposed to go back to my house and ended up staying there for the rest of the night - we were watching tv with his roomates, and he touched my foot, and said he was trying to steal my sock, i told him i have tickilish feet and he shouldn't (lol), he put his hand on my knee briefly and then took it away.

well, we were supposed to hang out on saturday night but never ended up doing so. which was fine.

last night when were were talking on msn, somehow our conversation ended up straying into the topic of relationships, and what girls and guys want. he asked me what my type was, when i lied and said i didn;t know he said that girls think about that stuff all the time... well i told him i new exactly what i wanted but didn;t know how to go about getting it.

as the conversation progressed, we started talking about his experience with relatioships - i don;t think they left him with a bad outlook on that kind of stuff - long distance and such - and he thought that the girl got what they wanted and then realized that it wasn't quite what they wanted after all (do you understand that?).  well he told me that he made mistakes and wanted to wait on god and that he doesn;t want to be in a relationship now, but that he felt like sometimes that can be just an excuse for not taking chances. he also told me that he doesn't know if he would ever pursue a relationship at school because he knows he will only be here for a couple more years.

i have never been in a dating relationship with a guy before. i don't know what to think. i want the best of what god has for me, but i don;t know what that is.
i don;t know if he knows that i like him, and i don;t know if he likes me, but i am kind of feeling led to believe that maybe he does.. I don;t know, especially because it seems it would go nowhere because of his current state of mind about relationships

i am really confused and feel kind of led on. i don;t know what he wants from me
can anyone give me some insight into this situation?

plus prayers would be helpful.

sorry for the length of this post.
thank you so much to anyone who replies, i totally need help right now.
from both god and people.

God Bless
Melissa
xx

ps. do you guys think i should tell him that i like him? i have no idea what to do

Hi Melissa,

I will give you my "guy point of view". He is definitely flirting with you, although from your post I cannot tell his true feelings towards you. Men are usually direct in their speaking, so if you were to ask...not how he feels...but if he wants to date you...you can hopefully get a direct answer.

I don't want to accuse the man, but it "sounds" like he had intimacy mistakes with his past relationships & perhaps that the woman who he is referencing felt convicted and wanted to end the relationship. It could also mean he didn't satisfy her.

He is probably slightly confused himself about what he wants at this point in his life. His flirting & communication with you would suggest that he is interested in a relationship, but is either torn over his past mistakes to commit now, or genuinely feels God calling him to be single at this time.

In either scenario, if he does not want to date at this time, then his flirting is too aggressive for "just a friend". I'm sure others will chime in, but this is my perspective as a married man & my own experiences.

The first answer was right on the money. Also take it slow..God is not the author of confusion and this sounds a little confusing. Go slow there is no rush.

Tread lightly.  I would be very very careful.  Unless this boy is a Christian and believes in sex AFTER marriage not before, I would be very very careful.  Even if this boy was a Christian and believes in sex after marriage, I would still be careful.  Because he's a boy and they have hormones (hey we all do) and they can get us into t-r-o-u-b-l-e.  Just be careful. 

I was a virgin until the age of 19 and then I went crazy in that department.  And have lived to regret it.  Now I am waiting until I find the right person and am waiting to have sex until I am married.  Praise the LORD for making a change in my life. 

I have to re-iterate.  Just be careful.  I would avoid going over to his dormroom, especially at night, or spending any significant amount of "alone time" with this guy.  He is obviously flirting with you.  He is definitely interested (on some level) in you.  Whether this is just an attraction or something more totally remains to be seen.  I would just see if you can go out in groups if you are interested in spending more time with him.   That is my advice to you.  You sound like you don't have alot of experience with guys.  I my dear have had loads of experience with guys.  Too many of them are pigs and out for one thing.  Be Careful!!!   

"Be happy, young man/lady, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. "

All things belong to God.  There is nothing anyone can do, without GOd's will.   

Go and enjoy the now, be happy for as long as God allows. 

But always keep in mind what Jesus taught us...and use Jesus as the ultimate guide to this life.   

If you are in a situation and you don't know what to do.  Just say "Hey what would Jesus do?"